Breast implants are safe … kind of …. according to a new report by the Food and Drug Administration that declares silicone boob jobs have an expiration date of five to 10 years. “Breast implants are not lifetime devices,” the report says. “The longer a woman has silicone gel-filled breast implants, the more likely she is to experience complications.” The biggest complications — ick, ick, ick! — are tissue hardening around the implant or the implant rupturing and leaking into a woman’s body. Statistics about how often fake titties are removed are surprising: The FDA also noted that 1 in 5 women who get breast implants (regardless of whether its for cosmetic reasons or reconstruction surgery) will need another operation in 10 years. When a woman gets implants for cosmetic reasons — which the American Society of Plastic Surgeon acknowledges is the primary reason women get boob jobs — there’s a 1-in-5 chance they’ll need to be removed within 10 years. And when her implants are part of a reconstruction, such as after a mastectomy, there’s a 1-in-2 chance the implants will need to be removed within five years. In other words, instead of looking at a boob job as something to keep your girls perky until you die, think of plastic surgery as a temporary investment. Or just a risk. [AFP] Keep reading »
It figures a mother who made headlines when she taught her six-year-old daughter to pole dance would find another way to make the news: Sarah Burge of the UK gave her girl, Poppy, a voucher for breast implants on her 7th birthday. Burge, who is known as “the Human Barbie” for her slavish devotion to her plasticine looks, said Poppy can cash in her boob job after she turns 16 and her natural boobs have grown in. Do I even need to write about how promising an elementary schooler that she can get a boob job is really f**ked up? No? Cool.
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Wondering what would your breasts look like if they were bigger? There’s an app for that! iAugment is a Photoshop-style iPhone app that uses a 3D pic of your chest to show you how you’d look with bigger jigglies. iAugment allows you to view 17 different breast implant sizes — from “Blake Lively goes softcore” to “Sheyla Hershey circus boobs.” (Just kidding, they’re not really called that.) Created by plastic surgeon Elizabeth Kinsley from New Orleans, the iAugment app claims to help women decide if they really want a boob job. In reality, I think we all know that
14-year-old boys every adult man we know is going to digitally play with their lady friend’s boobs on iAugment ad nauseum. Amiright, boys? [Daily Mail UK] Keep reading »
Big fake titties? American politicians can’t get enough of ‘em. But Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez is firmly anti-breast implants. Speaking on a United Nations summit on great racks a state-run television station, Chavez railed against plastic surgeons who “convince some women that if they don’t have some big bosoms they should feel bad.” Chavez added that some women in Venezuela, where the breast implant business is booming, will get plastic surgery even if they’re struggling to make ends meet, which he called a “monstrous thing.” Hmm, I guess the president is not a fan of Venezuelan beauty pageants, then.
The Frisky called the White House for a comment on Obama’s stance on fake boobs. We have yet to hear back by press time. [TIME] Keep reading »
I step into the doctor’s office for a simple checkup and want the highest drugs possible to knock me out. But some women are getting breast implants and staying wide awake during the invasive surgery. Yowza! Said Kelly McCoy of Plano, Texas, a 23-year-old who had her B-cup breasts enlarged to C-cups, “Just the fact that I don’t have to undergo general anesthesia and the fact that I get to have a hand in seeing what the end result is going to be was like a huge selling point to me.” Apparently, not getting anesthesia is worth being able to give “final approval” to your plastic surgeon while you’re under the knife. So, how painful is undergoing plastic surgery while wide awake? Keep reading »