Dear Fantasy Girlfriend Carrie Underwood,
I want to preface this letter by letting you know that I am not a lesbian, nor do I plan on experimenting with women any time soon. With that said, I would certainly not kick you out of bed. In fact, you’re up there on the “People I’d Gladly Do If They Let Me” list with Paul Walker, Ryan Gosling and Tim McGraw.
While I was watching/sleeping through the CMA Awards last night, I was literally mesmerized by your legs. They’re perfectly toned, bronzed and otherworldly. For a moment, I thought I put my TV on mute, but it was just me—entranced by your limbs. You’ve had killer gams for a long time, but unfortunately, the trainwreck that was the 2013 CMAs, drew even more attention to the only appealing facet of the show other than Luke Bryan: your legs.
And since you exercised the shit out of those bad boys last night, perhaps you should take a seat because this might sting a bit. Here it goes … you sucked. Keep reading »
Did you guys watch the CMA Awards last night? I didn’t get to see the actual show, although according to Katie, I didn’t miss much. But come on, the red carpet fashion is what everyone really cares about, so let’s delve into the sartorial choices of country’s superstars, shall we? Who wins the crown for best color? Whose vintage style is on point? Who is most likely to be mistaken for a Vegas lounge singer? Who seems to be trying really hard to impress your mom? Click through to find out!
Don’t get me wrong. I adore Carrie Underwood. She is one of my favorite singers/performers and I’m secretly kind of excited she’s taking on the role of Maria Von Trapp for a TV movie version of “The Sound of Music” even though most people seem to think this is NBC’s second worst idea ever after greenlighting “Joey.” That being said, the poster for the television spectacle was released yesterday, and there’s something about it that’s, well, a little off. Is it the strangely vacant look in her usually lively eyes? The gaping smile? My confusion about this poster is best expressed in GIF form. Forgive me, Carrie. I just couldn’t resist.
The American Country Music Awards were held Sunday evening, and we imagine anybody who loves country music at all was busily flipping between the ACMs and “Mad Men” all night. Country music’s finest — along with some random famous country fans like Kaley Cuoco and Dog the Bounty Hunter — showed up for the festivities, and most (most!) of them wore some pretty lovely gowns. But it wouldn’t be a country music awards show without somebody going a little overboard with the rhinestones, feathers or sparkle. Click through to see last night’s fashion winners and losers.
I’m moving to Nashville in 10 days, so obviously I’ve been listening to a lot of country music. I’ve discussed the many merits of country before, but recently I’ve discovered how many bits of wisdom are written into these twangy songs. Read on for 10 life lessons–some serious, some funny–and the country tunes that inspired them… Keep reading »