It’s always uncomfortable to receive a gift you don’t want. You remember your childhood birthday parties. Just smile and say thanks for the Barbie you already have! Boise man, Andy Thompson, found himself in an extremely awkward position when he won a $3,000 voucher for breast augmentation surgery. For Mardi Gras, a local bar was giving the boob job away as a Fat Tuesday door prize, and Thompson was the lucky winner. When asked what he plans to do with his new pair of boobs, the 37-year-old joked “I was thinking about going with a C cup, but I think a small A is good for me.” But seriously, Thompson doesn’t know “what the plan is” for his unwanted prize since there are “so many good options.” Keep reading »
We typically hear stories about the dangers of breast implants. Let’s take a moment to talk about the upside of breast implants: they can save your life.
At least, that’s the case for Canadian woman, Eileen Likness, who is eternally grateful for her decision to get breast implants. This past week, she testified that her fake boobs saved her life. When her ex-boyfriend, Fernando Chora, fired his gun at her point blank back in January of 2006, she claims that the “implants took the brunt of the force.” The bullet entered her right breast, grazed her chest and exited her body through her left breast. Her silicone implants were destroyed, but she lived to testify against her attacker … and eventually get a brand new set of breast implants. Hooray for her implants! [Huffington Post] Keep reading »
If there’s a lesson to be learned from Jami Lynn Toler, the Arizona woman accused of faking cancer to raise money for breast implants, it’s that some things are just not worth doing for fake boobs. The 27-year-old told her grandmother, her boss and dozens of other friends and family members that she needed money to get a double mastectomy and breast reconstruction surgery. She even went so far as to set up fake fundraisers and an online donation page. Toler raised $8,300, which she used to pay for her new pair of boobs. No, there was no cancer involved. It was a lie. For her crime, she was sentenced to a year in jail, three years probation and she will have to pay the victims back. Hmmm. Accepting you natural boobs or facing incarceration? I choose natural boobs! [NY Daily News]
Toler’s not the only woman who has done something incredibly stupid just to get implants. Click on to see what other dumb things women have done for bigger breasts. Ladies, so not worth it!
Bras, braces, makeup are all rites of passage for many teen girls. But if you’re a member of the Marshall family, so are boob jobs.
Britney Marshall, a 14-year-old from Nottinghamshire, England, is the youngest girl of the Marshall family and the only one without breast implants. Her mother, Chantal Marshall, told the Sun, “Britney is going through a funny phase at the moment and saying she doesn’t want to get her boobs done.”
And Marshall really wishes she would, telling the Sun:
“At the moment she doesn’t really have what I would say are boobs — but I’d like her to follow in her sisters’ footsteps… I really love the fake look of my girls and I know Britney will go that way when she’s a bit older.” Read more…
It turns out that fake butts and boobs are really versatile — and operate as great storage units. A 33-year-old Italian model was arrested and charged with smuggling more than five pounds of cocaine in her fake breasts and in her fake butt. Security officers stopped the woman at the airport after she failed to explain what she had been doing during her trip to South America. The woman apparently thought that wearing a tight fitting shirt would help get her through customs faster (ah, that old gem), but it only served to draw more attention to her, um, illegal assets. “They stopped her for questioning because she was so alluring and her story about why she was in South America just fell apart,” said Antonio Di Greco, police chief at Fiumicino airport. The woman, whose identity has been concealed, was charged with international drug trafficking and is currently being held at the Rome airport. So much for those implants paying for themselves. [SF Gate]
Attention, womenfolk, something new for you to fear: your body eating your breast implant! While stretching during a Pilates class, 59-year-old woman’s implant slipped through an incision from a recent heart valve surgery and lodged itself near her lung. Her doctors had cleared her for exercise after the heart surgery when the boob job strayed. So how did her breast implant get swallowed whole? One doctor interviewed by CBS News surmised that the stretching and breathing exercises in Pilates may have worked “like a vacuum” and “sucked in the implant.” Yummy! We’re glad to hear this lady’s doctors were able to snatch that wayward boobie and put it back in its place. [CBS News] Keep reading »
A 40-year-old woman in Moscow must be extremely happy with her decision to get silicon breast implants five years ago. And not just because her tatas look great in a tank top. Apparently, her implants saved her life. When she and her husband got in a fight earlier this week, he flew into a rage, picked up a knife and stabbed her in the left breast, apparently going for her heart. But because of her implants, the knife didn’t reach her vital organs. Her surgeon confirmed that if she hadn’t had a boob job, she would have died in the stabbing. Egads. [Gawker]
Bizarrely, this isn’t the first woman who owes her life to her implants. More cases after the jump.
Keep reading »
Some folks aren’t keen on plastic surgery to begin with. (Raises hand.) Other folks need a little negative reinforcement to remind them that getting sliced up by Dr. 90210 is not a decision to be made lightly. If you are considering plastic surgery of any kind, take a long, hard look at these six botched plastic surgeries and ask yourself, “Am I willing to join this slideshow?” And that goes double for you, Human Barbie Dolls!