Tag Archives: casual sex

Friends With Benefits: Awesome When It Works, Even Though It Usually Doesn’t

Full Disclosure: I was asked by our sponsor to host a discussion where two bloggers provide the male – the uber masculine gentleman, ahem, cad behind The Superficial – and female perspectives – that would be moi – on having “friends with benefits.” (If you haven’t figured out what the movie is yet, here’s a hint: I would have sex with both of the stars and not just because I am a wee bit slutty.) Keep reading »

Define Your Own Boundaries (Or Why You Shouldn’t Feel Guilty About Casual Sex)

So there’s been a lot of talk lately about slut shaming, casual sex, and what exactly defines a girl as “whorey.” Instead of clearing all of that up for you with this post, I’m probably just going to create another grey area, but hey, that’s what life is all about, isn’t it?

Right. Okay.

So I want to talk to you ladies about one night stands. Casual sex. Hookups. Booty calls. Those guys you sleep with once and probably never see again. The reason I want to talk to you girls about this is because a lot of you are probably cringing right now, recalling your last one night stand, the last time you slept with a guy and then walked home in last night’s clothes, the last time you had casual sex and then felt guilty about it. In fact you’re probably feeling guilty all over again right now. And I want to tell you to stop. Stop cringing. Stop feeling guilty. Stop second guessing and over thinking and feeling bad about yourself. Because you know what? Casual sex is okay. And you know what makes it okay? The fact that you wanted to have casual sex. Read more… Keep reading »

Dear Wendy: “I’m Tired Of Always Feeling Used By Guys”

I am a 21-year-old female college senior who has been physically involved with a guy for about three months. In the beginning, he told me how he thought I was “girlfriend material” and made it seem like he wanted to pursue a relationship, but after a few weeks, it became clear to me that all he wanted from me was sex. I allowed this arrangement to continue, because with my busy class and work schedule, I don’t really have much time for a relationship either. All of a sudden, over the past couple of days, he has completely ignored me, started posting things on Facebook about having had an “epiphany” and realizing what the “true meaning of love is.” I texted him saying that it was OK if he had met someone new or if he just did not want to sleep with me anymore, but that I would have liked to have been made aware of this (reasonable, no?). But alas, he has not responded. I truly am happy for him if he has found someone new, because there really is no future for us, but I feel disrespected. I am also in the place I always find myself after something like this happens: depressed, lonely, and my self-esteem is crushed. Do you have any advice for me as to how I can deal with this kind of situation in the future so that I don’t feel so used? — Used up

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Girl Talk: I’m Not Looking For Casual Sex

Right after Ex-Mr. Jessica and I broke up around New Year’s, Tom*, a friend I’ve had for about four years asked if I wanted to go down to Washington, D.C., and visit him to get my mind off the breakup. I assumed there might be an ulterior motive there, but I was in pulling-my-hair-out, “Who knows why men do anything?!” mode and wasn’t totally sure. In any case, I told Tom I was still too sad to be good company, which was true.

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Girl Talk: I Am Going On A Sex/Dating/Drinking Sabbatical

After much thought and Advil, I have decided I am going on a sex/dating and drinking sabbatical. I went on a six-month sex sabbatical after my breakup from my fiance a few years ago — or, rather, I announced I was going on a six-month sex sabbatical and then it lasted for, I think, around two. It wasn’t a complete failure, in other words. Hilariously, I went on a sex sabbatical because all of my efforts to get laid were being thwarted and I figured I might as well decide to NOT have sex with a purpose.

Meanwhile, I have never taken a significant break from drinking. I didn’t start drinking until I was in college — I believe most people start in high school, so I was a late bloomer in more ways than one — and I remember the night I got drunk the first time as well as you can possibly remember a hazy night 13 years ago. The amount and frequency of my drinking has gone up and down over the years, but I generally consider myself to be a responsible boozer. I don’t drink and drive (easy when you don’t have a car!), I don’t say things I don’t mean, and, for the most part, I don’t do things I actually regret. Keep reading »

Dater X: Shaking Off The Pressure To Kiss Someone On New Year’s Eve

Last night, while out to dinner with friends, my phone rang—a rare occurrence in a world where phones are amazing for organizing schedules and arranging text messages into adorable dialogue bubbles, but aren’t so hot at providing a clear pathway for two people to talk. I recognized the area code immediately, though I had deleted the caller’s name in a huff a few days before—it was Scruffy Beard. I hadn’t heard from him in almost two weeks, since he sent me a lame “see you around” text the day after we had sex and he darted out the door 20 minutes after, throwing the condom in the trash.

