A Japanese “scientist” claims he has composed a breast enhancing ringtone. According to Hideto Tomabechi, a woman can increase the size of her breasts in only 10 days if she listens to the ringtone 20 times every 24 hours. Sounds easy, but don’t get too excited just yet. The ring tone apparently has many layers of sound to stimulate breast tissue growth, but the predominate clamor is a baby shrieking. Actually, don’t get too excited period, as this seems to be one of the biggest/funniest cons in YouTube history. Watch this video to learn more about the “grow-your-boobs” ringtone, “convince-the-fat-from-your-butt-to-leave” ringtone, and something involving the Japanese police and cults.

Martina started posting photos of her naked breasts on her blog “Will They Grow?” (obviously NSFW) last week, in order to chart their growth now that she’s on birth control. After the jump, she tells us why and what she hopes to see happen.

Throughout the ages women have gone to great pains to get showstopping and eye-dropping cleavage. The corset was rough, stuffed-toilet paper bras were prone to discovery and the push-up bra is just a bit too obvious. According to the peeps from My Beautiful Breasts, however, your cleavage woes are over. This kit ain’t just your average bra-filling and lifting, ladies. We are talking about painting on your boobies, or lack thereof.

We’ve scene this trick before: use makeup to create contours on our bust line the same way we use bronzer to fake sharper cheekbones or those weird airbrushing techniques that create faux six-pack abs. Except, this ain’t just a wish of bronzer we are talking about. Eye shadow and blush come off pretty easy, but the bust stain can stay on for up to five days!  And, maybe I am just bitter because I can’t draw a stick figure, but painting-on your boobies sounds pretty complicated and complex. Chances are I would mess it up and have some pretty busted looking buhbies for a week.

I think I’ll just stick to toilet paper, thank you very much. [$69, My Beautiful Breasts Kit, ItCosmetics.com]

Kanye West has been charged with three misdemeanors for busting up a pap’s camera at LAX airport. Why can’t people just understand Kanye doesn’t have to follow rules, not even when it comes to fashion? [Dlisted]

Sean Combs finally explains the many forms of bitchazzness. And AIG makes the list. [Mediatakeout]

Madonna’s boy-toy Jesus Luz found himself a Mary Magdalene. While in Rio de Janeiro over the weekend, Jesus got really snug with lingerie model Luciana Costa. [Perez Hilton]

In a recent Sunday edition of a Gotham City newspaper, The Frisky’s very own Vixen of Verbiage, Simcha Whitehill, wrote about a new scientific study that suggests three cups of coffee a day can cause a woman’s breasts to shrink. Bravely, Simcha refused to give up her morning cup of liquid caffeine, even if it meant her rack might decrease in size from voluptuous to less voluptuous.

The study struck a nerve with women, who are as obsessed with their breasts as men are. And women are equally obsessed with the perceived male obsession over breasts. And we are obsessed. All men love boobs; we can’t help it. Before seemingly sensitive and enlightened male readers lambaste me for my sweeping gender generalizations, let me just say: Shut up, dudes. You love boobs, too. Even those of you who signed up for, and thoughtfully participated in, Women’s Studies classes in college … You just did it to pick up hot, feminist nerd girls.

Whether or not lil’ Ali Lohan had a boob job, it’s a totally duh-statement that many, many, many actresses go under the knife to fit the typical Hollywood bombshell mold. Not these ladies—and especially not Keira Knightly, who refuses to be digitally enhanced. After the jump, 10 actresses who have embraced their bee stings and said “no thanks” to silicone.