Another day, another fool trying to shove things up his butt to hide them from cops. This time, 35-year-old André Silva de Jesus was visiting his local prison in Ribeirao das Neves, Brazil, when he appeared “nervous,” and was pulled aside for an inspection. Claiming he had a pacemaker, André informed the prison guards he couldn’t go through the metal detector.
Little did cops know that they would ultimately find enough crap to rival an entire “Storage Wars” unit, all tucked away in his tush. Keep reading »
Quirky bridesmaids photos are well-trodden ground. There’s the Charlie’s Angels pose. There’s posing in a circle around the camera. And now there’s … lifting up your dress and flashing your butt? Keep reading »
Stéphane Bern is a French radio host, talk show presenter and “specialist in nobility and royalty.” Except not anymore, because he just publicly accused Pippa Middleton — the Duchess of Cambridge’s sister — of wearing a fake butt to the royal wedding. Keep reading »
Today we learned that not one, but THREE bums — Nina Agdal’s, Lily Aldridge’s and Chrissy Teigen’s — will be gracing the cover of the Sports Illustrated 50th anniversary swimsuit issue. We get the hint. Ass is in for 2014 and Kate Upton’s boobs are out. Actually, I don’t think it’s possible for her boobs to go out of style. They’ll also be in the issue, which is due out next week. Just not on the cover. [What Would Tyler Durden Do]
He’s probably been the butt of a few jokes.
But seriously, kudos to Redditor “TBoneTheOriginal” for having the guts to post a picture of his non-buttcrack on the Internet and answer questions from curious onlookers. Learn more about his condition on Huffington Post…
Women have always been into men with enough backside to hold their pants up (no pancake ass!), but apparently, it’s becoming trendy for men to have some junk in the trunk because they want it. And when I say junk, I mean, they are literally getting fat sucked out of other places and injected in their butts.
Jeff Vickers, a man who’s “always had a nonexistent butt,” was featured in a New York Times Style section piece about the surging popularity of man booty. Vickers, a 46-year-old father of four, was so unhappy with his flat ass that he went to a plastic surgeon to try to plump his rump (sorry, I had to). “I’m not a girl so I’m not worried about having a table back there you could sit a coffee cup on … I just wanted to be able to put on a pair of pants and for them to stay up.” Ultimately, Vickers concluded: “The only way to pump up your derrière is with your wallet.” Keep reading »
Charmin toilet paper ads usually include cute bears experiencing mishaps with toilet paper and eventually figuring out that Charmin is the best! This ad is a little bit different in that it is a butt. Literally, it is just a butt. A butt really close up so that the fold between pages looks like the ass crack. I guess the idea here is that if you use Charmin, your butt will be so clean that somebody could get that close? Honestly, I prefer the antics of the bears. [Buzzfeed]
You probably weren’t considering putting an eel up your ass today. But just in case you were, please let this terrible eel-in-anus tale dissuade you from doing such a thing. And if eel-in-anus tales are the kind of things that make you feel uncomfy, you probably should stop reading now because I’m going to regale you with all the deets, gory enough to make Richard Gere and his gerbil ass blush. Keep reading »