The world laughed when Heidi Montag said that she felt like she was trapped in her own body because of her enormo breast implants. But I totally understand what she’s talking about.
At 25, I had lost a large amount of weight and my body fat percentage was drastically reduced in a short period of time. This worked wonders for my ass, but wreaked havoc on my chest. I remarked to my girlfriends one night after a few too many drinks that I had tiger nipples. This description, complete with claws and roaring noises, was a reference to the stretch marks that cut deep swaths in my once firm skin. I was in an unhealthy relationship at the time and at the urging of my partner, I decided to do something about my prematurely sagging breasts. Keep reading »
Pinktober — I mean, October — has been taken over as Breast Cancer Awareness Month, a worthy cause that’s opportunistically hijacked to promote everything for 31 days straight. Why, just this morning I received a press release from HerCampus.com about essays that six women wrote about their bras sizes “in honor” of Breast Cancer Awareness Month! Sorry, what does an essay about your 36DD tatas have to do with “honoring” breast cancer again? I’m not the only one skeptical of consumer pink-washing during “Pinktober” … Keep reading »
There are plenty of things to say about golden girl Meghan McCain, 26, who has parlayed being John McCain‘s daughter into a full-time job: She writes a column for The Daily Beast, has written a new book called Dirty Sexy Politics, and has a gig on ABC’s “This Week.” After she called Delaware senatorial candidate Christine O’Donnell a “nutjob” this Sunday on “This Week,” Meghan provoked the ire of more hard-line Republicans and their cohorts.
Did they go after her bad manners for calling a public figure a nutjob? Did they go after her family connections? No, they took sexist potshots at her big boobs. Keep reading »
Remember the boob scarf? We know we do. Well, what’s the fun in parading around with a scarf that looks like boobs without a matching boob scarf for your dog? Thankfully, Etsy seller boobs R us has the solution. I am sure this is the canine accessory every dog owner has been looking for. Note: “You can also choose to have Vanilla Cream OR Chocolate colored boobs, with Pink OR Tan nipples!” You can even get your dog’s name on one of the boobs for no extra charge. [Style Council] Keep reading »
Boobies in 3D. How could bra manufacturers have not thought of this earlier? It seems unreal, but Wonderbra just introduced their first 3D breasts billboard in London. Onlookers require 3DD (get it?) glasses to fully enjoy the Full Effect Wonderbra, which claims to boost your girls up another two cup sizes. For us poor souls without the special spectacles, the WonderBra ad is just a slightly blurry image of Brazilian model Sabraine Banando — not that anyone will complain.
Clever, yes, but we’re of the opinion that the less boob-age we see in any dimension in public, the more novel it is in private. [AdRants] Keep reading »