I’m heading to Portland this week, and me and Winona have plans to get brunch. Do you get brunch? It’s practically an Olympic sport in Brooklyn and, says Winona, Portland. There’s the waiting, and the outfits, and the hangovers and the drinking and eating. So much stuff goes into brunch! Brunch, brunch, brunch! As such, I’ve created a pie chart, delineating about how brunch typically goes, in case you feel like you’re missing out.
My disdain, nay, my utter revulsion for James Franco is well documented on this site. But it seems that there is a dark horse waiting in the wings, ready to pry the douche-prize right out of Franco’s well-oiled hands. Yes, Shia LaBeouf, who today, it was revealed, quit a play in which he was to costar with Alec Baldwin. Not only did LaBeouf unceremoniously quit due to “creative differences” with the director (which is a nice way of saying he was difficult), but LaBeouf then proceeded to tweet out apologies to Baldwin for leaving the production. Sweet, right? Except the apology was lifted directly from a 2009 Esquire article entitled “How To Be A Man.”
“A man can tell you he was wrong. That he did wrong. That he planned to. He can tell you when he is lost. He can apologize, even if sometimes it’s just to put an end to the bickering.” wrote LaBeouf, I mean Esquire’s Tom Chiarella.
So let’s take a look and compare LaBeouf’s encroaching doucheiness to Franco’s well-established d-bag card.
Girl, you better not let the lawyers on “Law & Order” try your case, because you’ll likely either end up guilty or serving time. All told, the “L&O” crew have an 80 percent success rate. The obsessives over at Overthinking It created a very complete catalog of all the verdicts over the history of the show. They also took a look at the outcomes per season, and the number of “not guilty” verdicts dished out over the series’ 20 year history. That is a lot of Lenny Briscoe in your face. [Overthinking It]
So much Halloween candy, so little time. We’ve created a handy little guide to the best and worst (WAX LIPS, UGH) candy out there (and the likelihood that you’ll get it while trick-or-treating). Agree? Disagree? Tell us in the comments!
Our recipe for an ideal summer weekend is pretty simple. In fact, it only requires two ingredients: a beach and a book. But what exactly are the components of a truly great beach read? Let’s break it down…
The other day, I was stuck in a k-hole (aka a hangover) and watched, like, 7,000 episodes of “The Real Housewives of New Jersey.” I then topped it off with some “Mad Men” and had a revelation: Teresa Giudice of “RHONJ” — she of the bankruptcy troubles and the ostentatious house, and the feud with sister-in-law Melissa Gorga — is just like “Mad Men”‘s meanie mom Betty Draper! They’re both grown ass children who try and manipulate everybody around them. Don’t believe me? Check out this handy comparative chart.
Every year I look forward to summer’s vivid, unabashed nail polish shades, but this season’s selections are especially blazing — eye-searing, in fact. We’ve been seeing a major upswing in all things neon since winter, and colors just keep getting brighter and brighter. Where fashion goes, nails follow suit, and isn’t it wonderful? Nothing yanks me out of my summer up-all-night stupor in the morning like a huge iced coffee and a flash of neon. I’m actually a religious wearer of flesh-toned fingernails, but my toes are all about the flashiest of pinks and oranges come mid-May. Here are my top ten must-wear shades for the summertime (and beyond, if you’re brave). For best results and maximum impact, pair with all-white and a contrasting neon lip color. The sun will thank you for taking some of the heat off.
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For the record, the upcoming movie “Premium Rush” — about what appears to be parody of a bike messenger — looks kind of terrible. But it stars My Fantasy Dream Boyfriend Joseph Gordon-Levitt, so I’ll have to watch it on DVD eventually. But here’s a breakdown of his hipster tendencies in the movie (and hey, probably in real life) anyway. [NYMag.com]
I’m getting a haircut tonight, so I’m about start this annoying cycle all over again. It never ends!