Important life lesson: if you’ve got two sacks of silicone dangling from your chest, do not put yourself near things flying through the air at 190 mph. Sadly, that is a lesson that one 26-year-old woman in the UK had to learn firsthand. This young filly was shot in the breast while playing paintball and saw a doctor a few days later when the pain had not subsided. It turns out her breast implant had ruptured from the force of the paintball, which is allegedly the first-recorded injury of this kind. UKPaintball in South London, the scene of the crime, is keen for this incident to be the last. “We want to ensure nothing like this happens ever again,” a spokesman told The Sun UK. “We’re now providing additional padding around the chest region to any surgically enhanced female participants. They just need to contact their local venue, tell them they have fake breasts, let them know their bra size and then the centre will take care of the rest.” I cannot tell if that last part is tongue-in-cheek. Do they really think women want to be known around the paintball field as The Chick With Fake Boobs Who Needs Extra Padding? [The Sun UK] Keep reading »
Sure, Etsy is a great place to purchase Justin Bieber Unicorn Fan Art and ritual tunics with Celtic trim, but did you know you could also acquire a mighty fine set of boobies on the crafting site? That’s right: Etsy seller BoobsRUs fashions comfy, plush boob pillows to rest your own set of tatas on. At a mere $40 for a pair — with optional pink or brown nipples — these boobs are way cheaper than a set of implants and require NO recuperation time! [$40. Etsy] Keep reading »
Breast implants are safe … kind of …. according to a new report by the Food and Drug Administration that declares silicone boob jobs have an expiration date of five to 10 years. “Breast implants are not lifetime devices,” the report says. “The longer a woman has silicone gel-filled breast implants, the more likely she is to experience complications.” The biggest complications — ick, ick, ick! — are tissue hardening around the implant or the implant rupturing and leaking into a woman’s body. Statistics about how often fake titties are removed are surprising: The FDA also noted that 1 in 5 women who get breast implants (regardless of whether its for cosmetic reasons or reconstruction surgery) will need another operation in 10 years. When a woman gets implants for cosmetic reasons — which the American Society of Plastic Surgeon acknowledges is the primary reason women get boob jobs — there’s a 1-in-5 chance they’ll need to be removed within 10 years. And when her implants are part of a reconstruction, such as after a mastectomy, there’s a 1-in-2 chance the implants will need to be removed within five years. In other words, instead of looking at a boob job as something to keep your girls perky until you die, think of plastic surgery as a temporary investment. Or just a risk. [AFP] Keep reading »
“It just feels like the thing running our country is a bank, money. I know it sounds like an intense viewpoint, but I’m only slowly but surely getting the wool taken off my eyes. When I was a kid, I asked questions about my faith. Now I’m asking questions about the world. I think we are largely in desperate need of revolutionary change in the way our mindset is. Our priority is fame, and people’s wellness is way low. I say this knowing full well that I’m a part of the problem. I’m playing the game, though I am trying to reroute. Anyway, not to get all politically divulging and introspective, but the fact that America doesn’t have free health care drives me f**king absolutely crazy, and is so wrong.”
—Katy Perry shows her philosophical side in a new interview with Rolling Stone. Perry and Justin Bieber both think the U.S. should have universal health care. Sigh. Why can’t we get Congress to agree?
After the jump, Perry talks about those big old ta-tas of hers: Keep reading »
A former Dallas Cowboys Cheerleader has founded a website called BreastaurantUniforms.com, where restaurateurs can get help turning “any restaurant into a breastaurant!”
There are a number of reasons I am not excited about making the world a more receptive place for breastaurants. Keep reading »
“It’s so bizarre that people are constantly asking if my breasts are real or fake. They’re so obviously real that anyone who’s ever seen or touched a breast would know.”
— Christina Hendricks is in the unenviable position of repeatedly answering questions about her boobs. But she’s also in the enviable position of having Christina Hendricks’ boobs, so that about evens out, right? [Daily Mail UK]
Keep reading »
Ah, boobs. On a good day they look gorgeous, make us feel womanly and sexy, and perhaps even feed a baby. But on a bad day, they’re sensitive to the touch, totally difficult to keep under wraps, and amongst the more well-endowed ladies, give us an aching back. I have average-sized boobs myself, but I’ve heard many a big-breasted lady say again and again that her boobs are killing her. Plenty of women even undergo breast reduction surgery.
With that in mind, here’s something I’ll never understood: the small group of women with with cup sizes in the middle reaches of the alphabet, who vie for the title of “world’s largest breasts.” Keep reading »
Wondering what would your breasts look like if they were bigger? There’s an app for that! iAugment is a Photoshop-style iPhone app that uses a 3D pic of your chest to show you how you’d look with bigger jigglies. iAugment allows you to view 17 different breast implant sizes — from “Blake Lively goes softcore” to “Sheyla Hershey circus boobs.” (Just kidding, they’re not really called that.) Created by plastic surgeon Elizabeth Kinsley from New Orleans, the iAugment app claims to help women decide if they really want a boob job. In reality, I think we all know that
14-year-old boys every adult man we know is going to digitally play with their lady friend’s boobs on iAugment ad nauseum. Amiright, boys? [Daily Mail UK] Keep reading »
File under: Problems we didn’t even know we could have. The La Decollette bra doesn’t look like a normal bra. It’s built with the bra cups cut out, and a wide swathe of fabric running up the middle of your chest. And you don’t wear it when you’re out and about — it’s to be worn at night, as a way of preventing something called “cleavage wrinkles.” Cleavage wrinkles are caused when your girls are pushed together too much in an uncontrolled way, so the La Decollette is supposed to manage their spacing while you sleep. Now that that problem’s solved, can we move on to finding a solution for hat head? [La Decollette] Keep reading »