It’s Burtenay, bitch, and the wispy bowl-cut bangs and pained faraway stare suggest to me that her every move is being controlled by remote forces. Except for the shoeless convenience store restroom trips and puffed Cheeto consumption. That’s alllll organic Britney.
I am an unapologetic Britney Spears superfan, so I welcome every musical endeavor of hers with open arms, even if they include collaborations with lame dorks like Will.i.am from the Black Eyed Peas. Brit and Will.i.am debuted the video for their single “Scream & Shout” last night, and I have so many feelings about it. First of all, it’s a great, fun, if completely soulless club song. Second, Britney Spears sing-talks with a posh British accent, why? Third, she looks amaaaaazing. Fourth, less Will.i.am, more Britney please. It’s no “Toxic,” but I’m happy to have Britney flexing her pop muscle again.
There’s airbrushing and then there’s “who the hell is that on the cover of that magazine”? And that’s exactly the line Lucky magazine crossed with its December 2012 cover, featuring X-Factor judge Britney Spears. Readers took to Twitter to complain that the cover image looked unnatural and overly Photoshopped. They accused the mag of putting a wig on Britney, and retouching her face beyond recognition.
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It was just yesterday that I was sitting at my desk at The Frisky office, going on and on about how much I love Britney Spears and debating out loud which of her songs is my favorite: “Toxic” or “Slave 4 U.” Lucky apparently still has a girl crush on Brit, because they’ve put her on their December cover, an interesting choice considering Britney is known for many things, but making good shopping decisions is not one of them.
Anyway, Britney looks lovely on the cover, to be sure, but she also looks a bit overly photoshopped in the face — and what in the helllllllll is on her head? Why is Britney wearing a wig? Did she shave her head again? And why is it so obviously a wig, anyway? She — and Lucky! — surely have enough moolah between the two of them to get something more realistic than discarded Barbie hair. I realized I should be grateful that Brit has evolved from the sad series of weaves she wore during “the rough years,” but still, this gives me a sadz. Can’t Britney just be allowed to rock her own hair? Lord knows I would love to know what it actually looks like.
So, Justin Timberlake and Jessica Biel got married today, and they are both really pretty and talented (okay, he’s really talented, and she’s really pretty). But you know what? We can’t get a boner up for this. They might just be the most dull celeb couple ever. Timberlake called his lady “a really, really, really special person,” which is nice, you know? But also so dispassionate-sounding. I mean, longterm, this probably bodes well for their marriage, but who among us wasn’t secretly hoping that JT would eventually get back together with Britney Spears? Now that’s passion. [People]