• Tila Tequila gets nakey and rants about ex-boyfriend Shawne Merriman on her live Ustream page. [NY Daily News]—Let’s hope she just had too much tequila and not a full-on meltdown.
• Can you tell the difference between Sarah Palin’s Going Rogue and Danielle Steel’s No. 1 bestselling novel Rogue? Take the Daily Beast’s quiz to find out. [The Daily Beast]
• Adult film star Sasha Grey has written about Governor Mark Sanford‘s “Appalachian Adventure” on Newsweek‘s 20/10 blog. [20/10]—She should be able to tell when a guy is lying or faking.

Jude Law is an accomplished actor, infamous cheater, impregnator of some random model in Florida, and now, a fruit thrower. Law has been performing onstage in “Hamlet” in New York City recently and he rented an apartment in downtown Manhattan. It just so happens his swank bachelor pad is right next to an NYU freshman dormitory, Hayden Hall, with a balcony in full view of the students. An incredible crib like this probably rents for close to $10,000 a month (no, I’m not kidding), which would explain why Law got pissy when freshmen called out to him from their bedroom windows.

“A lot of female-to-male transgender people end up doing a stint in the lesbian community because it just kind of makes sense,” he says. “At 13, 14, I was real clear at that point that I was attracted to women. So I was like, ‘I’m attracted to women, I am a woman, I guess I’m a lesbian.’ ... Who you’re attracted to has nothing to do with gender identity. A lot of people find that really confusing, but they’re two completely different things. One is how you view yourself and how you feel, and the other one is who you’re attracted to.”

—Chaz Bono spoke to “Good Morning America” yesterday in his first live interview since beginning his gender reassignment eight months ago. [E! Online]

Ceaseless listmaker Forbes Magazine has rolled out yet another roundup and this one is about Hollywood’s most overpaid stars. Forbes’ peeps looked at how much each flick made compared to the celeb’s salary. We weren’t surprised to see that only one of the top 10 overpaid stars was a woman—Drew Barrymore. Obvs! Women have a lot of problems in this world, but getting overpaid is not one of them. Will Ferrell came in at numero uno because his last movie made a measly $3.29 for every dollar he was paid. After the jump, the other uber-paid offenders.

What does a teen heartthrob do when he gets bored with giving hugs, shaking hands, and signing body parts? Why, he tells his fans to strip, of course. Robert Pattinson visited Ellen DeGeneres yesterday for a show that will air tomorrow and said he got burned out during a recent marathon autograph-signing session while on a promotional blitz for “New Moon.” “You kind of get ten seconds with each person and you never really say anything ... I kind of got bored,” Pattinson explained. So when one female fan asked how she could get his attention, he had a novel idea. “I was like, um, just take your clothes off.” The fan began stripping. “She stood there and frantically started taking her clothes off and got dragged out of the room by security,” Pattinson says. “I never felt more terrible ... I sound like I’m actually just abusing my position.” Something tells me the female fan in question is happy just to have a story to tell her friends. [via Us Weekly]

Carrie Underwood is enjoying her hunky hockey boyfriend Mike Fisher, but announced on “The Ellen DeGeneres Show” that she has no intention of sharing a love nest. “No, call me old-fashioned. He’s there. I’m here. We’re both doing our thing and it’s good,” she said. “The next guy I move in with will be my hubby. Whoever that is. I’m not saying it’s going to be him.” [People]

I’m totally with Carrie on this one. I’m not going to bother cohabiting with a guy unless I’m positive that we’re getting married. It’s hard enough breaking up with roommates and moving out—I can’t even imagine dealing with the emotional entanglement that comes with love. Here are some other celebs who won’t give up their bachelor/ette pads, either.

Totally awesome blind item time! (Regarding the one I posted the other day—I have no idea who it is, dudes.) Here we go:

This A list female celebrity chef was overheard in a restaurant the other day. Nothing unusual about that right? I mean people are nosy and we strain our ears. Well, it turns out this celebrity chef who is married was discussing an affair she recently had with this B list male singer with A list name recognition and reputation. She wasn’t shy about discussing the details either. I mean explicit, graphic details about what the two did to each other. Nothing out of the ordinary, but definitely not shy in recounting every last act. It does appear to have been a one time thing, but this is totally not what you expect from our chef and the image she tries to portray to the public.

OK, most of the webiverse will want to kill me for admitting this ... but I just don’t get the “Twilight” obsession. I read the first book just to see what the hullabaloo was about and thought it was thoroughly “eh.” I’m not interested in reading the others, or following K-Stew and R-Patz’s are-they-or-aren’t-they drama, or lining up for a midnight showing of “New Moon” tomorrow night. And Miley Cyrus may be the only celeb on the planet who feels the same way as I do! In a recent interview with a Cleveland radio station, Miley said of the “Twilight” films, “I’ve never seen [them] and nor will I ever. I don’t believe in it. I don’t like vampires. I don’t like the wolf that pops out of the screen when I’m watching my TV at night. I don’t want anything to do with it.” I hear ya sister! [PopEater]

That said, I know that many of you out there are Twihards. And most celebs are with you—they will be there opening night ... with fangs on. After the jump, the stars who can’t wait for “New Moon.”

