“I just said, “Look, Mommy and Daddy were massively in love, we videotaped everything—everything was videotaped—and you’re probably going hear about something at school.’‘’

—Pamela Anderson on how, when she found out there’d be a reference to it in Borat, told her 11- and 12-year-old boys about that sex tape with Tommy Lee. Sigh. If only Carrie Prejean could be so frank about her sex tapes, too! [Daily Mail]

Egyptologist Zahi Hawass is known for his outbursts. He reportedly speaks in Arabic while attending dinner events and other social gatherings so he can insult non-Egyptians, who he assumes don’t understand his language. And well-known celebrities aren’t off-limits. Earlier this week, Beyonce toured the Giza pyramids with Hawass, who reportedly became annoyed with her attitude because she didn’t show the pyramids the respect he thinks they deserve.

Sammy Sosa denied rumors that his lightened skin was the result of vitiligo during his Spanish interview on Univision’s “Primer Impacto” with Tony Dandrades Tuesday. When asked what was going on with his skin, the slugger responded: “I use a cream to keep my skin smooth and soft. I apply it before I go to bed. When I was playing for Chicago all those years, I was in the sun a lot for 1 o’clock games.” He wouldn’t say what type of face cream he uses or the name of it because he said he’s in negotiations to market the European product, but he did say he can’t stay in the sun too long when he uses it. I suspect he’s using the kind of skin-bleaching creams that are sold on the black market in many minority communities.

Miley Cyrus did another stupid teenager thing—she altered the lyrics in her song “7 Things” on the fly at her recent Louisville concert. She changed “you’re vain/you’re games” to “you’re vain/you’re gay.” She’s probably not a gay-bashing, homosexual agenda-fearing lady (she’s actually come out in support of gay marriage), like one Miss America Pageant runner-up we know, but it wasn’t a stellar moment either. She better watch out, or she’ll influence an entire generation of girls to use gay in the pejorative sense.

You loved her in “Lolita” and uh, whatever else she was in (hm…), but actress Dominique Swain just did a really, really bad thing that makes puppies cry. Not only was she lame enough to not get her dog fixed (what responsible pet owner in this day and age does that!?), but the cocker spaniel had a litter of eight puppies, and she decided to dump them at an already overburdened Malibu animal shelter. But wait, it gets worse: After driving up in her BMW and insisting they take the pups, workers there informed her that it was crucial that the animals be vaccinated, as puppies can easily die if they don’t get their shots at four and eight weeks. Her dogs were already eight weeks, but they had received none. When they agreed to take the poor creatures and suggested she make a donation to cover the cost of the shots, she claimed she was broke. (Well, like we said, we haven’t seen her in anything lately, but still ... animal shelters are broke, Dominique Swain is not.) And the cherry on top of this horrifying tale?

“Obama is really changing the White House, because he and Michelle will have the first presidential sex tape out.”

Yeah, you’re not the only one that didn’t find that Tracy Morgan joke funny. In fact, his performance at New York’s Carnegie Hall tanked last Friday because fans were expecting his comedy routine to be more in line with “30 Rock” character Tracy Jordan’s humor. You know, prime-time approved. But, instead, some audience members walked out as Tracy joked about homosexuality being “a choice,” drugs, pornography, and something he calls “politricks,” which, according to Urban Dictionary, are the tricks politicians play, but I think Tracy means something much raunchier. Middle-aged women were reportedly the most appalled when he started mimicking sex acts while on stage. He seemed to have no problem with his routine shocking audience members: “You want the clean Tracy? Turn on the TV.” [NY Daily News]

• Jennifer Lopez has won a temporary ban on ex-husband Ojani Noa’s satirical documentary about their short marriage, because he signed a confidentiality agreement. [Starpulse]—That could have been a really scandalous movie, but oh well.
• Tiffani “No Amber” Thiessen is pregnant by her actor husband, Brady Smith, and is due in May. [E! Online]—I knew she looked a little plump in that “White Collar” episode.

It’s not often that I agree with John Mayer, but even I have to admit he had a point when he tweeted: “If you’re shocked that Britney was lip-syncing at her concert and want your money back, life may continue to be hard for you.” You see, Britney Spears is on the Australia-leg of her “Circus” tour, and some fans and Australian government officials are upset that she lip-syncs during the performances. “It was so impersonal. She did not interact with her audience,” says dissatisfied fan Wendy Di Renzo, who told People she paid $148 for her ticket. “There were no big TV screens projecting the action, so if you didn’t know Britney, you might have even doubted it was her.” Australian press reported that fans walked out of her shows after a few songs, saying it was boring, mimed, and stiff. The Fair Trade Minister of New South Wales even suggested that concert tickets carry a disclaimer about whether artists lip-sync or prerecord parts of their concerts. But anyone who is a true Britney fan should know that she very rarely sings live during her performances. Her voice isn’t strong enough for her to sing while dancing and performing acrobatics, so fans have to decide whether they want to be visually entertained while hearing her music. And what fun is a pop music concert if the artist sits in a chair while singing the whole time? [Reuters, People]

Chris Brown sat down with Sway at MTV to discuss his assault of Rihanna on Feb. 8. He tries to portray himself as a changed man who is learning from his actions, even going as far as to say that he knows for certain he’ll never assault another woman and enjoys learning to control his anger in his domestic violence classes. But, I’m sorry to say, he never seems truly remorseful, except when discussing how this has negatively affected his career. He’s hardly humble, saying that his hecklers are just being “ignorant.” And he only pays lip service to the fact that healthy relationships aren’t violent. Towards the end, I got the feeling that Chris still has hopes he and Rihanna will get back together.

