Oh, to be a fly on the wall at a photoshoot with Terry Richardson: “Now, bend over the railing and show me your panties … ” Ick, ick, ick. Oh well. She may be a hot mess everywhere else in her life, but at least Lindsay Lohan still remembers her ass is her best asset. [Terry's Diary]
I’ve never been a woman who thought about my figure and how to flatter it. From puberty onward, I luckily had a slim frame and an hourglass figure that made dressing easy-peasy. I could literally wear — and eat — anything that I wanted.
I was, I realize, that bitch you hate.
Then, around age 23, that all changed. I suppose it was my metabolism slowing down: I began to gain weight for the first time in my life and it all seemed to be concentrated on my butt. Jeans, skirts and dresses stopped fitting around my belly, hips and ass. I swear you won’t believe me, but I remember sitting in an office chair one day and realizing my butt had gotten cushier! Twenty-three and 24 were hard ages for me to begin with because I struggled with a nasty bout of depression; my sudden, prepubescent-ish awkwardness with my body changing became a nasty icing on the cake. Keep reading »
“She lectures us on eating right while she has a large posterior herself.”
This, my friends, is my holiday gift to you: Republican Congressman Jim Sensenbrenner (WI) was overheard trash-talking First Lady Michelle Obama during a cell phone conversation in the D.C. airport. First of all, blasphemy. Michelle’s booty is fine and she could probably do pushups and cartwheels around this fool. Second of all, who talks trash about the First Lady in the friggin’ D.C. airport where someone who works in government/media is bound to hear you (and gleefully tell everyone)? I mean, when I talk smack about Amelia, I go down the street to do it. Keep reading »
Ladies, if you insist on getting plastic surgery, please make sure that your doctor is properly licensed and legit. Because unfortunately, there are predatory fake doctors out there, and they will put some crazy things up your butt if you let them. Like transgendered woman Oneal Ron Morris (pictured), who for the low, low, low price of $700 offered one woman a butt implant. Sure, said the as-yet-unidentified victim, who probably looked at Morris’ own very large derriere and liked the results. Keep reading »
To add to the tornado of gossip that Kim Kardashian‘s divorce has ushered in, there are now claims that her soon-to-be-ex-husband Kris Humphries has “evidence” that Kim pads her famous butt! Dun, dun, duuuun! The “evidence” is reportedly a pic or a vid on his cell phone, says The National Enquirer. If only we could see her unclothed bottom and judge for ourselves, because it’s not as though Kim runs around in string bikinis or poses nude for Playboy. Keep reading »
Wait, you mean you actually have to exercise to tone your butt? Damn it!
That collective groan you hear are the scads of Reebok EasyTone customers who spent over $100 each on a pair of sneakers that the Federal Trade Commission recently ruled has “deceptively advertised” its customers. The FTC ruled that EasyTone and RunTone brand sneakers had none of the butt-toning abilities advertised and that anyone who bought the faulty sneaks could get a refund. Reebook has agreed to pay a $25 million settlement, although they stand by the tush-boosting claims they’ve made about their shoes.
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