Tag Archives: career

The Lies We Tell Ourselves To Stay In Jobs We Hate

Not everyone can love, adore, brag endlessly to others about the amazingness of their job. It would be nice if we could, but to quote the great Mick Jagger: “You can’t always get what you want.” However, finding a job you love isn’t a complete impossibility. Sometimes it’s denial and the lies we tell ourselves that can stand the way of reaching that job. So snap out of it! Get with the program of moving on to a job that will satisfy you intellectually, mentally and financially. Remember: ‘Impossible’ is what other people tell themselves.

Here are a few things you don’t want to tell yourself if you want to evolve past that job you hate so much. Read more… Keep reading »

Girl Talk: When I Grow Up, I Want To Be Tami Taylor

There’s a lot to love about “Friday Night Lights,” a TV show about so much more than just high school football. My interest in the show was initially sparked by the sight of Taylor Kitsch, sweaty and shirtless, but it struck an unexpected chord with me. I came for the hot guy— I stayed for the honest and realistic portrait of long-term monogamy and lessons on leadership and compromise. For those reasons, the character of Tami Taylor has resonated with me the most. I often find myself asking, What would Tami Taylor do? Here’s why. Keep reading »

10 Surefire Ways To Fail An Interview

It’s easy to fail a job interview. There’s really nothing to it, to be honest. Show up 20 minutes late with parsley in your teeth and a bunch of offensive jokes that are largely about human feces and you’ve just failed. Sometimes people want to fail on purpose because unemployment is a cushy situation, and sometimes people just fail because they’ve overlooked basic interview protocol.

Whether or not you want to fail a job interview, is your business. Either way, here are 10 things that are bound to make sure you never get that job for which you just interviewed. Read more… Keep reading »

The Balancing Act Of Managing Men

woman boss photo

My name is Lindsay. But at my day job, I also respond to dear, honey, sweetheart and kiddo. Kiddo is the one that really pisses me off. In three years of working with a sales crew comprised entirely of men, I’ve gotten pretty use to pet names. In the beginning, I frequently reminded people that I preferred to be called by my actual name. In response, the sales crew told their manager that I was difficult. For some reason, the pet names were important to them.

After sitting down and discussing this with my boss, I had to make a decision. Would I quit my job over a couple condescending affectations or was this something I could deal with? Obviously, I chose to stay. Keep reading »

Girl Talk: I Feel Like I’m Married To My Best Friend

“I’ve been thinking…”

Oh, God. Those three words. My heart rate quickened, hoping the next set of words weren’t going to be awful.

“I want to move to live with you in D.C. I really do. It’s just … I feel like this is all happening so fast. In a few months, I could have a new job, new apartment, a new life basically, and I keep asking myself ‘Am I ready for this??’ I think I am. I’m almost completely positive that I am. But I’m trying to figure out what’s best for me AND what’s best for us, and I’m feeling a lot of pressure.”

As serious as

I’m the one who pushes the envelope a bit too far sometimes, and she’s the practical one who reins me back in. She doesn’t let me get out of hand, and I in turn force her out of her comfort zone a bit.

“What’s so funny?”

“We sound married,” I said.

She broke down in a fit of tear-inducing, breathless laughter. The truth of it was too ridiculous not to laugh about. Between gasps for air, she asked, “What’s your boyfriend going to think?!”

My best friend, K., is planning a total life-transplant to Washington, D.C. to live with me. The plan has been in the works for over six months, though we had always wanted to live together after we graduated college. She’s tired of living in the same city — and in the same house — that she’s lived in with her parents since infancy. Moving back home wasn’t exactly her first choice after graduating over a year ago, but in this economy it was practically impossible to save any money without making the move home. She’s eager to get out of the city and her parents’ home, and start a more independent life in a place with much more opportunity.

Last August, I also moved back home in order to save money. Like K., I’m ready to leave, and my parents and I have agreed on a time range for me to move out. I lived alone once and hated it, so I’m determined to have a roommate. I’d prefer not to live with a stranger, K. prefers not to live with a stranger, and K. has always planned to move to D.C., so it seems logical that we move in together. We’re looking at a deadline of anywhere between two and four months from now, which means there are a lot of details to work out in not a lot of time.

The impending move has forced us to think like an entity, like a married couple. We’re facing questions and hurdles that any committed pair would face in our situation. Where do we want to live? How much are we willing to pay? How much would we each like to save? What kind of job is K. looking for? Should she move before she finds a job to ensure she’s there before I have to sign a lease? What’s our long-term goal for the place we choose? When should she tell her current employer that she’s leaving?