I resisted the urge to listen to his voicemail message all the way through dinner. But as I left the restaurant, I just had to know what he said. Keep reading »

Are You More Willing To Have A One-Night Stand On New Year’s Eve?

I’ve had a few one-night stands in my life. Don’t look so surprised! But I have never had a one-night stand on New Year’s Eve, which, according to a study conducted by “intimacy” products manufacturer Wet (creative naming!), is the night the majority of women would have one. According to the study, 33 percent of women surveyed said they’d be more likely to have a one-nighter on New Year’s Eve than any other day. But why? Is it because they’re feeling more horny as the clock ticks down to midnight? More depressed and looking to soak up their sadness in the warm embrace of a stranger? More, well, drunk? Though I’ve never had a one-night stand on New Year’s Eve, I can’t write the holiday off as a total dud for my sex and love life — I met my ex-fiance at a New Year’s Eve party and we got engaged on New Year’s Eve four years later. If only he could have waited three and a half more months to dump me — we could have made New Year’s our break-up anniversary too! Ahh, well.

So, what about you, Frisky readers — whether you’ve had a one-night stand(s) before or not, would you be most likely to have one on New Year’s? Have you? [Wet via Lemondrop] Keep reading »

Dater X: Why Does Sex Change Everything?

As Scruffy Beard began unhooking my bra, a panic signal went off in my head. Uh oh, Dater X, I thought to myself. This is your third date and you are straddling him in a chair. Your shirt is across the room, and you can feel his hard-on through his pants. You are on a steam locomotive powering towards sex town. This. Is. Not. Good.

I pulled back, feeling suddenly shy about the fact that I was topless. I looked him in the eyes—definitely his nicest feature, though I’d come to appreciate the rest of his face in the two weeks we’d been dating, too. His gaze seemed filled with adoration and desire, and he leaned forward and kissed me, soft and slow. I felt his hands squeeze around my butt. And that was it. Soon the rest of our clothes hit the floor, our makeout session getting more intense with every kiss and touch. Keep reading »

Dear Wendy: “My Boyfriend Repulses Me”

When I asked my current boyfriend out, I was very clear to explain that I wanted something casual and certainly not monogamous. But somehow, he now thinks that we are a monogamous couple and is planning our future together. He keeps planning for events I don’t want to attend and talking as if we will always be together. He has become repulsive to me and I no longer feel that I want to be in a sexual/close emotional relationship with him but at the same time want to keep him as a friend. With that said, I am currently looking to pursue others outside of my boyfriend, more specifically someone of the same gender. Another complicating factor is that he and I volunteer for the same organization and within the same department, which means I need things to go amicably whether it be a relationship restructure or moving on. How do I get him to understand that we both feel differently about this relationship and its future and do so in a way that will not make it uncomfortable to work together in our volunteer work? Should this be the end? Is moving back to friends a possibility? — Romantically Doomed and Challenged

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Girl Talk: The Two-Night Stand

I met Elliot* at a restaurant. I was sitting at a table having dinner with a friend when I saw him sipping a bourbon at the bar. My palms got a little clammy, my jaw dropped slightly, and I may have even audibly gasped. “Hottest. Dude. Ever,” I announced to my friend. My mouth started to salivate. He was dreamy.

“Where?” my friend asked.

“There. At the bar,” I said. “The one with the facial hair and the scarf around his neck. The one who is obviously the sexiest guy this place has ever seen.” He was good-looking in the way that would make even the most poised woman act like a horny teenage boy, stopping to do a double and triple take and choke back a catcall. Keep reading »

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