Tag Archives: casual sex

Dear Wendy: “I Caught My Husband Perusing The Casual Encounters Ads On Craigslist”

The other day I got home and “caught” my husband perusing the casual encounters ads on Craigslist. He’s done this in the past and tells me he does it when he feels rejected by me sexually. We have sex three to four times a week. He told me he hasn’t contacted anybody. Since he’s not big on computer porn or videos (we do have couples porn and occasionally watch), I guess I just want to know if I should be worried. Truth be told, when we were going through a hard time a few years ago, I did catch him actually writing an email to someone on Craigslist. I want to believe him now that he’s not contacting anybody — his body language and everything seems to indicate so. Plus, his actions speak very loudly — he’s always home on time, etc. After talking about it, he said he needed friends for when I got pissed off (he’s not very sociable). Should I be worried or just let this go as curiosity/arousal/etc.? — Craigslist Caution

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Dear Wendy: “My Booty Call Got Me Pregnant”

I have been (VERY) casually dating this guy since March. I met him at a bar and started to hang out every week or so — nothing too serious. I work all the damn time and I really don’t want a relationship, so this has been fun, plus the sex is really amazing. Anyway, I felt something was up with my body and I missed my period two weeks ago, so I decided to take a pregnancy test. I took two and both turned out positive. He’s the only person who could have gotten me pregnant. I’m going to get an abortion, no doubt. I know I’m going to call him and ask him to come over and tell him, but what if he freaks out? Or what if he’s against abortion? This talk is truly terrifying in my eyes. How do I approach him without scaring him? — Pregnant and Terrified

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10 Women Weigh In On Casual Sex With An Ex

We’re back to that very interesting debate when it comes to our exes: Is it OK to have casual sex with an ex or is it better to not go there? After the jump, 10 women share their thoughts about ex-ing and sex-ing. What do you think about casual ex sex? Share your thoughts in the comments. Keep reading »

Girl Talk: I’m In The Market For A FWB

Here is a fact: I have never had a f**k buddy/friend with benefits. This is likely for the same reason it’s become common knowledge that I am incapable of having a one-night stand without getting a case of the sadz — I cannot stop myself from associating sex with love. The nature of a f**k buddy situation is that the two people involved like each other as people and as sex objects, but not as boyfriend/girlfriend material. The difference between a friends with benefits situation and a one-night-stand, of course, is that usually in the case of FWB, the two people involved already know each other and, in theory, have ruled out any interest in the other person as a potential mate, at least for the time being. Now, I’ve had one-night-stands with friends and thankfully have maintained those friendships even after our clothes were back on, but a successful, ongoing, fun friends with benefits situation has eluded me. Well, here’s a confession: I want one. Bad. Keep reading »

If You’ve Got One “Friend With Benefits,” You Probably Have Two

Another day, another wasteful scientific study about “hooking up.” According to a new University of Iowa study on ““The Contexts of Sexual Involvement and Concurrent Sexual Partnerships,” people who are engaged in a “friends with benefits” relationship are more likely to have sex with other people outside that relationship. In other words, a bunch of researchers got together and determined that if you’re having casual but regular sex with a friend, you’re more likely to also be having casual sex with other people at the same time. Keep reading »

Dealbreaker: The Guy Who Just Wants Sex

Have you ever scooped a red jellybean out of a bowl, expecting it to be sweet and cherry-flavored and instead you’ve shocked your tongue with a hot cinnamon surprise?

Whenever this happens to me, I feel sort of betrayed – expecting something and getting something drastically different in its place. And sure, it’s one thing when it happens with a sugary candy or perhaps a soup (you expect it to be hot, but it’s actually a super gourmet, weirdo cold situation), but when this same situation happens with a man it’s bound to throw you for a loop. And that’s exactly what happened to me not too long ago – I was expecting a sickly sweet romance and instead I got a fire-breathing hell boy.

Let me explain. Keep reading »

Girl Talk: My First Attempt At Casual Sex

I always change after I’ve slept with someone. It’s a subtle metamorphosis, but one I can count on—after sex, I feel emotionally attached. Even if the sex was boring, or painful, or just plain eh, afterward I always start to picture myself in a relationship with the person—sitting on the couch watching a movie, walking the dog we’ll no doubt adopt, sometimes even walking down the aisle. As such, casual sex is just something I’ve never considered. How exactly does one detach their feelings for one night of sexual fervor?

Thus, you could imagine my surprise when Jack offered to be my “pal with privileges.” Keep reading »

Is Casual Sex Experiencing A Backlash?

Earlier this week, blogger Jessica Grose at Slate wondered if there is “a new backlash against casual sex.” Grose points out that pop culture seems to have toned it down a bit: love-song warbling Taylor Swift is at the top of the charts, Britney Spears and Christina Aguilera are both mommies now, and we hear nary a peep out of Paris Hilton. The problem, Grose argued, is a backlash to the Spears and Agulieras of yore, capturing women in a “shame cycle.”

But over at Salon.com’s Broadsheet blog, Tracy Clark-Flory disagreed, arguing that “sexual regret is not a new phenomenon” and that how women experience casual sex — with embrace or regret — is simply always evolving. There’s room at the pop culture table now, Clark-Flory seems to be saying, for everybody.

As someone who had a decent amount of casual sex in her late teens and first half of her 20s, I’ve thought about this topic a lot: “Is this as fun as it’s supposed to be? Should it be more fun? Should I regret it more?” As a 25-year-old, I am only of maybe the second generation to be loud and proud about having casual sex, and exploring this new-ish territory is full of questions. Keep reading »

GuySpeak/GirlSpeak: From Booty Call to Boyfriend?

We’re back again for another edition of GuySpeak/GirlSpeak, where we take a close look at the advice given by guys to girls over at GuySpeak, throw in our own two vagina-possessing cents, and then have you weigh in. This week’s scintillating question: Can you turn a booty call into a boyfriend?

This guy uses me as a booty call, but I really like him, so whenever he calls I go meet him. Should I play hard to get and stop answering his calls? He always avoids my questions about a relationship.

Read on for our guy vs. girl advice … Keep reading »

Breaking News: Casual Sex Won’t Ruin Your Life!

Breaking news! Hooking up won’t lead to ruination, death by AIDS, and a locust plague. A recent study by University of Minnesota School of Public Health found young adults who had casual sex were in a no worse emotional state than ones who had sex in committed relationships.

Researchers spoke to 1,311 young adults between the ages of 18 and 24 about their last sexual encounter and found that the one-fifth who last had casual sex and the four-fifths all felt emotionally similar afterward. “We were so surprised,” said Marla Eisenberg, an assistant professor at UM. “The conventional wisdom is that casual sex, ‘friends with benefits,’ and hooking up is hurtful. That’s what we’ve been teaching kids for decades.”

Obvi. That’s because conventional wisdom is crap. Keep reading »

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