People with ugly driver’s license photos, the state of Virginia feels your pain. The Department of Motor Vehicles in Virginia banned smiles—yes, smiles—and ordered all new photo-takers to make a “neutral expression” in their portraits. The DMV would like to develop a facial recognition system to standardize documentation and thwart fraudsters and identity thieves. OK, Big Brother, whatever you say.

Just a cranky DMV clerk barking “No smiling!” isn’t enough, though! The DMV’s software can detect and reject “attempts at exuberance or human warmth,” meaning if you flash some dimples or let your pearly whites crack through your lips, a computer will make you take your picture again.

Even though Virginia is just one of 37 DMV agencies nationwide to use the facial recognition software, Virginian drivers aren’t pleased. Groused one driver, “It makes everyone look like criminals.” [Washington Post]

Is it just me, or is this VW ad ... creepy? Copyranter reports this odd Volkswagen campaign was birthed in Lebanon, where a “new brood of Beetles was apparently only available by ‘special delivery.’” I guess they have some pretty big auto-wombs over there. It sure looks like it’s going to hurt coming out, doesn’t it? Copyranter suggests that if this ad ran in the States, people would have conniption fits. What do you think? Does this image make you want to buy a VW Beetle—or glue your thighs together forever and ever? (You can eye the ad in jumbo-size here.) [Copyranter]

There seems to be a direct correlation between how much a man spends on something and how big he wants the outside world to think his penis is.  These big-ticket items have to be noticeably large, suped up, and impressive—something to be showed off.  When men drop serious cash, it’s symbolically like they dropped their pants too. Here are the five things that men buy to make us think they have a big dick:

Sports Car: With that much horsepower, he feels like he’s hung like a horse.