In his memoir, Undisputed Truth, Mike Tyson revealed that he used a fake penis with someone else’s clean urine to pass drug tests. Chelsea Handler, being Chelsea Handler, wanted to know all the details. Here’s Tyson explaining how he used a fake dick connected to a jock strap to hide his drug use, which apparently was not very difficult because the drug tester usually doesn’t stare at your junk while you submit your sample. Also, it can’t be used like a dildo. Well. That is more than I wanted to know about the penis of a convicted rapist. Er, fake penis. [YouTube.com/ChelseaLately]
Jen Kirkman is a comedian on “Chelsea Lately” and “After Lately.” This post was reprinted with permission from her Tumblr.
I’m on a Twitter strike. I am so sick of the way men on Twitter treat lady comics. And my male friends always DM me or text me or email me or talk to me about how they hate it too but they never speak up.
I am constantly tweeting about gay rights (I’m straight) and racism (I’m white). It takes two seconds and it’s part of who I am. My male comedy friends show support by suggesting that I just let it slide, “these people are idiots/trolls.” But I don’t see it as “trolls” — these are actual men who are showing me that their opinion is that a woman is acting “hysterical” when she reacts to being treated unfairly. Suddenly I am not funny or fun. My male comedy friends sometimes lament that they want to support and that they hate how they see their women friends being treated on line but “but don’t know what to say.” Keep reading »
Jennifer Aniston and Chelsea Handler are homies, so when Chelsea brought up Jen’s engagement to Justin Theroux on a recent episode of “Chelsea Lately,” the actress’s cool facade came down. Fanning her face as very real tears brimmed in her eyes, Jen is clearly super stoked to be tying the knot. I don’t blame her and not just because she found love and all that good stuff — after so many years of the press hounding her, who wouldn’t shed a tear over no longer being Hollywood’s “saddest” single woman?
To celebrate their good friend Chelsea Handler’s new studio, famous lady friends Gwyneth Paltrow and Cameron Diaz sent Chelsea a special (very, very special) video. A rap video. That they made. It is … terrible. [Buzzfeed]
Chelsea Handler and Gloria Steinem have been hanging out and I’m never invited. It’s cool. I’m not, like, devastated or anything. But I’m just saying, if Arianna Huffington walked up to Chelsea at a Forbes 100 Most Powerful Women event and lectured her how she’s “so maternal” and “needs” to have children, I would have had Chelsea’s back, too. Chelsea and Gloria and I can be “CGJ,” — sort of like “MVP” but feminist and smart and awesome. [E! Online] Keep reading »
On Monday, Chelsea Handler tweeted, “Elizabeth Banks is on tonight’s show, so all my dreams have come true; I can now say I’ve interviewed myself.” Sure they do look a bit alike in that both-have-shoulder-length-blonde-hair-and-angular-faces way, but apparently people confuse them all the time? In last night’s interview, Chelsea divulged that the comparison isn’t always flattering. Chelsea explained, “People always say they look alike, but Chelsea is obviously much later. Meanwhile, we’re the same age.” Elizabeth shared that it goes both ways for her too. “I was sitting in Toronto and a guy walked up to me and said, ‘My girlfriend loves you. She would die if I got your autograph.’ I was like, ‘Sweet. Cool.’ He said, ‘I just love your books, My Horizontal Life.’ I was like, ‘Oh, he thinks he’s meeting Chelsea Handler.’ I couldn’t ruin it for him. He asked, ‘What are you doing in town?’ So I said, ‘I’m on a book tour.’ Just being Chelsea, drinking my vodka.” [LA Times] Keep reading »
“I want to do something that’s going to utilize my brain a little more than this show. If ['Chelsea Lately'] is the show that I’m going to do, it’s going to change. But it may turn out that I’m done with it altogether. I can’t keep doing the same thing; my brain is bleeding. I want to do something that’s more mindful and isn’t celebrity-centered. I’m not looking to totally bail on E! They’ve done a lot for me, and I like it here. If you take away the Kardashians.”
—Chelsea Handler talks to The Hollywood Reporter about what she hopes will happen now that her contract with E! is creeping towards finished. The network is trying hard to extend her contract, but Chelsea says she hasn’t been so impressed with their counter-offers and it sure sounds like she’s ready for a big change. But she swears it isn’t ‘The Tonight Show.’ “That’s a job for Jimmy Fallon. I’m way too divisive for a show like that,” she says. At least she is self-aware? [THR] Keep reading »
Actress Eva Mendes
has a lot in common with the host of “Chelsea Lately.” Apart from sharing a taste for shoes with really super-high heels, both Mendes and Chelsea Handler
admit they have an aversion to getting married.
Mendes believes in true love and spiritual unions and all that good stuff — she’s just not into having a piece of paper to seal the deal. “We were doing it for land originally. I mean, how unromantic is that?” she asked.
“Well,” replied the ever-practical Handler, “if we were doing it for land now I’d probably be more interested.” Read more… Keep reading »
Gwyneth Paltrow apparently didn’t do any knitting with grandma. When she appeared on “Chelsea Lately” this week, she and Chelsea Handler talked about their respective German grandmas. Gwyneth apparently called her mom’s mom “Mutti” and not in a good way. “My grandmother was a real c**t,” she said. “She basically hated my guts. She tried to poison my mother against me, but it didn’t work because I have a great mother. She was just tough, just tough. You look back and you think she must not have been very happy and she must have had a lot of pain because she was mean as hell.” Wow, using the c-word on someone who’s dead? Harsh. [Huffington Post] Keep reading »