Tag Archives: bristol palin

Quickies: The Snooki Punch, Doggy-Style

  • Dogs recreate the “Jersey Shore” punch. [Nerve]
  • Boyfriend cheated? One girl is getting even with eBay. [Lemondrop]
  • Bristol Palin apparently wants full custody of lil’ Tripp. [NY Post]

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Will Levi Johnston Resurrect The Playgirl Brand?

We are a nation obsessed: with Levi Johnston‘s penis, apparently. The Daily Beast digs deep, wondering: “Can Levi Johnston Save Playgirl?” Methinks not. Along with many other magazines, Playgirl all but tanked last year, thanks to plummeting advertising rates, decreased circulation, and the proliferation of online adult content. But the Playgirl brand lingers, and the company plans to reinvent the magazine in the new millennium, courtesy of a series of high-profile spreads. Daniel Nardicio, a consultant brought in to lead the charge, hasn’t previewed what Levi has to offer; although, he adds, “We wouldn’t turn away Levi if he had a small penis.” How generous. Which male celebrities have bared their bods for Playgirl during its illustrious past? Get an eyeful in the slide show. [The Daily Beast] Keep reading »

Levi Johnston Experiencing Penis-Size Crisis

Oh, no! Frisky favorite Levi Johnston is having some type of penis-related existential crisis prior to his upcoming nudie Playgirl pictorial. The New York Post reports that Levi is worried about the size of his pecker. “We hear that the father of Sarah Palin’s grandson has been telling folks at the magazine he is worried about how his manhood may look during the shoot.” What if he’s a grower, not a shower? What if when he takes it all off, he doesn’t measure up? The purported shoot location is, unsurprisingly, an ice rink (nice, er, puck?), and rumor has it Levi is worried the chill may cause some unflattering shrinkage. Levi’s man-friend Tank says it ain’t so, but perhaps an on-set fluffer would be in order? [New York Post] Keep reading »

Levi Johnston Is Hawking … Pistachio Nuts?


I thought Sarah Palin was the nutty one, but Bristol‘s baby daddy, Levi Johnston, is now hawking nuts—yes, nuts—in a groan-inducing sexually provocative commercial for Wonderful Pistachios. Clever, Levi, but I am still holding out for Alaska’s finest to pose for nudie pics! Keep reading »

Levi Johnston’s Vanity Fair Smear Piece Calls Sarah Palin A Crappy Mom & Wife

The Vanity Fair “Me and Mrs. Palin” article by Levi Johnston—which he appears to not have “written” so much as dictated to the editors—is the juiciest, gooeyiest, gossipiest smear I’ve ever sunk my teeth into. Did you know Sarah Palin wanted her and the First Dude to secretly adopt Bristol and Levi’s baby, Tripp, so no one would know her teen daughter had been pregnant?!?! Or that Cindy McCain offered to let Bristol and Levi marry at the White House if McCain won?!?! Allegedly.

But beneath all the gossip that supports the theory that, yes, these chuckleheads and their hunting gear are just as ridic as we’ve always thought they were, Levi (and the Vanity Fair editors who approved his piece) tells another story: Sarah Palin is a bad mother and wife. As much as I dislike the Alaskan ex-governor’s character as a politician, that particular story is not one that’s fair to tell. Keep reading »

Sarah Palin’s Feud With David Letterman Gets Pornified

Well, it was bound to happen. Porn company Lethal Hardcore Video has spoofed the Sarah Palin/David Letterman feud for a flick called, ahem, “F**k My Mom and Me.” In the dirty movie, “Letterman” has sexual relations with both the former Governor (“Sara Paelin”) and her daughter (“Bristhole Paelin”). Has porn finally gone too far?! I’m sure Palin thinks so, but this is just another example of the negative side of putting your family in the limelight (and People magazine). As for the mother/daughter theme, this is hardly new. Porn with incestuous themes are pretty common — I’ve seen (and by “seen” I mean, uh, glimpsed, not watched) porn where two actresses, playing mother/daughter, sisters, etc. schtoop each other. I’ve even seen some twin porn and what’s icky about that is that it’s hard to fake identical twins. [AVN.com] Keep reading »

Levi Johnston Is Determined To Extend His 15 Minutes

My imaginary redneck boyfriend, Levi Johnston, is still runnin’ that tobacco spittin’ mouth of his. (Actually, I don’t know if he actually chews/spits tobacco, I’m just being admittedly stereotypical about rednecks.) This time he’s chatting with New York, a city, by the way, he tells the mag he doesn’t like. Levi tells the mag, “There’s too many people. I can’t wait to get home.” Levi really realized home was where his heart was when he was dragged to the Republican National Convention and told to wave and smile, prompting the media to suggest he would be moving to Washington, D.C. with the Palin family had the McCain ticket won the Presidency. Of the convention he says, “That was ridiculous…. I ain’t never moving.” Well, shucks. Keep reading »

Abstinence-Only Sex Ed Is Rebranding Its Message

If you’re wondering who thought it was a good idea for Bristol Palin, pregnant at 17, to warn America’s teens not to have sex until they’re married, you’re not alone.

But it’s hard to figure out what, exactly, the well-meaning adults who preach “no sex until marriage” to teenagers are thinking, considering a 2007 study confirmed abstinence-only education does not work.

Jessica Valenti, editor of Feminsting.com and author of The Purity Myth: How America’s Obsession With Virginity Is Hurting Young Women, has written a piece for The Nation about how the groups that comprise what Valenti calls “the virginity movement” have finally realized they need new PR.

Unfortunately, the abstinence preachers’ ideas for discouraging teens from having sex still don’t make any sense. Keep reading »

What Levi Johnston Should Really Do With His Life

Levi Johnston, Bristol Palin’s baby daddy, is leaving Alaska to become the family breadwinner. Well, at least, the teen father is using the excuse that he needs money to support his son, Tripp, as his reason for trying to extend his 15 minutes of fame by becoming an actor. He’s got an agent and is booking all sorts of exciting things, like a reality show and cameos in sitcoms. [MSNBC]

Since Johnston is a high school drop out, and he is kinda hot, this isn’t the worst idea ever. And we’d be the first to watch his reality show. But here are some other income generators he might want to consider: Keep reading »

David Letterman Should Not Have Apologized To Sarah Palin

You may have heard that David Letterman and the governor of Alaska are in a bit of a tiff over jokes he made in reference to her family — particularly jokes he directed at one of her daughters. After much back and forth, Letterman apologized for the second time last night — this time, without sarcasm. Personally, I don’t think that he should have. Keep reading »

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