Breaking news! Hooking up won’t lead to ruination, death by AIDS, and a locust plague. A recent study by University of Minnesota School of Public Health found young adults who had casual sex were in a no worse emotional state than ones who had sex in committed relationships.
Researchers spoke to 1,311 young adults between the ages of 18 and 24 about their last sexual encounter and found that the one-fifth who last had casual sex and the four-fifths all felt emotionally similar afterward. “We were so surprised,” said Marla Eisenberg, an assistant professor at UM. “The conventional wisdom is that casual sex, ‘friends with benefits,’ and hooking up is hurtful. That’s what we’ve been teaching kids for decades.”
Obvi. That’s because conventional wisdom is crap. Keep reading »
As a single lady who has lived in a big city for years, and now moved to a new one, I’ve had my fare share of one-night stands. I’d never call myself someone who makes a romantic life out of having a lot of random sex. In fact, my heart stands more on the traditional side where I look for sex after the relationship connection, knowing I usually wind up hurt in casual flings and that I actually disdain the thought of adding another one-nighter to my “list.” Keep reading »
My hot friend/man slut, Eric, who gets more booty than a pirate, has made me swear to keep his big gay secret for months. But over the weekend, I got him to tell me everything he knows about the techie version of cruisin’. Or as he put it, “Fine, you can tell the breeders about Grindr.” Yay! Grindr is an iPhone application for those looking for one-night stands. It will show you photos of potential hookups and map out the exact location of men in your neighborhood just looking to get in your pants. Well, not our pants, perse, since it’s “The go-to place for gay, bi, and curious men to meet.” Sigh. On the upside: “Location-based Grindr is FREE, FAST, and FUN.” Sounds promising, no? If Grindr were to cross over to straight users, would you use it? [Grindr]
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I’ve never seen the do’s and dont’s of casual sex boiled down as succinctly as they are in this funny video from Current. Suggesting you to think of a friends-with-benefits relationship much the same way you would a temp job, the clip advises you to “make sure the person hiring you, knows they’re hiring you to be a temp,” “don’t assume you’ll go perm,” “always look for a better gig,” and “don’t take a temp job at place you used to work full-time less than three months ago.” Full clip above. Keep reading »
Yesterday, NPR show “Morning Edition” explored a new a cultural phenomenon you may have heard of called “the hookup.” The hookup, the program explains to anyone living under a rock, is a social trend, born of the sexual revolution of the ’60s and ’70s, women’s growing independence, and online social networking. It started among high school and college students but is now popular with recent grads who have entered the workaday world. “Young people from high school on are so preoccupied with friends, getting an education and establishing themselves, they don’t make time for relationships,” so instead of concerning themselves with finding a mate, they’re far more interested in no-strings-attached sex. Naturally, people are having a field day arguing the potential benefits and detriments of hooking up. Keep reading »
Craigslist‘s Casual Encounters is probably the best known place to go for casual sex. However, it’s not the only site you can visit if you want to hook up without dating. OnlineBootyCall.com‘s sole purpose is to connect its 3 million users in the U.S., U.K., Canada, and Australia for hookups. Not dates. Not love. Nothing more than sex. The site’s tagline: “A dating site for singles who enjoy being single.” And, it’s thriving. Keep reading »
You can find anything on Craigslist — a housekeeper, a used armoire, a new job. As easy as it is to find goods and services on Craigslist, it’s even easier to set up a fling by perusing the Casual Encounters personal ads, which account for two percent of all postings on the site. Users of Casual Encounters enjoy the ability to be candid and the anonymity, says founder Craig Newmark. For example, one user meets men who answer her ad, takes off her underwear, and gives it to them without saying a word. Even though she has a stalker, she continues to indulge her fetish. But this isn’t the first time complications have arisen through the site. Keep reading »
The ladies over at Lemondrop are talking about a 30-Day No Casual Sex Challenge. Suggested by sex and relationships writer Samantha Brett at The Sydney Morning Herald, this is a month of no casual sex that might help you distinguish whether any guy is worth your time when you’re just starting to get to know each other. With hormones flying, it’s easy to overlook early problems in a relationship until the bedroom passion starts to wane a few months down the line. But is forgoing casual sex for 30 days even that much of a challenge? I think not, especially if you don’t meet any men during that time period. Amelia tried not to do anything physical for six months, and she had no problem getting past the 30-day mark. In fact, she made it all the way to 16 weeks, so a month ain’t no thang. After the jump 30 ways to spend your time that don’t involve intercourse, dry humping, or getting yourself off. Keep reading »
You’ve heard of the trophy wife, but now trophy sex is turning that convention on its head. According to Guardian U.K. advice columnist, Pamela Stephenson Connolly, the term “trophy sex” is defined as simply seducing a man for his sex candy and then tossing him out like a wrapper once you’ve had your way with him. A lot of independent women enjoy trophy sex as a way of life — confirmed bachelorettes, who are just in it to win it!
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In an article in the Daily Mail U.K., Rowan Pelling, a former editor of the Erotic Review, writes that modern erotica being published by women encourages casual sex and is a betrayal to women and feminism. I’m not up on the latest in erotica themes and trends — Pelling references books with titles like Loose Girl: A Memoir of Promiscuity and Confessions Of A Working Girl — so I decided to pick the brain of someone who is. Frisky writer Rachel Kramer Bussel is herself a successful erotica writer and editor and I suspected she’d have some thoughts on the subject. Her response, after the jump… Keep reading »