“I lay on my back one night and looked down at my feet, and I prayed to God. I said, ‘God, will you please let me have boobs so big that I can’t see my feet when I’m lying down? God answered my prayers. I had no clue they would fall into my armpits eventually.”
God works in mysterious ways. Katy Perry reveals in the February issue of GQ that when she was 11 (and still hugely involved in her parents’ evangelical Christianity), she prayed that God would grant her an enormous rack. I wonder if Katy was reading a lot of Judy Blume at that time, like, Are You There God? It’s Me, Margaret. This is like, Are You There God? It’s Me, Katy. God was listening that day indeed. [GQ]
Breast implant technology is growing by leaps and bounds (just like those cup sizes, I know you bros hear me), and a company called Establishment Labs has announced its latest innovation: a breast implant with a microchip that would make medical care significantly easier for implant havers.
The Motiva Implant Matrix Ergonomix (name of implant, not a blender as I originally suspected) contains a “radio frequency identification (RFID) microchip that gives doctors and patients easier access to information about the implants, including their serial number, manufacturer name and other data.” They’ll be sold in 28 European countries, although no word yet on when these knockers will be available in the US. Read more on The Gloss…
Birthdays in the Carey-Cannon house sure are a lot of fun. There’s cake, party hats, and sharing your breasts with all of Twitter! In celebration of Nick Cannon’s 33rd birthday today, wifey Mariah tweeted a picture of her black bra-clad breasts underneath an unbuttoned shirt, her face seductively turned off to one side. Sure beats a new set of golf clubs, huh, Nick?
These two are so cute it’s almost nauseating (almost — hey, at least someone in Hollywood is still in love!). But I really feel bad for their twins Monroe and Morroccan when they get older. You know Nick and Mariah are going to be the ones whose kids are constantly going, “Ew, MOM AND DAD, GROSS!” [TooFab]
We’ve all got to pay rent somehow. Kristy Love from Atlanta, Georgia, uses her 48NN boobs — but not the way you think. Love is a “busty masseuse” who smothers and massages clients with her large breasts. Keep reading »
Lucy Eades was at the Burleson Recreation Center in Texas with her husband and 16-day-old infant waiting for their older daughter to finish her dance class when the baby became hungry. Eades breastfeeds and damn well knows that it is her legal right in Texas to breastfeed in a public place. An employee, however, did not feel as comfortable about Eades nursing her baby and decided to take the law into her own hands. Watch Eades tell this lady what’s up. DAMN STRAIGHT. [Jezebel; Huffington Post]
When Jackie Johnson-Smith’s child began to cry during dinner at Fong’s Pizza in Iowa, as you might expect, she fed the child and then exited the restaurant to avoid disturbing other diners. Johnson-Smith happens to breastfeed her baby, a practice that is often met with a lot of opposition in public. This time, however, she was thanked by her waitress in the form of a free pizza. Keep reading »
Boobs are great for a lot of things. But as anyone who has at least average-sized breasts has probably noticed, sports are not one of those things. Breasts pose a problem for athletes for several reasons. First, they are extra weight to slow down competitors. Boobs can get in the way of a golf, tennis, or volleyball swing. They also bounce and accelerate at a different speed from the rest of the body. This bouncing is not only painful, but can also be embarrassing, especially for girls going through puberty. That’s probably one reason why there is such a decline in female athletic participation from the beginning of middle school to the end of high school.
Take ESPN’s tale: Katherine Switzer became the first woman to compete in the Boston Marathon in 1967 when the sports bra had yet to be invented. She was warned that the repetitive motion could cause her breasts to atrophy and her uterus to fall out of her vagina. Yikes! Obviously, this was a pile of crap. Neither of these things happened, but she was certainly uncomfortable running in just a standard fashion bra under a T-shirt. Nearly 50 years later, we have yet to perfect the sports bra so that women with larger cup sizes can compete in the sports that they love without complication.
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Last week, Madelyn Sheaffer went to Adventure Oasis Water Park in Independence, Missouri with her teenage daughter. Sheaffer, who recently lost 100 pounds, was proud to be wearing a bikini for the outing. The park officials, however, did not feel the same way.
While she was cooling off in the pool, two teenage employees approached her and asked her to put on some shorts or she would be asked to leave the park. She refused and continued to enjoy the day with her family. Sheaffer was then approached by a supervisor at the park who told her she had to put on both shorts and a shirt or leave because he found her attire too offensive for a family-friendly park. Sheaffer looked around the park only to see that there were plenty of other women wearing similar bikinis, yet she was the only one that was asked to cover up. Therefore, she again refused to leave. The supervisor called the police to escort Sheaffer out of the park. According to a post on Sheaffer’s Facebook page, even the police officers found the situation to be questionable. She wrote:
“We can’t actually say anything,” they said as we walked outside (as it is a city owned park) “… but I hope from the expressions on our face you can tell how we feel.” They were compassionate. They too, thought it was ridiculous.
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