Tag Archives: bride

Hitched: The Future Bride Onesie Is Coming For Your Children

Yesterday in Austin, Texas, a city I’m very proud to call home, 250 people gathered on the south steps of the state capitol for a nice round of bigoted back-patting, peppered with lines like this, from state senator Donna Campbell: “They want to redefine marriage between a natural man and natural woman the same way they want to redefine the Constitution.”

This, of course, while the Supreme Court was hearing arguments on same-sex marriage.

“Our core values are being attacked on a daily basis,” Campbell told the crowd.

I like that line, about “core values” that are “being attacked,” because if there’s one thing that gives me a little pleasure when thinking about people like Donna Campbell, and others who would deny civil rights to all Americans because something something Jesus, it’s the thought that maybe they stay up at night seriously worried that the gays, or whoever Donna Campbell thinks “they” might be, are coming for her values and children, cowering beneath their quilted comforters.

Maybe that thought is funny to me because things like the “Future Bride” baby onesie exist in the world. If anyone is coming for your children, it is hyper-normative heterosexuals who can’t even wait for a little girl to get out of goddamned diapers before casting her as a sexual being. Keep reading »

Swoon: Pinky La Pain’s Roller Derby Bridal Shoot

Roller derby girls are the coolest. So you know that when a derby girl Pinky La Pain (real name: Sarah Hamrick) from the Greensboro Roller Derby League was getting hitched, it was going to be amazing.

With the help of local photographers Frayed Edge Photography, Pinky’s team, The Battleground Betties, and their arch nemeses/friends The Mad Dollies suited up for a derby-themed bridal suit. It’s feminine and tough in the coolest of ways. I especially love the juxtaposition of the French manicured nails over the beat-up helmet. Click through to see a bunch more of Pinky’s pics! [Frayed Edge Concepts via Buzzfeed]

Is This The Most Annoying Bride In The World?

The Pinterest Bride
Pinterest wedding
Planning a wedding with Pinterest? Total nightmare! Read More »
I Hate Weddings
Here are a bunch of reasons why. Read More »
Are You A Bridezilla?
Here are 15 signs the answer is "yes." Read More »
"I wanna ride bikes with you?"

First off, apologies for the crap quality of this video: the original was taken down, but thankfully (?) someone was able to make a second copy. This clip features a bride named Jacquelyn who is professing her love to her husband  Todd Evan Krieger. The video was presented to Todd — who she refers to as Tadeo — at the couple’s recent wedding, and then somehow it made it to Huffington Post’s wedding page, where it was then picked up by Buzzfeed and Gawker. Both sites seem to think this video is a sign that the apocalypse is nigh or something, and refer to it as “the worst thing in the entire universe.” But I don’t know, I didn’t think it was that bad. Sure, it’s kind of annoying that this woman felt she had to put this up on YouTube, rather than just share it with her husband, but she certainly shouldn’t be totally vilified for it. Though yes, the song is really long and annoying.

Singing Bride Is Clearly Onto Something

Wedding Survival Guide
It's wedding season! Here's how to get through it. Read More »
Are You A Bridezilla?
Here are 15 signs the answer is "yes." Read More »
The Worst Bride?

Ladies, maybe we’re all doing something wrong. I say that because after watching this video of this obviously batcrackers woman walking down the aisle while singing Christina Aguilera’s “The Right Man,” I wonder if we are simply not acting crazy enough. I mean, this woman got married, y’all. She found a man who loves her. And she found an entire room full of people who were willing to sit through her serenading her fiance during her wedding and manage to not laugh at her. That’s pretty amazing. So, hmm, maybe she’s out of her mind, but she’s clearly doing something right.

Etsy Spotlight: 10 Beautiful Bridal Hair Accessories For $50 Or Less

It’s that time of year again: wedding season. If you’re a bride looking for the perfect hair accessory to top off your look, you probably know how many options are out there, and how many stores seem to think that the using the word “bridal” in a product description allows them to charge $300 for a glorified bobby pin. But don’t worry–this is why Etsy exists. Click through to check out 10 gorgeous one-of-a-kind designs, all handmade by Etsy artisans, all for $50 or less!

Budget Wedding Tips
How to throw a cheap, beautiful wedding. Read More »
Wedding Survival Guide
It's wedding season! Here's how to get through it. Read More »

Hitched: Why I Didn’t Have A “Real” Bachelorette Party

“But Andie, it’s your last chance at freedom!”

This is what my father told me when I informed him that I wouldn’t have a bachelorette party, and instead would go camping with Patrick and all our best Texas friends.

My dad was disappointed that his daughter wouldn’t be vomiting behind a strip club at 3 a.m. But I just got back from a wonderful camping weekend, and I’m confident in saying that I don’t feel any less “free” for opting not to spend a few hours in close proximity to a banana thong. Keep reading »

Meet Dana Jackson, A 100-Year-Old Bride

Watch Video

On February 6th, Dana Jackson turned 100 years old, and she celebrated by marrying her boyfriend Bill Strauss, 87, at the Rosewood Health Care Center in Kentucky. This sweet 2-minute video gives us a glimpse into the details of a centennial wedding, from Dana’s bachelorette party (sparkling grape juice was served) to a sweet interview with Bill, who is legally blind. “When she comes down the aisle, all I can do is imagine it,” he says, “because I won’t be able to see her til she’s just a couple of feet away.” [via Youtube]

Hitched: The Reluctant Groom

What "Wife" Means
The connotations of the word "wife" worry bride-to-be Andrea Grimes. Read More »

“Grooms get in free!”

That’s the generous offer from Austin Monthly, my local glossy society rag, for its “Couture, Cakes and Cufflinks,” uh, “Bridal Bash.” There’s nothing particularly unusual about this kind of shill party, and that’s what makes it particularly offensive. It’s every disgusting wedding narrative rolled into one day-long event that women are actually expected to pay to attend.

There’s so much to hate about mainstream wedding culture — the consumerism, the gender policing, the fucking consumerism, the body-shaming, did I mention the consumerism? — but perhaps the wedding-related narrative that pisses me off more than any other is the idea that men are incapable of being interested in weddings and must be coddled and babied so that their delicate wedding-hating sensibilities are not offended. Keep reading »

Girl Talk: Maybe I’m Not Bridesmaid Material

Bachelorette Party
One writer talks about how a bachelorette weekend made her question the practice. Read More »
Bridesmaid =Expensive
Being a bridesmaid drained this woman's bank account. Read More »

“So, this is awkward,” said the email from my friend, the bride. “But I’ve decided to keep my bridesmaids to just really close friends.”

She had three bridesmaids. I was the third. Apparently, she only had two really close friends, and I was not one of them.

“Wait,” I wrote back. “Why?”

“I don’t really feel like I need to explain myself to you,” she replied.

Oh. Keep reading »

Bride Arrested For Brawling With Wedding Guests

It’s a nice day for a fight wedding. Over the weekend, 28-year-old bride Angela Davito was arrested at her own wedding. Apparently, some uninvited guests showed up at the reception and started dirty dancing with the bride. This pissed off the groom, and a full-out brawl broke out. The police were called and tried to stop the fighting. When they were unsuccessful, they doused the reception in pepper spray. Firefighters came in to treat guests for pepper spray exposure.

Oh, but it got worse. Keep reading »