You can watch parts two and three of the interview here.

New photos of Sammy Sosa attending an awards event in Las Vegas hit the web over the weekend, and the former baseball slugger looked quite different, to say the least. His skin appeared to be several jarring shades lighter, causing some to speculate that he had bleached his skin like Michael Jackson was rumored to have done.

Chris Brown‘s camp, i.e. minuscule people we’ve never heard of, like dancers and friends, have responded to Rihanna‘s interview on “Good Morning America” yesterday and today, and not surprisingly, they claim she’s to blame for the assault. They say she lied during the interview and was a different person and that this is a ploy for her to sell more albums. Check out the ridiculous claims after the jump.

Rihanna is finally opening up about the physical abuse she suffered by ex-boyfriend Chris Brown in an interview with Glamour magazine. They interviewed Rihanna for their annual Women Of The Year issue, ostensibly to speak up for domestic violence survivors, which is a brave move for her to make. But honestly? Rihanna’s statement is of the “no, duh” variety and sounds like it was written/watered down by PR folks and lawyers.

“If I don’t want to put on underwear because I’m wearing a dress and don’t want you to see the panty lines, I don’t have a choice. I have to wear underwear. If I get caught not wearing underwear, after I’ve made fun of [Britney and Lindsay] who flash their hot pocket for the camera, then I’m the a**hole. So ... for the time being I own a lot of panties. If necessary, I’ll wear three or four pairs at once just to be safe.

—Chelsea Handler in Playboy

The Huffington Post recently introduced a new entertainment feature called The Big Picture, starring “unedited celebrity photos, blown up,” ostensibly so visitors can inspect the size of Lindsay Lohan, Elizabeth Hurley and Sting’s pores and comment on who could use a facial or plastic surgery. (Disclosure: I used to work at HuffPo.) “[The Big Picture is] a playful spin on our culture’s ongoing fascination with celebrity images,” a spokesperson told Portfolio.com. “Two days in, reader reaction has been largely positive.” Something tells me that reaction refers to a positive increase in website traffic for HuffPo, not positive commentary on body image. That’s a value Arianna Huffington appears to have hypocritically lauded in the very first chapter (“Fearless About The Body”) in her self-help book, On Becoming Fearless. Yes, airbrushing celebs and models is out of control, but zeroing in on “flaws” is no way to ease up on body-hating in our culture. But sadly, this isn’t new for HuffPo. [Portfolio]

“I would not have become a supermodel in 2009. I look too healthy.”

—Supermodel Cindy Crawford disses the 100-lb models who are en vogue right now. But what we really want to know is how kind would modeling agents of 2009 be to facial moles? [Telegraph UK]

Attention Levi Johnston: show us your wang in Playgirl or go back to your kid in Wasilla. We’re tired of you complaining publicly about Sarah Palin, especially since you don’t have any new dirt!

Beyonce has postponed an Oct. 25 performance in Malaysia after Muslim conservatives in that country accused her show of being “immoral.” The Pan-Malaysian Islamic Party, Malaysia’s largest opposition group, has called for the cancellation of the show because they say it would promote “Western sexy performances.” A statement released by Marctensia entertainment company says the decision to postpone was made solely by Beyonce. In 2007, she canceled a planned performance after protest threats from the Islamic opposition party, but said at the time it was a result of scheduling conflicts. Female performers in Malaysia are required by law to cover up from the shoulders to the knees, without any visible cleavage. And, last month, Marctensia said Beyonce and others involved had “come to an amicable understanding” about her performance costumes. (But the postponement suggests this wasn’t true.) If the problem here is Beyonce’s bedazzled leotards, we can’t wait to see the more conservative, body-covering versions she comes up with. Can Sasha be Fierce without showing off her legs, booty, and cleavage?

Another week, another Carrie Prejean eyeroll-worthy drama. The latest dirt? Our beloved ex-Miss California still owes $5,200 for a boob job paid for by pageant organizer K2 Productions, according to a lawsuit filed yesterday. K2 said it foot the bill for plastic surgery at Prejean’s behest, so she could “be more competitive” in the 2009 Miss USA pageant, and she hasn’t honored a verbal agreement to pay them back. (Verbal agreement? Get it in writing, people!)

Jessica Simpson really hasn’t had a great year. First, Tony Romo dumped her the day before her Barbie and Ken-themed birthday party, and then she witnessed a coyote snatching her beloved maltipoo, Daisy. Recently, meaning just last Sunday, she was the subject of a Fox and Burger King ad that aired during “Fox NFL Sunday.” In the ad, as you can see above, a few Dallas Cowboys players mock Tony for dating Jessica because she’s so fat. Both Fox and Burger King have released statements regarding the ad. Read them after the jump.

There’s a new round of fallout from David Letterman’s affair and blackmail scandal.

After the “Late Show” host admitted to affairs with staff—including an alleged affair with former intern Stephanie Birkitt—Connecticut’s Quinnipiac University is re-evaluating its relationship with the show. Here’s what a Quinnipiac representative told TMZ:

“Due to recent circumstances we will have a discussion with those in charge of placing our interns at the David Letterman show in the future. We will diligently oversee this internship program to ensure that our interns are out of harm’s way.”

Letterman’s camp hasn’t commented on the Quinnipiac decision. [People]