My older brother is getting married to a girl I legitimately like. I’m happy for them. Really, I am. Keep that in mind as I make the following statement: Their wedding and all the surrounding events make me want to hurl. It’s not so much the constant “So what about you? Is there a boyfriend?” questioning I’ve come to expect from family, our friends and people I’ve not seen since I was maybe two feet tall. It’s the dresses. Cocktail dresses for the busty and hippy are a difficult thing to come by. Usually, it’s a shapeless mess of a tent dress or a slutty problem of a form-fitting one.
You, however, can learn from my years of double-D drama. Use these tips to find a happy medium that you’re not quite literally busting out of. Keep reading »
I am a busty lady, and what might suck most about it is never finding a supportive sports bra—I’ve always had to wear two to make sure the Boobsey Twins stay in place when I’m on a run or working out. While there are solutions out there for C, D, and larger cupped ladies, I find a lot of these bras are either made for women who also have larger bodies or they’re simply so freakin’ ugly that I just can’t bring myself to wear what looks like some t-shirt flotation device. My latest discovery is this Adidas “Simia” sports bra with underwire (underwire—thank you!). It also has all the makings of a sturdy workout garment—molded cups, wide straps and a hooked back closure. How about that. [$40, ShopAdidas.com] Keep reading »
Now here’s a dilemma I’ve never had to worry about since l was 12 and grew size-C boobs one night in the middle of 7th grade: to wear a bra or not to wear a bra? See, even after breast reduction surgery when I was 19, I still can’t fathom actually going braless out in public. I rarely even feel comfortable enough to free-ball it in the privacy of my own home (my boobs at 33 simply aren’t what — or where — they were 10 years ago). That isn’t to say I’m not a little jealous of women who don’t have to wear a bra. When I read that quote from Christina Applegate about the, uh, perk of going braless since getting implants after her double mastectomy for breast cancer, I thought, Well, at least there’s one upside! But then, I still have to wonder, just because a woman feels she can go braless, does that mean it’s appropriate? Keep reading »
Did you see this chick who uses her funbags as a purse? Man, she can cram a lot of junk in her set. I am also a fan of putting my Grand Titons, a natural resource, to good use. In fact, I like to call my pair “nature’s pockets” because cleavage is a great place to keep a wad of cash or even your cell phone. Hey, use what ya got, right?! So, to help inspire your tittie committee to think out of the box, here are 21 things your boobs can do for you… Keep reading »
This past weekend I was telling a friend that I was headed to J.Crew this week to try to on wedding dresses. I know without trying one gown on, with a dress that emotionally loaded, I’ll never find something that makes me go OMFG-this-is-the-ONE. I’m too picky, and even though I’ve been known to spend a ridiculous $500-plus on a cocktail dress, there’s something about dropping thousands on a dress I’ll surely only wear once that makes me cringe. My friend replied, “Oh, I love their dresses but have you seen my boobs? J.Crew dresses just aren’t made for people with bigger chests, so I could never wear their bridal gowns.” And after a split second of thought, I mentally agreed, Yeah, she’s 100 percent dead-on with that. Keep reading »
According to a new study, today’s girls are reaching for bras about a year earlier than they did 15 years ago. Yep, for some reason, it looks like girls are going through puberty much earlier than they did generations ago. Young women who blossom early are more likely to have problems with breast cancer, depression, and substance abuse, not to mention the fact that they have to spend more money on tampons and deal with more menstrual cramps over the course of a lifetime. So what’s going on here? Keep reading »
Photographer Jordan Matter’s new coffee table book, Uncovered: Women In Word and Image, was just released, and it features more than 80 New York women baring their breasts in public (legal in NYC). The project came about after “Nipplegate” — when Janet Jackson “exposed” her nipple on the Super Bowl halftime show — and, “I got to thinking about our culture of covering up.” In an interview with Cosmopolitan, Matter says, “The book became less political and much more about the empowerment that the women would feel. The photo subjects found the option of not covering up to be incredibly liberating.” Matter chose a wide variety of different women with different body types and breast sizes for the project, which makes the images especially compelling. [Amazon] Keep reading »
We know we’re supposed to head to the lady doctor once a year for a gyno and breast exam to catch any signs of cancer early. But these days, women can even go one step further—they can get genetic testing. Women who get tested for BRCA gene mutations will know if they are 60% more likely to develop breast and/or ovarian cancer over the course of their lives. It’s a great step in cancer prediction and prevention, but for women who test positive it also presents serious issues and some heavy decision-making. [CNN] Keep reading »
I have something in common with Lauren Hutton and writer Peggy Orenstein. I accept the gap between my two front teeth. After three sets of braces when I was younger and years without a retainer, I can still look a dentist and my reflection in the eye and say, “I like my smile the way it is.” It’s a trademark passed down to me by my mother.
But while I’m able to embrace my gap, a couple of scars, and other “flaws,” I’m still unable to come to terms with the cruel joke DNA has played on me. You see, I’ve always wanted boobs and figured I had a pretty good chance of getting them because ample bosoms run on both sides of my family. Keep reading »
Are you tired of useless products and having big boobies? Well, The Kush can finally solve both your problems and put you to sleep! Uh, that is so long as you can sleep while getting tittie humped by a $55 piece of plastic. Sweet dreams!
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