Have you ever tried a bidet? Neither have these people! Their reactions to bidet-ing are both priceless and informative.
Bidets are little fountains that you hook up to your toilet, designed to clean poop out from your buttcheeks before you wipe. My eldest sister is obsessed enough with both bidets and the subject of pooping in general (you would be amazed how many of our conversations circle around to poop) that she bought our middle sister a poop stool and a bidet for Christmas. Despite her constant urging, and the fact that all of the toilets in her home are outfitted with a bidet, I have not tried one yet. The look of shock and awe on most of these bidet virgins’ faces is what I assume I would feel about it. Keep reading »
Robyn pointed me toward this ad on Craigslist today:
Robyn, not knowing me that well yet, of course probably figured that I would not reply to this ad. But of course I replied to this ad. I had three reasons for doing so:
Images of my butt are available on various parts of the Internet and in various contexts, so obviously I’m willing to negotiate the possibility of a stranger having a picture of my butt. If anyone should test whether or not this person is legitimately trying to get back at their employer, or if it’s just that he really likes butts, it should be me — any butt photo of mine that he would receive does not contain information that literally hundreds of thousands of other people don’t already have. Keep reading »
Kim Kardashian has become the “butt” of many jokes (sorry I had to), since revealing her naked Paper magazine cover last week, but it’s not only humans who are getting in on the ass action. A few artists over at DeviantArt have created their own covers with famous characters as their cover girls, all the while using Kim as their inspiration. But whose non-fiction ass reigns supreme: Ursula from “The Little Mermaid,” Jasmine from “Aladdin,” Marge Simpson from “The Simpsons” or My Little Pony? Check out their covers after the jump and tell us which is your favorite! Keep reading »
Another day, another fool trying to shove things up his butt to hide them from cops. This time, 35-year-old André Silva de Jesus was visiting his local prison in Ribeirao das Neves, Brazil, when he appeared “nervous,” and was pulled aside for an inspection. Claiming he had a pacemaker, André informed the prison guards he couldn’t go through the metal detector.
Little did cops know that they would ultimately find enough crap to rival an entire “Storage Wars” unit, all tucked away in his tush. Keep reading »
Quirky bridesmaids photos are well-trodden ground. There’s the Charlie’s Angels pose. There’s posing in a circle around the camera. And now there’s … lifting up your dress and flashing your butt? Keep reading »
Stéphane Bern is a French radio host, talk show presenter and “specialist in nobility and royalty.” Except not anymore, because he just publicly accused Pippa Middleton — the Duchess of Cambridge’s sister — of wearing a fake butt to the royal wedding. Keep reading »