Tag Archives: children

Funny New Blog: @#$% My Kids Ruined

In case you were thinking about having kids anytime soon, this new blog S**t My Kids Ruined will make you think twice. This alternative form of birth control features the worst that can happen when little hellians go on a rampage. The path of destruction left by an angry or curious child is not always so cute. It kind of makes me want to apologize to my mom and dad. You were probably right about not going to sleep with gum in my mouth. It really does always end up in your hair. First up, this lovely little Suzy Homemaker was just doing a little light baking. Secret ingredient? Baby powder. Delish! After the jump, a few more of my favorite kiddie crime scenes. [BuzzFeed] Keep reading »

Girl Talk: Oops … It’s Almost Time To Give Birth!

I’m now six days away from the official due date of my unplanned (but now certainly wanted) first baby, and I think I have learned what it might be like to be disabled in America. It’s not very pleasant. I am certainly a spectacle, but unlike other disabled people, the woman with a giant rotund belly warrants comments from nearly everyone she passes, whether it’s kind strangers who say “Congratulations!” on the street or the bitch who works at Target who warned me not to have my baby on the floor. And if I have to hear “OMG you’re SO pregnant,” one more time (from friends, family and strangers), I really might lose it. I’m hormonal, chunky and need a drink, so stating the obvious is getting plain annoying. Keep reading »

Shirtless, Oily Diaper Ad Takes Cues From Shirtless Oily David Beckham Ad

Creepy sexualization of the kiddies or a clever copycat of David Beckham‘s hot Armani underwear ad? Whether or not you think this South Korean ad for Good-Nites diapers is inappropriate, one thing is for sure: That baby has got to work on his six-pack. [Mom Logic] Keep reading »

Weird Or Genius: Breast-Like Baby Bottles

Certain products are made to simulate real things for quite useful reasons—think Splenda, dildos and Skype video chat. And then there are things that when “brought to life” fall in the realm of just plain scary. That’s what we first thought about these lifelike breast baby bottles by Mimijumi. The “Very Hungry” baby bottle is designed to make suckling babes take to a plastic cap like they would a mother’s teat.

Maybe this would be incredibly useful to get a newborn to take to a bottle … but maybe create some weird sexual conceptions in the future? (OK, total exaggeration.) So, you tell us—is this lifelike bottle something that sucks you in? Or just plain sucks? [TrendHunter.com] Keep reading »

These Kids Dress Better Than You Do

We all troll The Sartorialist for style inspiration and general lusting for items of clothing and shoes that we’ll never be able to afford. But now there’s Planet Awesome Kid, which is basically like a miniature version of everyone’s favorite street style photographs. Julia Samersova, a model agent and casting director, created the site to basically showcase the brilliant style of pint-sized fashion trendsetters. There’s a little boy in gold sneakers, a girl who has a penchant for mixing patterns and a teeny updated version of Danny Zuko from “Grease.” Sure, some of these children were dressed by their parents, but you have to agree that sometimes, kids are just more creative, and sometimes more stylish. Keep reading »

Creepy Onesies: When Did It Become OK To Sexualize Infants?

I am so not OK with the baby onesies above, or any of the others BuzzFeed found for “douchebags in training.” [BuzzFeed] Keep reading »

Mother Gives 9-Year-Old Son Pot: Therapeutic Or Psychotic?

Ah, Double X. Welcome to the world of “alternative motherhood.” This week, Marie Myung-Ok Lee delivers an update on why she gives her nine-year-old son pot. Yes, nine. Yes, pot. Why? Well, he’s autistic and allergic. According to her, the marijuana helps him function. The pot is delivered daily by way of cannabis tea and pot cookies. (Oh, a tea party! How fun!) Four months since the start of this “experiment” in getting her kid stoned, Lee’s son, whom she refers to as “Cannabis J.,” has stopped eating his clothes and is significantly less prone to acting out aggressively in school; although, she says, his autism has “become more distinct.” Her conclusion?

“I don’t consider marijuana a miracle cure for autism. But as an amateur herbalist, I do consider it a wonderful, safe botanical that allows J. to participate more fully in life without the dangers and sometimes permanent side effects of pharmaceutical drugs; now that we have a good dose and a good strain.”

Great, I think, reading those words. Congrats on finding a good “dose” for your son. On the other hand, pot is … natural. What do you think? Mothers Gone Wild or Mother Nature’s Treatment? [Double X] Keep reading »

Girl Talk: How Soon Is Too Soon To Talk About Kids?

I committed one of the cardinal sins of dating recently. I somehow found myself in a heated conversation about the B word. As in BABIES. With someone I’ve been seeing for two weeks. I know. Upon realizing the foolishness of this move, I considered putting my suicide windows to use. But hear me out. Keep reading »

Kids Who Watch Too Much TV Have High Blood Pressure

Oh, unholy of holies. Too much TV-watching is causing high blood pressure in young children! It seems that kids who spend more hours in front of the screen, even if they’re thin and in shape, have significantly higher diastolic and systolic blood pressures than those who don’t watch much TV. Joey Eisenmann, the senior author of this research, believes that kids who spend more time in front of the tube end up snacking more, get distressed at some shows, and get less sleep. These poor habits prove that the American Academy of Pediatrics’ recommendation of no more than two hours of television a day for youngsters is right on target. [NY Times]

But I’ve got to wonder, what about adults?
Keep reading »

Quarter-Million Dollar Babies

My accountant father always complains that I’m an expensive kid. Well lookie here, Pops: the USDA’s Center for Nutrition Policy and Promotion just released a study that says a middle-income family will spend about $221,000 raising a child through age 17. See Dad… I’m not the only one! But since they stopped the survey at age 17, it’s scary to think that in reality, the quarter of a million dollars is only a fraction of the nearly half a million dollars parents will end up dishing out for their kid’s college tuition. Second to the pain involved in the birthing process, I think this is one of the top reasons not to have rugrats. Keep reading »

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