There’s airbrushing and then there’s “who the hell is that on the cover of that magazine”? And that’s exactly the line Lucky magazine crossed with its December 2012 cover, featuring X-Factor judge Britney Spears. Readers took to Twitter to complain that the cover image looked unnatural and overly Photoshopped. They accused the mag of putting a wig on Britney, and retouching her face beyond recognition.
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It was just yesterday that I was sitting at my desk at The Frisky office, going on and on about how much I love Britney Spears and debating out loud which of her songs is my favorite: “Toxic” or “Slave 4 U.” Lucky apparently still has a girl crush on Brit, because they’ve put her on their December cover, an interesting choice considering Britney is known for many things, but making good shopping decisions is not one of them.
Anyway, Britney looks lovely on the cover, to be sure, but she also looks a bit overly photoshopped in the face — and what in the helllllllll is on her head? Why is Britney wearing a wig? Did she shave her head again? And why is it so obviously a wig, anyway? She — and Lucky! — surely have enough moolah between the two of them to get something more realistic than discarded Barbie hair. I realized I should be grateful that Brit has evolved from the sad series of weaves she wore during “the rough years,” but still, this gives me a sadz. Can’t Britney just be allowed to rock her own hair? Lord knows I would love to know what it actually looks like.
So, Justin Timberlake and Jessica Biel got married today, and they are both really pretty and talented (okay, he’s really talented, and she’s really pretty). But you know what? We can’t get a boner up for this. They might just be the most dull celeb couple ever. Timberlake called his lady “a really, really, really special person,” which is nice, you know? But also so dispassionate-sounding. I mean, longterm, this probably bodes well for their marriage, but who among us wasn’t secretly hoping that JT would eventually get back together with Britney Spears? Now that’s passion. [People]
This week on “What We Missed,” we discuss bagel heads, Cindy Gallop’s “Make Love Not Porn,” Britney Spears’ inexplicable facial expressions on “The X Factor,” and Illinois pharmacists winning the right to refuse to dispense the morning-after pill. Also, we examine a mysterious brown spot on the office floor.
Last night, Britney Spears made her “X-Factor” debut, and it was priceless. Britney is back, and she is, well, super weird, making strange facial expressions and seeming kind of blank. But whatever, I could watch Britney Spears simulate real human emotion forever. And you know, she’s not the easy judge everybody thought she’d be. She actually has a lot of not very nice things to say, in the way that someone who is not very bright but is trying to seem witty might.
Oh, but that’s not the only thing that happened to Ms. Spears Wednesday night. She also had a very “Maury Povich” visitor from her past!
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In case you have been living under a rock, “Gangnam Style” is the most absurd dance craze since “The Macarena” and you should not attempt to do it unless a) you are willing to look like an idiot, or B) you have the physical dexterity of Britney Spears (and, apparently, Ellen DeGeneres). Ellen surprised Brit-Brit with a visit for Psy, the South Koren pop star/rapper to teach her his sick moves. Dress classy and dance cheesy, everyone! [Entertainment Weekly]
Q: What do you do when someone bites it right before your eyes? A: Laugh. Obviously. I fully condone this behavior and I have every right to considering that I am usually the one tripping and falling. I am a proud klutz and I love it when people support my accidents with hearty laughter. It makes the aftermath less embarrassing. Hopefully Britney Spears bodyguards had the sense to chuckle — after stopping her from crashing to her knees, of course.
Keep clicking for some more celebs biting it. It’s OK to laugh. I promise.
If you’re a celebrity, it’s not unusual to request a long list of luxurious items to make you feel right at home in your dressing room. No request is too big or too small (or too ridiculous) to be accommodated. That, and death may come upon the head of the person who says no. Here’s what Britney Spears is allegedly requesting for her new gig as an “X Factor” judge: 12 Snickers bars, six cases of Diet Coke, which must be replenished every week, 10 bags of Doritos a day, 12 vases of magnolia blossoms in her dressing room, 10 pieces of chicken and four pints of potato salad every week. Wait, what about the Cheetos? She needs Cheetos! Sounds like Brit will be having a down-home BBQ back there every night. Click through to see some more outrageous celebrity demands that you won’t believe. Who do these people think they are? [WOW]
This is what Britney Spears’ nails looked like at the recent FOX upfronts. No wonder she was trying to keep her hands concealed. Those paws are all gnawed and busted. I’m pretty sure she can afford a manicure. Get that girl to the salon … for our sake if not for hers. How will we watch her on the “X Factor” with hands like that? We volunteer to personally escort her to the salon. Our treat! [WOW]