Three of my friends recently got engaged, and I’m feeling a little overwhelmed. I’m a bridesmaid in one of the weddings and want to be as helpful to all three of them as I can, but I’m not sure what I’m supposed to be doing. In fact, I actually picked up a copy of Modern Bride last weekend when I was in a nail salon, because I thought it might give me a clue! It did not. Since many of you Frisky readers have been in friends’ weddings, or at least gone to one, I’d love for you to share the tips and tricks you’ve picked up along the way in the comments.

When you’re a bridesmaid, everything is supposed to be about making the bride’s life easier, making the day go smoothly, blah, blah, blah. Know what it’s really all about? The dress. While a classic dress in a nice color shouldn’t be too much to ask for, bridesmaids generally end up covered in heinously colored ruffles, walking down the aisle in mild shame and kind of wishing for death. The madness must stop! Matching dresses and rhinestones of any kind need to be banned immediately. Not yet convinced? Check out these bridesmaid dress horror stories, and you too will dedicate yourself to the cause.

Hiring a hairstylist and a makeup artist used to be sufficient for the big day, but not anymore. Brides are increasingly demanding or strongly suggesting their bridesmaids, mothers and mothers-in-law get all types of cosmetic enhancements, like Botox, Restylane, and even breast implants. In most cases, the brides are replacing the customary mani/pedi bonding session with trips to an aesthetician, where she foots the bill, but some bridesmaids are actually willing to pay for these treatments themselves. I can understand a bride wanting everything to be perfect on her wedding day, but perfect to me means showing loved ones as themselves. The bride has the right to choose the bridesmaids’ dress, but she has no right to demand cosmetic enhancements. Why risk a friendship over a wrinkle, an acne scar or sun damage? The only way I’d get Botox for a demanding bride is if she paid for it and I could get it in my armpits, which I imagine is extremely painful, but I hate sweat stains. [New York Times]

As I’ve written before, I’ve never been a bridesmaid, though I almost was one until my friend’s wedding got canceled on account of the groom being a total d-bag. But, so far, I have three bridesmaids for my totally-unplanned wedding next summer (maybe, you know, if we get our crap together) and I am already wondering if they secretly resent me for choosing them. I just watched 27 Dresses (begrudgingly, at first, but then I loved it) and realized that being a bridesmaid can really, really suck and that bridesmaids’ dresses are never worn again, no matter what anyone says—my favorite line in the movie is when every bride tells Katherine Heigl’s character, “You can shorten it and wear it again!”, to which she always sarcastically replies, “So true.” Anyway, I decided to poll some ladies about their experience as bridesmaids and asked for a final verdict—does being a bridesmaid rule or suck? Their responses after the jump….

I’ve been reading this book I Was Told There’d Be Cake, a collection of personal essays by Sloane Crosley, for the last few months. Though I think the book, in general, is a little “try too hard”, there’s one story in particular that really struck a chord with me. “You On A Stick” is about the time that Sloane’s best friend from her youth called her up out of the blue, after not having spoken for years, and asked her to be a bridesmaid in her wedding. The essay ends up being about a lot of issues associated with being a bridesmaid—from the mundane and annoying tasks associated with the duty, like making a veil out of wrapping paper at the bridal shower, to the more serious issue of female friendships and what they mean. The latter hit home for me though—for the record, my bridesmaids will never have to make an asinine hat for me out of ribbons unless they put a gun to my head and force me to wear one—because I’ve been having a really hard time with this particular part of getting married.

Oh, Bridezillas, what will you think of next? An article in the Telegraph (U.K.) says that one in five brides-to-be is so concerned that her bridesmaids won’t be up to snuff on the big day that she would ask them to sign written “pre-nuptial agreements”, according to a new poll, while 48 per cent said they would fire a bridesmaid who failed to stick to the rules. So what exactly are these rules? Gaining any weight before the wedding and getting pregnant are among the no-no’s, because everyone knows that a wedding day is the bride’s big day and no one, NO ONE, will steal her thunder or make the ceremony a fat fest! Honestly, though, I am confused. I thought bride’s liked their bridesmaids to be a lil’ on the dumpy side so that they stood out as the hottest chick there in comparison? Isn’t that the basis for hideous bridesmaids’ dresses? Who cares if your cousin Sue puts on 10lbs because she’s depressed and lonely? I’m kidding. My bridesmaids, should I decide to inflict the cost of the honor upon any of my friends, can be any size they want and I’ll even make sure to pick out totally cute dresses for them—so long as they plan a killer bachelorette party. [Telegraph U.K.]