By now you’ve probably heard about how Justin Timberlake sang his new bride Jessica Biel down the aisle with a special song. That’s really nice and all, but we think it would have been so much more hilarious if he had sang one of his classic songs instead. After all, Justin and Jessica are total jokesters — a couple of their friends recorded a video featuring homeless people around Los Angeles wishing the couple well — hilarious! So we’ve compiled a list of wedding song alternatives.
Like, for instance: Keep reading »
So, Justin Timberlake and Jessica Biel got married today, and they are both really pretty and talented (okay, he’s really talented, and she’s really pretty). But you know what? We can’t get a boner up for this. They might just be the most dull celeb couple ever. Timberlake called his lady “a really, really, really special person,” which is nice, you know? But also so dispassionate-sounding. I mean, longterm, this probably bodes well for their marriage, but who among us wasn’t secretly hoping that JT would eventually get back together with Britney Spears? Now that’s passion. [People]
Well, the love story of Kim Kardashian and, uh, that one guy whose name we barely bothered to remember, has come to a conclusion. Kardashian is filing for divorce, allegedly because her basketball playing husband, Kris Humphries, wanted to live in Minnesota, while she, of course, cannot imagine leaving the paparazzi-filled streets of Hollywood. Kardashian released a statement, saying:
After careful consideration, I have decided to end my marriage. I hope everyone understands this was not an easy decision. I had hoped this marriage was forever, but sometimes things don’t work out as planned. We remain friends and wish each other the best.
Indeed, it probably wasn’t in the plan to end their marriage quite this soon, but Kim luckily has nearly $18 million in crisp dollar bills she made off the wedding to mop up her tears. (Unless, of course, she actually decides to follow any of our suggestions and donates her bounty to a good cause.)
Married for only 72 days, Kim’s (second!) marriage joins a long line of short celeb marriages. Keep clicking to see some of the other speedy celebrity marriages that met an early demise.
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I don’t know much about weddings, but one thing I do know, to quote Anthony, Charlotte’s main gay on “Sex and the City,” is that when it comes to the dress, “you go Wang.” And if anyone is going to have the best of the best on their wedding day, it’s Kim Kardashian. When the reality TV star married Kris Humphries last month, she wore not one, not two, but three Vera Wang gowns. That’s the strapless ball gown she wore for the ceremony, above, and then she changed into two other dresses (also ivory) over the course of the night. You’ll be able to get a much closer look at their wedding during E!’s “Kim’s Fairytale Wedding: A Kardashian Event” special this Sunday at 8 p.m. and Monday at 9 p.m.
Until then, click through this slideshow of a bunch of famous brides who wore Wang to walk down the aisle. Keep reading »
I wasn’t sure at first why Kim Kardashian and Kris Humphries were inspired torush to the altar. Now I know. The expensive gifts! I took a gander at Kim and Kris’ Gearys Beverly Hills registry and found that, for the same cost as the items with which they wish to grace their home, they could feed an entire third world country. Recession? What recession? [Celebitchy]
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