This week on “What We Missed,” we discuss bagel heads, Cindy Gallop’s “Make Love Not Porn,” Britney Spears’ inexplicable facial expressions on “The X Factor,” and Illinois pharmacists winning the right to refuse to dispense the morning-after pill. Also, we examine a mysterious brown spot on the office floor.
Last night, Britney Spears made her “X-Factor” debut, and it was priceless. Britney is back, and she is, well, super weird, making strange facial expressions and seeming kind of blank. But whatever, I could watch Britney Spears simulate real human emotion forever. And you know, she’s not the easy judge everybody thought she’d be. She actually has a lot of not very nice things to say, in the way that someone who is not very bright but is trying to seem witty might.
Oh, but that’s not the only thing that happened to Ms. Spears Wednesday night. She also had a very “Maury Povich” visitor from her past!
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In case you have been living under a rock, “Gangnam Style” is the most absurd dance craze since “The Macarena” and you should not attempt to do it unless a) you are willing to look like an idiot, or B) you have the physical dexterity of Britney Spears (and, apparently, Ellen DeGeneres). Ellen surprised Brit-Brit with a visit for Psy, the South Koren pop star/rapper to teach her his sick moves. Dress classy and dance cheesy, everyone! [Entertainment Weekly]
Q: What do you do when someone bites it right before your eyes? A: Laugh. Obviously. I fully condone this behavior and I have every right to considering that I am usually the one tripping and falling. I am a proud klutz and I love it when people support my accidents with hearty laughter. It makes the aftermath less embarrassing. Hopefully Britney Spears bodyguards had the sense to chuckle — after stopping her from crashing to her knees, of course.
Keep clicking for some more celebs biting it. It’s OK to laugh. I promise.
If you’re a celebrity, it’s not unusual to request a long list of luxurious items to make you feel right at home in your dressing room. No request is too big or too small (or too ridiculous) to be accommodated. That, and death may come upon the head of the person who says no. Here’s what Britney Spears is allegedly requesting for her new gig as an “X Factor” judge: 12 Snickers bars, six cases of Diet Coke, which must be replenished every week, 10 bags of Doritos a day, 12 vases of magnolia blossoms in her dressing room, 10 pieces of chicken and four pints of potato salad every week. Wait, what about the Cheetos? She needs Cheetos! Sounds like Brit will be having a down-home BBQ back there every night. Click through to see some more outrageous celebrity demands that you won’t believe. Who do these people think they are? [WOW]
This is what Britney Spears’ nails looked like at the recent FOX upfronts. No wonder she was trying to keep her hands concealed. Those paws are all gnawed and busted. I’m pretty sure she can afford a manicure. Get that girl to the salon … for our sake if not for hers. How will we watch her on the “X Factor” with hands like that? We volunteer to personally escort her to the salon. Our treat! [WOW]