Look, Doree Lewak, I’m not going to tell you not to court male attention or that you’re wrong for enjoying compliments — within reason — from strangers. I’m not going to condescend to you over the fact that it gives you an ego boost, not least of all because hey, to each their own. I wouldn’t want anyone to condescend to me for the ways I choose to interact with male and female gazes.
What I am going to say is this: Please don’t tell me what I ought to consider flattering, and then tell me to “deal with it” (in an admittedly clickbait-y article for The New York Post) because you’re on the wrong side of 25 to be talking to other people as if you’re in the seventh grade. Keep reading »
I’m not even going to pretend that I didn’t watch Buzzfeed’s What Men Are Really Saying When Catcalling Women video (above). Like, a good 20 times. Earlier in the day I’d written on my Tumblr about being catcalled six times in an hour while I was trying to run errands, and it was super-cathartic to laugh at the pathetic idiots who catcall me every time I do so much as leave my apartment.
Except, well, that’s not exactly true. The Buzzfeed video makes a variety of arguments as to why men catcall women: They don’t know how to empathize with women, they do it to feel manly, they want to look cool; but more than anything, the video makes catcallers out to be lonely, sexually frustrated losers who can’t get a date and compensate by being sexually forward to strangers. There are two problems with characterizing catcallers this way. First, the next logical step in this line of thinking is, “Well, if women would just give them attention, they’d stop,” which again puts the onus on women to placate men for our own sense of well-being. Keep reading »
It’s not just women who are at risk of being hurt if they stand up to street harassment: a man in Philadelphia was attacked and knocked unconscious when he tried to stop a car full of men from catcalling a group of women. NBC Philadelphia reported that a 39-year-old man visiting from Texas saw several men pull up in a car in Rittenhouse Square and start harassing a group of women. When the visiting Texan told the men to “watch what you’re saying,” according to police, one of the passengers got out and punched him in the head. The victim fell over and whacked his head on the concrete; as of yesterday, he was hospitalized in stable condition. Keep reading »
The current furor over street harassment is hard to miss. Everything from Internet message boards to Facebook pages are littered with gender driven discussions on an issue that has become a hot-button topic the world over. There are countless voices in the mix, but sadly, many of the loudest male opinions serve to dismiss any serious consideration of street harassment’s impact on female autonomy. The result is that many women and girls continue to feel threatened when walking or participating in public places.
This discomfort is often internalized and so passively condoned, empowering the aggressors in not only continuing their harassment but justifying their behavior. Some of these rationalizations are more common than others and are often called upon to derail any conversations highlighting the issue. For that reason, I have created a comprehensive list for ladies with responses to these typical arguments posed by men who believe street harassment is a “crazy” feminist idea that really does not need to be addressed. Keep reading »
You wouldn’t want to ruin a strange man’s day by not giving him a big toothy grin when he calls at you on the street, “SMILE!” With the Smile Bitch Training Camp, you, too, can be ready to look happy for absolute strangers no matter how shitty your day has been. [Twitter.com/JancelleJComic]
This morning, I was walking down the street when someone called to me from his car: “Hey, Big Butt!” This was meant to be a compliment of sorts. I don’t mind people saying that my butt is big (I mean, it’s sizeable, that’s just a statement of fact), but what bothered me is the absolute lack of rational thought that went behind this approach to getting my attention. OK! You approve of my big butt! You would probably like to touch my big butt. Stating the fact of my big butt as if it’s my name doesn’t exactly bring me around to your cause.
I’ve always thought that the best way to get someone to pay attention to you isn’t to just compulsively screaming out descriptions of body parts at strangers. Yes, it’ll get their attention, but my impression is that the point is to hold attention, too. That being said, I’d like to propose a list of catcalls that would get to the heart of my motivation as a person and keep my interest in the conversation moving along. Keep reading »