I love a ginger (hello, Prince Harry), but Carrot Top makes me want to vom. That’s why I couldn’t, for the life of me, figure out why John Galliano sent all of his amazingly gorgeous male models down the runway in Paris looking like the comedian walked out of a gay cabaret. If this becomes a trend, there’s going to be mutiny.

Move over Mystery, there’s a new dating guru—but instead of a big furry hat over his bald spot, this guy’s got a spiky wig.  And Satoshi Fujita claims it’s that very wig that boosted his confidence, like a woman with breast implants, making him a super stud with three self-help dating books, numerous television appearances, and a cult following. At his Pick Up School For Men Who Can’t Get Any in Japan, Fujita teaches the “science” he’s been researching for 10 years to hundreds of students a month. At $280 bucks a class, he describes his followers as socially awkward geeks who lack a certain je ne sais quoi that gets women in the sack.  Fujita teaches these poor guys how to use “laughter, compliments, and magic tricks,” to seduce women. No seriously, his gag bag literally includes “flaming wallets, talking ferrets, and animated algae balls.”