Oh, look! A PETA campaign which doesn’t offend anybody! Could it be so?

We’re not sure what Brody Jenner, star of the reality show “Bromance” and Kim Kardashian‘s step-brother, has to do with clubbing baby seals ... but he’s hot, so whatever.

Joe Francis is the guy we’d most like to vote off planet Earth. The Girls Gone Wild impresario (wait, I’m revoking this term since it includes the word “impress” and there ain’t nothing impressive about Francis) got in a scuffle last night at Guys and Dolls in Los Angeles, and allegedly assaulted a woman. And not just any woman—Jayde Nicole, Playboy‘s Playmate of the Year for 2008, who you know as Brody Jenner‘s girlfriend on “The Hills.” Here’s what supposedly went down, according to TMZ...

People‘s Hottest Bachelors issue hits newsstands this Friday, and we’ve got the list. Among the supposedly best looking eligible men in Hollywood are few gentlemen who simply don’t do it for us. The offenders, after the jump.

Yes, but just for the cameras. The exes and new “Hills” castmates filmed a commercial for AT&T. [Beverly Hills, 5/28/09]

Season Five (probably the last) of “The Hills” starts soon and MTV has released a preview clip. Undoubtedly, these two minutes and 24 seconds are the most exciting moments of the entire season, so watch them now so you don’t have to waste time actually viewing the show! But a couple things to point out—that psychic at the beginning clearly reads Us Weekly, that’s how she knows so much about Lauren. Also, did Brody lose weight? And lastly, have Spencer and Heidi been photographed together lately? Maybe they really do break up…

Brody Jenner doesn’t make the best decisions, but starring in a show called “Bromance” isn’t his worst choice yet. A source told the website Scandalist that he and his girlfriend, 2008 Playmate of the Year Jayde Nicole, have gotten each other’s initials tattooed on the inside of their lower lips. At least inner-lip ink is discreet enough that Brody’s next Playmate might not notice. [BuzzFeed]

In Rolling Stone‘s cover story on Britney Spears (on newsstands today), the singer describes some recent dates she’s been on, all “supervised” by her assistant. While none of the dates have been successful, it goes without saying that post-Federline and post-breakdown, Papa Spears is keep a very close eye on who his daughter hangs out with. While some say Britney still holds a candle for Adnan Ghalib, we think she should drop that trash and, when she’s ready, find herself a man who’s not going to use her. Who knows what her mom and dad will approve of—they don’t seem to want too many people to get close to Britney and her millions—but we have some suggestions that could totally work.

Tila Tequila, bisexual star of the MTV shows, “A Shot At Love” I and II, has just written a one-night-stand, er, dating advice book set to come out in December. This is breaking news, people: Tila, who is even dumb by MySpace standards, is literate!  Well, at least she claims she speaks the international language of love. After soliciting “fans” for their romance questions, she’s authored what she considers a tome on relationships entitled, “Hooking Up With Tila Tequila.”  We wonder if her book will be opened as much as her legs have been?

In her 90210 rise to stardom, Shannen Doherty had it all—fame, fortune, and the most glamorous bitch face on television. Over a decade later, we’re genuinely surprised Shannen isn’t still in the public eye or happily hitched to some billionaire with a pompadour. But after being a brat and leaving the show that made her a household name, she’s still magically managed to keep her career afloat (though on life support) with made-for-TV movies and shows like Charmed. And now that she’s signed on to the new 90210, Shannen is poised again for serious stardom.  So how can she take her life to the next level now that she’s suddenly gone from D-list to C-list?  We here at The Frisky have some ideas to put this bitch back on magazine covers!

The thing is, with the gossip magazines and bloggers reporting every little thing that goes down in the interim, are we even going to be surprised by the fake melodrama? We already know Heidi and Spencer are back together; we know Lauren and Audrina continue to fight; we know Lauren dates a couple dudes not named Stephen or Brody. I mean, they better have some stuff they’ve kept hidden, or this could be a boring season. Sigh. Whatever, still excited.

Just now, Amelia and I were discussing Brody Jenner and the upcoming trash-fest that will be Bromance. “Does the fact that he’s doing the show make Brody less attractive?” Amelia asked. Duh. “But what turns you off the most: Bromance, the Gothic-lettered “Jenner” tattoo running down his side, or his Gothic jewelry line?” Me: “HE HAS A GOTHIC JEWELRY LINE?” Oh dear. (Brody doesn’t actually design the jewelry, but he is the marketing director for Archangel. I hope he doesn’t believe in his product, but the Gothic tattoo suggests otherwise.) And so we ask you, what makes Brody less attractive to you (if anything)? [NOTE: The photo above features Brody wearing an Archangel necklace. It was taken back in 2006, though, so maybe he’s stopped wearing such hideous accessories.]

Whoa, The Hills in all its scripted glory, was awesome. It should always be an hour! The show, back for a mini-interim season, started off with Lauren and Whitney headed to Paris to help out Teen Vogue at the Crillon Ball, a fancy-schmancy debutante event for rich socialite kids. Within, like, seconds of landing at Charles de Gaulle Airport, Whitney and Lauren immediately start to slack off on their, you know, jobs by opting to pick up their ball gowns instead of running Teen Vogue errands, while Lauren finds out Brody has managed to find a girlfriend since she left L.A. Seriously, time moves fast in LC’s world. Back in L.A., Spencer is shedding a tear into his beer because Heidi has headed back to the homey, unpretentious Colorado town that managed to spit out her trashtastic, gossip-chasing self, in order to get some breathing room from their sad little relationship.

Check it out at MTV.com.