The world laughed when Heidi Montag said that she felt like she was trapped in her own body because of her enormo breast implants. But I totally understand what she’s talking about.
At 25, I had lost a large amount of weight and my body fat percentage was drastically reduced in a short period of time. This worked wonders for my ass, but wreaked havoc on my chest. I remarked to my girlfriends one night after a few too many drinks that I had tiger nipples. This description, complete with claws and roaring noises, was a reference to the stretch marks that cut deep swaths in my once firm skin. I was in an unhealthy relationship at the time and at the urging of my partner, I decided to do something about my prematurely sagging breasts. Keep reading »
Earlier this summer, the world met Sheyla Hershey of Houston, Texas, who possesses the world’s biggest breasts. Sheyla’s knockers measure in at 38KKK, courtesy of some sketchy-sounding surgery that took place in Brazil because plastic surgery laws there are looser. Alas, Sheyla learned the hard way that carrying around a gallon of silicone in your ta- tas is dangerous when they developed a staph infection. Keep reading »
“Giving my self a soft tissue breast massage. Ladies we have to keep those implants soft.”
– Heidi Montag tweeted some useful advice to her Twitter followers yesterday. Thanks Heidi! [Twitter] Keep reading »
In America, the politicians act like big boobs. But in Venezuala, one politician is raffling them off. Gustavo Rojas is running as an alternate on the country’s General Assembly and is raffling off free breast implants at $6 a ticket to fundraise for his campaign. Rojas admitted his method of fundraising is unusual, but claimed it’s no different than raffling off a TV set. Hmm. The word I’d use would be “opportunistic”: According to the country’s Plastic Surgery Society, 30,000 people got breast implants in 2006. We’ll have to wait until the election at the end of September to find out if auctioning off a new pair of breasts is a bankable campaign strategy. [AP] Keep reading »
Over at Slate, advice columnist Dear Prudence tackles an epic question of breast proportions: Should a woman get a boob job because her boyfriend is a fan of all the big breasts that he sees in porn movies? “I am a B cup,” she writes, “and although he says he loves my body, he adds, ‘But I’d really like it if your breasts were larger.’” How’s she know that? He watches porn on the regular, because, he says, he prefers a different body type to hers. Oh, and she used to be a model. So. Yeah. Prudie suggests she ask her man if he’s interested in getting penis enlargement surgery, and then, maybe! And also tell him to basically shove it. And to not get implants. Which Prudie thinks will make him feel relieved. Which I am not so sure about. I guess I feel like if you are writing to an advice columnist about whether or not you should get breast implants because your boyfriend watches a lot of porn, you should spend less time writing to advice columnists and more time finding a new man. But, you know, I’m not an advice columnist. [Slate] Keep reading »