SLOW CLAP for Chelsea Handler, who appeared as a guest on “Piers Morgan Live” last night and tore the obnoxious host a new asshole for being a terrible interviewer (we’ve noticed…) with an attention problem all while cameras were rolling. It seems that Chelsea wasn’t particularly happy with Piers’ condescending tone or the fact that during the commercial break he rudely began tweeting from his phone rather than engaging with her. ”This is your show,” she said when he implied she wasn’t interesting him. “You have to pay attention to the guests that you invited on your show. It doesn’t matter how interesting I am. You signed up for this job. … Maybe that’s why your job is coming to an end.” Don’t let the door hit you on the way out, Piers! [Refinery 29]
In his memoir, Undisputed Truth, Mike Tyson revealed that he used a fake penis with someone else’s clean urine to pass drug tests. Chelsea Handler, being Chelsea Handler, wanted to know all the details. Here’s Tyson explaining how he used a fake dick connected to a jock strap to hide his drug use, which apparently was not very difficult because the drug tester usually doesn’t stare at your junk while you submit your sample. Also, it can’t be used like a dildo. Well. That is more than I wanted to know about the penis of a convicted rapist. Er, fake penis. [YouTube.com/ChelseaLately]
Did anyone know they were? Apparently rumors were swirling that the former Monica Gellar and and the late-night queen of crass were feuding over Jen Aniston’s upcoming bachelorette party. Well, according to Ms. Handler, who had Jen on “Chelsea Lately” this week to promote her new movie, “We Are The Millers,” she and Courteney barely even know each other. Also, Jen’s totally not even having a bachelorette party. Sorry, gossip magazines — your story was shut down before anyone even knew about it. [The Huffington Post] [Photos: Getty Images]
Jennifer Aniston and Chelsea Handler are homies, so when Chelsea brought up Jen’s engagement to Justin Theroux on a recent episode of “Chelsea Lately,” the actress’s cool facade came down. Fanning her face as very real tears brimmed in her eyes, Jen is clearly super stoked to be tying the knot. I don’t blame her and not just because she found love and all that good stuff — after so many years of the press hounding her, who wouldn’t shed a tear over no longer being Hollywood’s “saddest” single woman?
To celebrate their good friend Chelsea Handler’s new studio, famous lady friends Gwyneth Paltrow and Cameron Diaz sent Chelsea a special (very, very special) video. A rap video. That they made. It is … terrible. [Buzzfeed]
“I so didn’t, and I so don’t care about you asking about it.”
– That is Chelsea Handler‘s response to a journalist for Marie Claire @Work asking her about the rumor — legend? slur? — that she only got her show “Chelsea Lately” because she was dating the former head of E! Want to see me become irrationally angry and start breathing fire out of my nose? Suggest Handler only got her show because she slept her way to the top. I have a torn a new asshole on many a buffoon who has dared suggest that luck, talent, hard work and savvy had nothing to do with it. Her bestselling books? Her (since-cancelled) sitcom? Her comedy tours? Her roundtable of comics — like Whitney Cummings — getting their own shows? Her ex-boyfriend’s penis must have been pretty damn magical to make all that happen. Keep reading »
Chelsea Handler has never hidden the fact she became pregnant at age 16 and had an abortion. But this is the first I’ve heard her describe the circumstances in more detail, like how it was her parents who encouraged her against becoming a teen mom. “They were, like, you’re getting an abortion,” Chelsea told Rosie O’Donnell on “The Rosie Show.” “I was trying to argue with them and they said, ‘you don’t understand, you’re throwing your entire life away, you’re not having a child right now, this is not what our family is about. You’re supposed to create a life for yourself. You’re supposed to enjoy your life and create a life for yourself. You’re not supposed to be raising a child and we’re certainly not going to raise it for you.’” Keep reading »