When the news broke last night that Avril Lavigne was engaged to be married to Chad Kroeger, lead singer of Nickelback, aka The Band That Everyone Hates, the world let out a collective, “Wait, what?” and the internet exploded with unanswered questions: Was this Canada’s version of a practical joke? What happened to Brody Jenner? Would their wedding colors be black and pale? But the question that ultimately drowned out all the others, the real heart of the debate, was just one word long, accompanied by an incredulous head tilt: “Him?” Chad Kroeger, it seems, was Avril’s Ann Veal.
As a lover of Nickelback, I feel it is my duty to clear some things up, because not only is Avril one lucky lady to be committing her life to Chad Kroeger, I am totally jealous that Chad didn’t ask me to marry him instead. Here’s why… Keep reading »
Okay, not really, but this is how we imagine the newly engaged couple – ChAvril LaKroeger, as we’re calling them – will dress for the big day. Him in a custom Justin Timberlake-inspired Canadian Tuxedo, and her in full Ed Hardy regalia. It’s a match made in tacky!
Breaking news out of Canada tonight: Avril Lavigne, perpetually pouty singer of such hits as “Sk8er Boi,” and Chad Kroeger, lead singer of Nickelback and crooner of such romantic classics as “Something In Your Mouth,” have just announced that they are engaged. Apparently the two bonded back in February while co-writing a song for Lavigne’s upcoming album, and dated under the radar until Kroeger popped the question with a 14-carat diamond ring on August 8th. I met Chad a couple months ago at a Nickelback concert (more on that later), and I can report that not only is he disconcertingly hot in person (seriously!), he’s also really sweet and I kind of secretly wanted to marry him and dance to an acoustic version of “Far Away” under the moonlight, so this news is a bit hard for me to take. Still, I guess congratulations are in order–a very shocked and confused and Canadian congratulations.
Also, for future reference, Amelia has christened the couple “ChAvril LaKroeger.” Stay tuned for updates on these crazy kids’ wedding plans! [People]