hey, you desperate guzzler of stagnant douche agua;
I truly do not recall giving you permission to globally reveal any communication between us. congrats on surviving your lobotomy and an even bigger congratz on the recent attempt at porn.
your daughter must be so proud.
please send my number to middle earth and if allowed, eagerly follow it into said abyss and slam the door behind you. the world will collectively sigh as the pungent memory of you vanishes into the pedestrian troposphere of lame-suck and zero-life.
oh and I’m sure they’ll wave the cover charge when they see your tranny-boobs and five o’clock shadow. bye!
– Charlie Sheen may totally be the worst, but damn if he didn’t write the best kiss-off email ever. This is the note he sent to “Back Door Teen Mom” Farrah Abraham, after she allegedly sold screenshots of the text messages they exchanged to TMZ. Not loving the “tranny-boobs” remark (let’s leave trans people out of this, okay, Carlos?), but “desperate guzzler of stagnant douche agua’ and “pedestrian troposphere of lame-suck and zero-life” is pure poetry. [TMZ]
The breakdown of Charlie Sheen will be making VH1 countdowns for decades. It was impossible to look away from—a perfect collision of drugs, porn stars, alcohol abuse, public drunkenness, and use of social media. We got an inside look at the undoing of one of the highest paid stars in TV history. I thought that Charlie would disappear from the face of the earth after that, but he has actually stayed on the radar and seems to be doing pretty well—by his standards. But the former “Two and a Half Men” star is still looking to fill a void: the goddess void.
After his crazed episode, Charlie found himself goddess-less. But the position may be soon filled; National Enquirer reports in the print edition that Charlie “is in hot pursuit of Lindsay [Lohan]. He wants her to be his new goddess.” Read more…
Well, if you believe the rumors, Robert Pattinson has apparently decided to forgive Kristen Stewart for cheating on him with married director Rupert Sanders — and I, for one, am glad to hear it. In fact, I hope that the media and fans of the “Twilight” series get over it sooner rather than later too. In this first episode (UPDATE: Now presented in one long streaming video, without ad breaks and viewable on mobile devices) of our soon-to-be regular web series, “We’re Begging You,” I go off — and, spoiler alert, mime a double hand job! – about why everyone should just leave Kristen Stewart alooooooone! Check it out above and I look forward to hearing what you think — about the topic and the video itself — in the comments!
Does Brooke Mueller not realize the cultural paradox she’s evoking by wearing a clearly Native American-inspired ensemble with an American flag draped over it? Does her comprehension of our country’s history only extend to a fifth-grade level? Wait, don’t answer that, answer this: is Brooke Mueller potentially crazier than Charlie Sheen? [Photo: Bauer-Griffin]