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R. Kelly Gets Off 14 Times

You don’t have to throw out your Space Jam soundtrack! After six years, two stalled trials due to medical emergencies, and an impossible hunt for jurors who have never watched MTV, R. Kelly was amazingly acquitted of 14 counts of child pornography. The Chicago courtroom hummed with the rhythm of Robert Kelly’s Church-like chants of “Thank you, Jesus!” as he was declared innocent of raping his goddaughter. The singer/songwriter, who has beat more than just a bad rap, hugged his four lawyers. The defense dream team found a big hole in the prosecution’s case: no mole. R. Kelly has one that’s about a square inch on his back. In the sex tape, no mole appeared to be visible. R&B’s R. Kelly is free — his only crime? Creating Trapped in A Closet. But alas Hip Hoperas aren’t punishable by law, or Beyoncé would have already been in the clink for Carmen. [CNN] Keep reading »

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