Here’s some advice, ladies. If you’re taking up with a tabloid sensation—like, oh, Jon Gosselin—it’s probably not a good idea for the two of you to handwrite a contract to each other as a way of foreplay. Radar Online has posted a contract that was supposedly composed and signed by Jon and Kate Major during one of their hotel trysts. In the contract, Kate II specifies that “I, Kate Major, will run any media inquires past Jon Gosselin” and “will not make any negative or disparaging remarks.” In return, Jon pledged that, “I, Jon Gosselin, will employ Kate Major as a personal assistant” and “[she] will receive a percentage of accounts.” Radar says that Kate plans to sue Jon based on this super legally airtight doc. Also complicated—that Kate was recently subpoenaed to testify in TLC’s law suit against Jon. If she tells the truth, can that be considered a disparaging remark? Honestly, I just don’t know whether to believe this thing is real. It’s basically scrawled on a cocktail napkin. [Radar]

Ladies, we have this habit of assuming an actor is just like his most famous character. Take Robert Pattinson for instance, with his rumored body odor and greasy hair. Would we think he was so hot if we weren’t imagining him as a sparkly, rock-hard, ferocious-when-necessary vampire? Doubtful. And he continues to bust our bubble by insisting he’s really not a romantic person in real life. “I haven’t done that many romantic things in my life,” he said at a press conference. Rob admitted to putting a flower in a girl’s locker when he was a teen, but said she thought it was another guy, and he let the wrong guy take credit for the romantic gesture. He also said he would never serenade a woman, even though he’s a musician. “Oh, no! I don’t think that would ever be romantic. You need to have so much balls to do that. Jesus Christ! I actually can’t think of a single romantic thing I’ve ever done. That’s terrible,” he added. No, that’s not terrible; that’s wimpy. I guess, we’ll have to continue to envision Edward Cullen watching us sleep, instead. [Starpulse]

It’s Wednesday, and is it just me, or has work been especially hard as we head towards the calorific holiday season? Just be glad that you won’t be critiqued by millions on your pecan pie-induced weight gain, and when you get too drunk at the office party, you won’t have to read about it on the cover of a magazine the next day. Celebrities aren’t so lucky. But their pain is our gain because their (possibly fictional) dramas are usually more interesting than anything we could make up on our own. And because we love you so much, we’ve read every tabloid that came out today and hand-picked the juiciest stories. Enjoy!

• More out-of-control Lindsay Lohan behavior: this time, she apparently tried to scam clothes during a recent Kitson appearance. [Fox News]—Another day, another cry for help from La Lohan. Poor dear.
• Test your knowledge of Victorian era sexual slang. [TresSugar]—You’ll learn just how “gay” the Gay ‘90s were.
• A German model was charged with trying to extort $100,000 from Cindy Crawford and her husband after threatening to release a stolen photo to the tabloids. [L.A. Times]

For those of us who have a gay boyfriend in our lives, we know how to gross them out in five seconds flat. I have a list of words that I know I can say to mine that will make him squirm and run around the room, screaming like a school girl—vagina, p**sy, c**t, clit, moist. My favorite line of questioning with my gay boyfriend is about the one time in college that he had drunken sex with a girl before he was out. Each time I press him for details he says things like, “I don’t really remember,” or “I only put it in there for a second,” or “Ewwwwwwww!” His experience of straight sex is not unlike Adam Lambert’s recent account in Out magazine. When asked about performing oral sex on a woman, he gave this eloquent description of the experience:

“It was a little gross because I don’t think she was as clean as she could’ve been. It wasn’t the act of it that really turned me off. I don’t really remember. I was 18 and I was drunk.”

The Simpson sisters have truly got each other’s backs. First Jessica dissed “Melrose Place” for ditching Ashlee. Now Ashlee’s telling all the folks who criticized Jessica’s weight which way is up. In the most recent issue of Women’s Health, she said, “My sister has an incredible body. I feel sorry for anyone who would judge her, because she’s one sexy lady.” [Examiner]

It’s really sweet that they stand by each other. I wish I had someone to do damage control on my weight gains for me. Thankfully, for these celebrities, their siblings are ready to throw punches on their behalf.

• Janet Jackson‘s life hasn’t been scrutinized as much as Michael‘s, but there are some interesting rumors that turned out to be true. [PopEater]—I don’t know about y’all, but I still believe the one about her child with James DeBarge.
• Forever 21 is starting a lifestyle, fashion, and beauty magazine that’s slated to launch this Friday. [Black Book]—I wonder if “lifestyle” includes the religion of the parent company?
• More Afghani women have access to birth control pills, but they still hide it from their husbands. [TrèsSugar]—This is one bittersweet situation when you consider the consequences for some Muslim women who disobey their husbands.

This “blind item” from Blind Gossip is so juicy that I can’t resist posting it here, in hopes you guys might have a theory as to who it’s about. Ready to put on your thinking caps?

“These two celebrity couples aren’t super close friends in public, but it’s clear that they know each other. Everyone knows that the male half of Couple A used to work with the female half of Couple B over a period of time. Yes, we know, there were rumors flying around at the time that those two were involved in an off-screen fling. Although it was good publicity for the project, it’s not true. But there was something more insidious going on behind the scenes. Something that didn’t make the tabloids…”

“I’m from Hackney, so I’m hard. I’m not going to let something like that bother me There was always some kind of craziness going on in my neighborhood ... It’s horrible, no matter who you are, to be physically attacked by someone, but I’m not letting it worry me. I know it was an isolated incident. It’s just a shame it happened at all. I’m now trying to put it in the past and get over it. I’m a positive person and I try to look at the good side of everything.”

—Leona Lewis in an exclusive interview with The Sun discusses being attacked at a book signing earlier this year