I have slept with a fair amount of people. But I’ve orgasmed with only one, the person I was in a long-term relationship with. All of my other sexual encounters have been varying degrees of fun, but have not resulted in the Big O. For me at least — the men I’ve slept with always come. This never comes as a surprise to me. I don’t expect to come from casual sex, while I’m sure every dude I have it with does. As Natalie Kitroeff notes in an article for The New York Times, “in hookups, inequality still reigns.”
Here’s what I’ve noticed over, uh, the last 13 years of having sex. Some guys, even random dudes I’ve brought home from bars, are really, really into getting women off. But most of them are driven by their own egos. “Every girl I’ve ever been with has come” is something I’ve heard more than a few times from guys who just won’t stop until they’re sure you’ve reached their idea of satisfaction — orgasm. I’ve been known to fake it with these men, because it’s just so much easier than explaining to a relative stranger “I just can’t orgasm unless I am really, really, really in the right mood and there are no distractions and I’m 1000 percent relaxed and my OCD/ADD isn’t acting up. Also you have to be licking my pussy just right and it also helps if I use my vibrator while you’re fucking me, but even then it just might not happen. Don’t take it personally, I’m still having a great time!” I have given a few dudes the short version of that explanation and they all looked at me like I just killed their puppy. Keep reading »
For all their emotional complications, “friends-with-benefits” relationships may offer one advantage: safer sex. The results of a new study show that people in friends-with-benefits relationships are more likely to use condoms during oral and vaginal sex compared to those in traditional romantic partnerships. So, what if you don’t have a “friends-with-benefits” relationship but like the idea of casual sex?
Back in the ’80s, while I was living in Europe, immersed in the world of modeling, there were lots of opportunities for casual sex. I had friends who never slept around and others who did. From this, I learned a few things.
Featured in an article on nymphomania in Elle magazine, I was labeled as someone who had a healthy relationship with sex. Looking back, I am not sure that is the case. But let’s say it was. What are the benefits of casual versus non-casual sex? And is it a good idea for you to have casual sex? Will it benefit you or not?
If you are young and single, it is your choice what you do with your body. Here are some questions to ask yourself first. Read more…
“How innocent is that? All I wanted to say is that he’s so sensitive about not wanting to hurt a girl dating, so he just goes and dates and takes out a girl for maybe one or two dates and doesn’t have a relationship because he doesn’t have (time) and it’s not fair to the women. I thought that was so sensitive, but then they turned it around. I’m not used to this. … What kind of mom is going to say that [about her son having one-night stands]? Especially being a mom and having two daughters.”
– Ike Lochte sought to clarify her remarks earlier this week that son Ryan is too busy to have a serious relationship and instead “goes out on one-night stands.” Apparently, in the Lochte household, a one-night stand is just your run of the mill casual date! Well, for starters, I am obviously not buying that Ryan Lochte is wining and dining anyone, but I also think that the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree and Mrs. Lochte may very well dimly believe her son’s “one-night stands” are chaste and gentlemanly. Keep reading »
Friends with benefits. F**k buddies. It’s a concept I’ve never really been able to get behind, something I thought never really worked. Someone always develops feelings for the other, right? Someone always ends up getting hurt. But! I think I was wrong. Having the perfect f**k buddy relationship may be difficult, but it is not impossible — I should know!
See, off and on for the last year-plus, I’ve had a f**k buddy. And last night, when we were hanging out, I found myself thinking, This is pretty solid. This is easy. I don’t want anything more from this situation. So why has it worked? Well, I think we’ve stuck to six basic rules that have kept the boundaries clear and the situation mutually beneficial and fun. Check ‘em out, after the jump! Keep reading »
Science can explain everything, including that bro in the Red Sox hat chugging Amstel Lights. A study of 363 college students published in the online edition of the journal Sex Roles found that men with sexist attitudes towards women think more favorably of casual sex and tend to pursue “aggressive courtship strategies.” Lucky for them, women who also favor casual sex share these guys’ negative, sexist views towards women. Women with sexist views are also are more likely to respond to “aggressive courtship strategies.” The study’s authors, Jeffrey Hall and Melanie Canterberry of the University of Kansas, concluded this means sexist men and sexist women prefer partners who are like them, which I suppose is a way of saying that men with a low opinion of women have an easier time scoring with women who have low opinions of themselves. I find this sad, but it’s better these two groups date each other than sexist dudes try and pursue me. [USA Today] Keep reading »
A restricted clip/trailer for “Friends With Benefits”
(above, opening July 22) has me curious about something — have you ever f**ked and chewed gum at the same time? Excuse my French — Justin Timberlake
and Mila Kunis
drop the f-bomb a lot in the trailer above, so I’m just getting into the spirit. Anyway, they also are seen doin’ the nasty while both smacking on gum. I can only imagine that this is going to be some sort of minor plot point in the film, as I don’t know of anyone that actually thinks it’s a good idea to chew gum and hump at the same time. Am I crazy? Keep reading »