A new study from the University of Iowa found that casual hookups are a perfectly acceptable way of stumbling into a happy relationship. Couples who became sexually involved as friends or acquaintances reported being just as happy in their relationships as people who waited until things were more serious to make the beast with two backs. But (of course there’s a “but”) this was true only if both people were open to having a serious relationship. Ooooh, I get it. Both people have to want to have a relationship for a relationship to happen. What a revelation. Yeah, I conducted this study myself throughout my 20s and discovered exactly the same thing. Sorry to bother you — go back to whatever it was you were doing, you sexy single. [Salon] Keep reading »
We’re back to that very interesting debate when it comes to our exes: Is it OK to have casual sex with an ex or is it better to not go there? After the jump, 10 women share their thoughts about ex-ing and sex-ing. What do you think about casual ex sex? Share your thoughts in the comments. Keep reading »
Here is a fact: I have never had a f**k buddy/friend with benefits. This is likely for the same reason it’s become common knowledge that I am incapable of having a one-night stand without getting a case of the sadz — I cannot stop myself from associating sex with love. The nature of a f**k buddy situation is that the two people involved like each other as people and as sex objects, but not as boyfriend/girlfriend material. The difference between a friends with benefits situation and a one-night-stand, of course, is that usually in the case of FWB, the two people involved already know each other and, in theory, have ruled out any interest in the other person as a potential mate, at least for the time being. Now, I’ve had one-night-stands with friends and thankfully have maintained those friendships even after our clothes were back on, but a successful, ongoing, fun friends with benefits situation has eluded me. Well, here’s a confession: I want one. Bad. Keep reading »
Another day, another wasteful scientific study about “hooking up.” According to a new University of Iowa study on ““The Contexts of Sexual Involvement and Concurrent Sexual Partnerships,” people who are engaged in a “friends with benefits” relationship are more likely to have sex with other people outside that relationship. In other words, a bunch of researchers got together and determined that if you’re having casual but regular sex with a friend, you’re more likely to also be having casual sex with other people at the same time. Keep reading »
Have you ever scooped a red jellybean out of a bowl, expecting it to be sweet and cherry-flavored and instead you’ve shocked your tongue with a hot cinnamon surprise?
Whenever this happens to me, I feel sort of betrayed – expecting something and getting something drastically different in its place. And sure, it’s one thing when it happens with a sugary candy or perhaps a soup (you expect it to be hot, but it’s actually a super gourmet, weirdo cold situation), but when this same situation happens with a man it’s bound to throw you for a loop. And that’s exactly what happened to me not too long ago – I was expecting a sickly sweet romance and instead I got a fire-breathing hell boy.
Let me explain. Keep reading »
I always change after I’ve slept with someone. It’s a subtle metamorphosis, but one I can count on—after sex, I feel emotionally attached. Even if the sex was boring, or painful, or just plain eh, afterward I always start to picture myself in a relationship with the person—sitting on the couch watching a movie, walking the dog we’ll no doubt adopt, sometimes even walking down the aisle. As such, casual sex is just something I’ve never considered. How exactly does one detach their feelings for one night of sexual fervor?
Thus, you could imagine my surprise when Jack offered to be my “pal with privileges.” Keep reading »
Earlier this week, blogger Jessica Grose at Slate wondered if there is “a new backlash against casual sex.” Grose points out that pop culture seems to have toned it down a bit: love-song warbling Taylor Swift is at the top of the charts, Britney Spears and Christina Aguilera are both mommies now, and we hear nary a peep out of Paris Hilton. The problem, Grose argued, is a backlash to the Spears and Agulieras of yore, capturing women in a “shame cycle.”
But over at Salon.com’s Broadsheet blog, Tracy Clark-Flory disagreed, arguing that “sexual regret is not a new phenomenon” and that how women experience casual sex — with embrace or regret — is simply always evolving. There’s room at the pop culture table now, Clark-Flory seems to be saying, for everybody.
As someone who had a decent amount of casual sex in her late teens and first half of her 20s, I’ve thought about this topic a lot: “Is this as fun as it’s supposed to be? Should it be more fun? Should I regret it more?” As a 25-year-old, I am only of maybe the second generation to be loud and proud about having casual sex, and exploring this new-ish territory is full of questions. Keep reading »
We’re back again for another edition of GuySpeak/GirlSpeak, where we take a close look at the advice given by guys to girls over at GuySpeak, throw in our own two vagina-possessing cents, and then have you weigh in. This week’s scintillating question: Can you turn a booty call into a boyfriend?
This guy uses me as a booty call, but I really like him, so whenever he calls I go meet him. Should I play hard to get and stop answering his calls? He always avoids my questions about a relationship.
Read on for our guy vs. girl advice … Keep reading »