So what’s the difference between saying that the 2012 Pirelli calendar features a boatload of naked models looking smoking hot, and saying the 2012 Pirelli calendar features a crapton of nude models looking friggin’ sexy? Well, according to the art historian Kenneth Clark:
To be naked is to be deprived of our clothes, and the word implies some of the embarrassment most of us feel in that condition. The word “nude,” on the other hand, carries, in educated usage, no uncomfortable overtone. The vague image it projects into the mind is not of a huddled and defenseless body, but of a balanced, prosperous, and confident body: the body re-formed.
And all this is to say that though they may look naked, the girls in the 2012 Pirelli calendar — shot by Mario Sorrenti — are nude. But you don’t really care, do you? You just want to see what Kate Moss looks like without all of her clothes on. Well, fine, so do we. But beware, this gallery is full of boobs (so many boobs!), is pretty full frontal, and entirely NSFW.
If fear of lung cancer or emphysema isn’t enough to make you quit smoking, do it for your nipples. Apparently, nicotine and carbon monoxide restrict blood flow to various parts of the body … like your nipples. According to plastic surgeon, Anthony Youn, M. D., smokers who undergo breast surgery are at great risk for having their nipples “turn black and fall off.” They just die. Guh! Youn once tried to bring a patient’s purple (about to turn black) nipples back to life by placing leeches on them. “The leech drains the old blood, causing it to turn from unhealthy purple back to healthy pink. We place leeches intermittently until the body part grows new blood vessels to do the leeches’ work,” Youn recalled. The image of this entire scenario is terrifying. [CNN]
I’ve never particularly wanted to see Tori Spelling‘s boobs. But thanks to her husband Dean McDermott, now we all can! Last night, he innocently tweeted a photo of his and Tori’s young son in a funny moment with something stuck to his head. Alas, upon further inspection, Tori’s naked boobs are visible in the background! In fact, no further inspection is required — they are blatantly right there. This photo raises many questions for me. First of all, why is she randomly topless? And why did Dean post this? The photo has since been removed without comment from Dean, so we may never know why he shared her ta-tas with the world. Russell Brand’s Twitpic last year of Katy Perry’s makeup-free face seems positively unremarkable in comparison (mostly because no nipples were involved). [TMZ]
Holly Madison is starring in “Peepshow,” and fully recognizes that her breasts are her “primary money makers” right now. That’s why she has taken out an insurance policy to the tune of $1 million with insurance company Lloyd’s of London to protect them. “I’ve heard about people getting body parts insured and I thought, why not?, because if anything happened to my boobs, I’d be out for a few months and I’d probably be out a million dollars,” she said. “I thought I’d cover my assets.” [People]
After the jump, some other celebs with very valuable body parts.
Important life lesson: if you’ve got two sacks of silicone dangling from your chest, do not put yourself near things flying through the air at 190 mph. Sadly, that is a lesson that one 26-year-old woman in the UK had to learn firsthand. This young filly was shot in the breast while playing paintball and saw a doctor a few days later when the pain had not subsided. It turns out her breast implant had ruptured from the force of the paintball, which is allegedly the first-recorded injury of this kind. UKPaintball in South London, the scene of the crime, is keen for this incident to be the last. “We want to ensure nothing like this happens ever again,” a spokesman told The Sun UK. “We’re now providing additional padding around the chest region to any surgically enhanced female participants. They just need to contact their local venue, tell them they have fake breasts, let them know their bra size and then the centre will take care of the rest.” I cannot tell if that last part is tongue-in-cheek. Do they really think women want to be known around the paintball field as The Chick With Fake Boobs Who Needs Extra Padding? [The Sun UK] Keep reading »
Sure, Etsy is a great place to purchase Justin Bieber Unicorn Fan Art and ritual tunics with Celtic trim, but did you know you could also acquire a mighty fine set of boobies on the crafting site? That’s right: Etsy seller BoobsRUs fashions comfy, plush boob pillows to rest your own set of tatas on. At a mere $40 for a pair — with optional pink or brown nipples — these boobs are way cheaper than a set of implants and require NO recuperation time! [$40. Etsy] Keep reading »