I don’t know what inspires people to not just graffiti bathroom walls, but actually write commands. And it’s ubiquitous — at least half of what you’ll read in any bathroom is a command of some sort. Bathroom graffiti-ers know that you’ve got nothing else to look at while you’re on the john (I mean, presumably), so it’s a good place to express an opinion. But commands? That takes an extra level of bravado.
One of the cafés where I occasionally work has graffiti ALL OVER their women’s bathroom (and, I assume, the men’s as well). For your benefit, I’ve collected the soundest pieces of advice from the young twentysomething women of Chicago.