Charlie Sheen has now transitioned from genuinely saying crazy things in televised interviews to spoofing himself saying crazy things in Funny or Die videos. While in the kitchen at “Sober Valley Lodge” — presumably Sheen’s own swanky kitchen, judging by the pics of little girls on the fridge? — Sheen shows us how to prepare a meal with magic hands and brain power. Hmm, the Food Network might be the only television channel this sorry chump’s mug hasn’t been plastered all over. [Funny Or Die] Keep reading »
Move over, Four Loko — there’s a new drink in town to facilitate poor decisions. Tiger Blood, a limited time $4-a-pop energy drink by the makers of Love Energy Potion and other classy beverages, is here to keep you WINNING. Full of chipped warlock fangs and Adonis DNA, the fruit punch flavored energy drink allows you to “take more drugs than anyone can survive. Be different, have a different brain, and a different heart. When you feel Tiger Blood in your veins, you’ll realize dying’s for fools and that can’t is the cancer of happen. Period. The end.” (Or, um, not.) While Charlie Sheen is not in any way affiliated with Tiger Blood, I’m sure it receives his full stamp of approval. [Oh No They Didn't! via Harcos Labs] Keep reading »
File this under “people sure are crazy.” On Monday, Charlie Sheen tweeted, “I’m looking to hire a #winning INTERN with #TigerBlood… we want you on #TeamSheen as our social media #TigerBloodIntern!” Sheen asked interested parties to write a 75-word essay (which, really, is that an essay?) to be considered for the gig. Forty-eight hours later, more than 74,000 people have applied.
But apparently, this whole thing may just be a publicity stunt. Shocking! Keep reading »
Earlier today, when I heard that Michaele Salahi had been dropped from “Celebrity Rehab” for not having an addiction, I wondered if maybe she was on another kind of substance—say tiger’s blood, Adonis DNA, or a drug called … Michaele Salahi. Because sometimes I think she is as looney tunes as our dear Charlie Sheen. This got me thinking how amazing—in a tabloid way—it would be if she decided to leave Tareq and move across the country to live with Charlie in his Sober Valley Lodge.
Which then got me thinking—especially with Rachel Oberlin (aka Bree Olson) leaving the fold for a minute over the weekend—of all the famous women who would make great goddesses in Charlie’s polyamorous love story? After the jump, 12 ladies we’d like to see join Charlie’s harem. Keep reading »
Charlie Sheen may think he’s “winning,” but one thing he’s certainly lost is his contract with “Two and a Half Men.” CBS and Warner Bros. Television have announced that they have officially fired the trouble actor from the hit TV show, which went on hiatus for the rest of the season following Sheen’s incredibly public meltdown. That meltdown shows no signs of stopping and CBS execs have clearly tired of Sheen’s shenanigans. So, how long before the public tires as well? Though Sheen reached two million followers on Twitter less than a week after joining the social networking site, there are already signs that the public is getting bored, perhaps because the media has been absolutely saturated with 24/7 Sheen coverage. The Village Voice has declared this Friday to be “Unfollow Charlie Sheen On Twitter Day.” Keep reading »
“Hey Neighbor, I think I might have Tigerblood and I’m definitely winning! Huge! … Can’t wait to see Sheen’s corner!”
—Paris Hilton is apparently following the Charlie Sheen saga very closely. Over the weekend, she addressed a tweet to him, along with a winky face emoticon. Maybe she’s just excited not to be the person the tabloids are making fun of? Or maybe she’s interested because she’s friends with Brooke Mueller, who appears in her new reality show, “The World According to Paris”? Hmmm. “Sheen’s corner,” by the way, refers to the live show Sheen put on this weekend on UStream — which failed to impress, uh, the people who are actually impressed by Sheen’s antics. [People] Keep reading »
“I chipped one of my warlock fangs on a great white shark I had to murder. Pissed me off and like an ass I took it out on her.”
– Charlie Sheen explains to TMZ what caused the temporary breakup between him and goddess/girlfriend Bree Olson/Rachel Oberlin last night. Chipped warlock fangs aside, it’s not the slightest bit surprising that Charle Sheen continues to take his anger out on the women in his life. Read more here. Keep reading »
Last night at Sober Valley Lodge, Charlie Sheen announced via his Guinness World Record-breaking Twitter, Bree Olson aka Rachel Oberlin left the building. No reasons were given for her sudden departure, but no matter! As the goddesses are totally disposable and easily replaced, Sheen announced he was taking applications. But then! Bree/Rachel returned! And all was well again, with all three parts of Charlie’s heart full. This is like a really f**ked up fairy tale, huh? [TMZ] Keep reading »
“I’ve always felt that a man should be able to be with as many women as he likes. I’ve never had the opportunity to share that with any man before because, honestly, I don’t think I’ve ever been with a man who was even deserving of that. Charlie is a great man and he can provide the lifestyle to accommodate a relationship such as what the three of us have. He has totally taken me aback by what a wonderful person he is, how open and honest he is.”
— Rachel Oberlin/the porn star “Bree Olsen,” 24, one of Charlie Sheen‘s “goddesses,” i.e. live-in girlfriends, defends their polyamorous lifestyle. His other girlfriend is Natalie Kenly, 24, also called “Natty.” Frankly, I don’t see why everyone is making such a big to-do about Charlie shacking up with two babes. Hasn’t Hugh Hefner being doing that for … decades? (Someone get this man a bathrobe!) I wonder how Rachel thinks a man who’s been arrested for domestic violence as recently as last year is “deserving” of this accommodation, though. [Oh No They Didn't!] Keep reading »
To those of you too busy reading about the historic uprisings in the Middle East, let me catch you up really quickly on the ongoing turmoil in the faraway country of Charlie Sheen. The millionaire sitcom star has been publicly self-destructing. Years of alleged substance abuse, marital problems and bizarre behaviors have, apparently, climaxed. Over the past week or so, he has seemingly divided like a cell into multiple versions of himself and simultaneously appeared on every live television talk show currently being produced. But like most modern celebrity scandals, the personal immolation we’re witnessing isn’t really about the vaguely human celebrity whose antics and flaws and outrageous moral lapses are beamed from dozens of differently shaped boxes directly to our brains. Keep reading »