Answering each question is an exercise in patience, compromise and understanding. There isn’t any, “Well, I want this so we have to do that,” or “I’m moving at this time and that’s final. Live with me if you want” … you know, the kind of passive-aggressive bitchy dialogue you might find between two female friends and future roommates. We find a way to answer each problem that faces us in a way that we can both live with and agree on, that will be mutually beneficial to each of us now and in the future. There are no ultimatums or snappy requests, because we’re committed to each other. We can’t be demanding because that’s not healthy for the relationship in the long-term.

So. Why the hell am I so committed to being with my best friend? Why is it so important that we make decisions together and sacrifice things for each other, when we aren’t a couple? We aren’t required to have a life-long dedication to each other, so why act like we do? Living with strangers isn’t that bad.

More than being best friends, K. and I are also business partners. We found out long ago, when we were roommates for three years in college, that we had strikingly similar goals for our life. Over the past two years we combined those interests and similarities and formulated a plan for an enterprise that we want to undertake one day. It has proven to be an all-consuming passion for both of us, and the fervor has only grown now that we’ve each been out in the working world for a year, at jobs that neither of us are overly thrilled to be doing. Living together isn’t a vital necessity, but it would make working toward this goal a hell of a lot easier.

I’m the one who pushes the envelope a bit too far sometimes, and she’s the practical one who reins me back in. She doesn’t let me get out of hand, and I in turn force her out of her comfort zone a bit.

The dream would flounder if one of us decided to leave or give up; we balance each other out in a way that we’re confident will prove very successful in the future.

Just like any committed couple, we’re looking at the bigger picture. Yes, asking K. to leave her job and relocate her life so that we can make more headway on our plan isn’t easy. But we made a promise to turn this goal into a reality years ago. So in sickness and in health, we’re sticking to that vow.

Rachel writes a weekly relationship column for the up-and-coming pop culture source The Morton Report. Follow her on Twitter.

Photo: Digital Vision/Thinkstock

Girl Talk: What I’ve Learned From Working With Other Women

In a piece she penned for the latest issue of New York magazine, Roseanne Barr discusses her experience as a feminist pioneer in media. Throughout the piece she shares anecdotes about struggling to make it in a male-dominated industry. Of the most interest to me were her anecdotes about the females she encountered along the way. She writes about women that screwed her over and disrespected her and others that supported her and stuck up for her. One description of a non-supportive female colleague stuck out:

“This producer was a woman, a type I became acquainted with at the beginning of my stand-up career in Denver. I cared little for them: blondes in high heels who were so anxious to reach the professional level of the men they worshipped, fawned over, served, built up, and flattered that they would stab other women in the back. They are the ultimate weapon used by men against actual feminists who try to work in media, and they are never friends to other women, you can trust me on that.”

Keep reading »

Girl Talk: I’m A Stress Seeker

My name is Amelia and I am a stress seeker. According to a recent article in Women’s Health, stress seekers are “addicted to high-anxiety lifestyles … because somewhere along the line being stretched to the limit turned into a badge of honor.” I know about when it happened for me. When I was suddenly dumped by my fiance, after nearly five years together, I threw myself into my job. Working gave me something to focus on when the question, Who am I without him?, was keeping me up at night. No longer his fiancee, I needed to be of value to someone or something else. He didn’t want to marry me anymore, so I married my job instead. Keep reading »

Guy Talk: In Defense Of Dating Your Coworkers

office romance photo

Before I start here, I need to explain why the distinction between the type of “work” I’m talking about here is different from the typical kind of “job” drudgery lamented in endless Dilbert comics and annoying Facebook status updates. The type of workplace referenced here is the kind that serves as a funnel for your passions, not an obstacle between you and the weekend. Keep reading »

Poll: Ladies, What Holds You Back In Your Career?

Ladies, What Holds You Back In Your Career?

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Gwyneth And GOOP’s “Day In The Life” Of 3 Privileged Working Moms

For every step forward Gwyneth Paltrow makes in her attempt to improve her image, she takes two steps back. Though I was warming up to ol’ Goopie again, after that adorable and funny guest appearance on “Glee,” I am back to full GP attack mode thanks to her latest GOOP newsletter. I skipped last week’s GOOP once I realized it was just another endorsement of a cleanse that makes you s**t your brains out, but this week I was enticed to click with the promise of “a day in the life of real working moms.” I’m not a mom, but I want to be and that work/life/parenting balance is of interest to me. Who would these real working moms be? How varied would their advice and routines be? Sigh. I should have known better. GOOP showed me a day in the life of, ahem, a venture capitalist Gwynnie met, bestie Stella McCartney, and Gwyneth herself. Girl couldn’t trot out a poor or even a middle class mom? I know she’s got a cleaning lady! Keep reading »

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