I have two children, and we’re expecting our third (and last … hello, vasectomy!) in the spring. I recently saw a billboard that claimed babies cost about $700 a month. I did the math on my 2.5 kids, and holy disposable income; the figure hurt. The billboard was an advertisement to deter teenage pregnancy, but… READ MORE »
A few days ago, I learned that a childhood friend of mine was pregnant and found myself unexpectedly exuberant over the idea of buying mini-things for a mini (and quite possibly bald) person who is to arrive in Arizona sometime around the ides of March. I thought this tiny soul should own my mini “Teenage… READ MORE »
Signs that Betty White has truly hit a new level of fame: she hosted “Saturday Night Live” and won the Emmy for it; she appeared on “Inside the Actor’s Studio”; Robert Pattinson called her the sexiest woman alive; and this little two year old is her biggest fan. “Betty White has blonde hair!” We’re… READ MORE »
How would you feel if you knew your young child’s art teacher used to be a prostitute? This is the question at the heart of a news story making waves this week in New York City. Melissa Petro, a “well-liked” elementary school art teacher in the Bronx for the past three years, was recently reassigned… READ MORE »
My boyfriend and I have been together for many years and are intimate in every way except one: he wants dirty talk (really, really filthy talk) in the bedroom and I’m not comfortable giving it. I’m not a prude by any means, and am willing to try anything at least once in every other aspect… READ MORE »
“Our backs ache/
Our skirts are too tight/
we shake our booties from left to right!”
Jennifer and Duane Tesch, of Madison Heights, Michigan, would have sooner gang-banged the cast of “Yo Gabba Gabba” than hear those words come out of 6-year-old daughter Kennedy’s mouth. I mean, who did the coaches think these kids… READ MORE »
Fresh out of a long, committed relationship with my childhood sweetheart to whom I was engaged long before I was ever ready to fully commit myself to someone in that regard, I rebounded. His name was Stan* and he was quiet, shy, compassionate and funny at times. I knew he wasn’t “the one,” but I… READ MORE »
Recently, a blogger pal of mine posted a few life tips, or “life hacks” as she calls them, that she’ll pass along to any potential offspring. Her tips included great advice, like, “Never take Tylenol while you’re still drunk,” “Peeing after sex helps prevent UTIs,” and “Never click on the last picture in an Us… READ MORE »
I don’t get out much.
You can tell from the way these sexy legs of mine perfectly match the white background on your computer screen.
Even worse, I don’t get out of the bedroom much. Instead, I sit cross-legged on my bed for hours on end—my laptop perched on a tray in front… READ MORE »
This week, two 11-year-old boys, who were sentenced to three years probation for sexually assaulting an 8-year-old girl, became the youngest sex offenders in Britain.
Yet, it’s not clear whether they “assaulted” the girl or whether all three kids were engaging in the innocent, curious game of “show me yours and I’ll show… READ MORE »
Facepalm. What kind of bull hooey is this? LEGO has these thingies called “minifigures,” which are little LEGO people dressed up in different outfits. There’s a spaceman. A cowboy. A magician. A deep sea diver. A zombie with a shovel and a chicken drumstick. And even a kick-ass robot! But all of those minifigures —… READ MORE »
I began seeing a great guy about five months ago. I’m 23 and he’s 34, but the age difference has never been a big deal as we have a lot in common. We recently went on a weekend trip where he told me nonchalantly over dinner that he did not want children. When he asked… READ MORE »
Perez Hilton is on the shortlist of awful human beings that I don’t want exposed to my future children. So why, oh why would the kids’ channel Nickelodeon invite the self-proclaimed Queen of All Media to guest star on one of its shows? Perez announced that on Friday, August 27th, at 8 p.m., he’ll have… READ MORE »
When I was 11 years old, I woke up in the middle of the night and heard very upsetting sounds coming from down the hall. It sounded like my mom was sick, she was moaning so loudly. Concerned for her well-being, I went bursting into my parents’ room and, well, let’s just say my… READ MORE »
A few years ago, I jokingly declared that I would refrain from reproducing until after my 10-year college reunion. That way, I said (again, facetiously, although of course I’d be lying if there weren’t a tiny grain of vain truth to all this hilarious jokery), I wouldn’t have to worry about losing baby weight or… READ MORE »
Personally, it feels strange even writing that title. Why wouldn’t parents kiss their kids on the lips? Isn’t that what all parents do? You know, kiss their kids on the lips to show their love? Apparently, some people find the idea of a parent kissing his or her son or daughter on the lips deranged… READ MORE »
I’ve been with my boyfriend now for four years and I love being with him; we get a long very well, especially considering our 20-year age difference. My problem lies in the fact that he has two children (12 and 9) who I love as if they were my own. They are living with us… READ MORE »
I’m smack in the middle of my 30s and recently married. For some childless women my age, this is tick-tick-tick time. However, while other women may be intimately in touch with their ovulation cycles, I’m in no hurry to have kids now, if ever. My old man and I have talked about it, but we’re… READ MORE »