It turns out that fake butts and boobs are really versatile — and operate as great storage units. A 33-year-old Italian model was arrested and charged with smuggling more than five pounds of cocaine in her fake breasts and in her fake butt. Security officers stopped the woman at the airport after she failed to explain what she had been doing during her trip to South America. The woman apparently thought that wearing a tight fitting shirt would help get her through customs faster (ah, that old gem), but it only served to draw more attention to her, um, illegal assets. “They stopped her for questioning because she was so alluring and her story about why she was in South America just fell apart,” said Antonio Di Greco, police chief at Fiumicino airport. The woman, whose identity has been concealed, was charged with international drug trafficking and is currently being held at the Rome airport. So much for those implants paying for themselves. [SF Gate]
Attention, womenfolk, something new for you to fear: your body eating your breast implant! While stretching during a Pilates class, 59-year-old woman’s implant slipped through an incision from a recent heart valve surgery and lodged itself near her lung. Her doctors had cleared her for exercise after the heart surgery when the boob job strayed. So how did her breast implant get swallowed whole? One doctor interviewed by CBS News surmised that the stretching and breathing exercises in Pilates may have worked “like a vacuum” and “sucked in the implant.” Yummy! We’re glad to hear this lady’s doctors were able to snatch that wayward boobie and put it back in its place. [CBS News] Keep reading »
A 40-year-old woman in Moscow must be extremely happy with her decision to get silicon breast implants five years ago. And not just because her tatas look great in a tank top. Apparently, her implants saved her life. When she and her husband got in a fight earlier this week, he flew into a rage, picked up a knife and stabbed her in the left breast, apparently going for her heart. But because of her implants, the knife didn’t reach her vital organs. Her surgeon confirmed that if she hadn’t had a boob job, she would have died in the stabbing. Egads. [Gawker]
Bizarrely, this isn’t the first woman who owes her life to her implants. More cases after the jump.
Keep reading »
Some folks aren’t keen on plastic surgery to begin with. (Raises hand.) Other folks need a little negative reinforcement to remind them that getting sliced up by Dr. 90210 is not a decision to be made lightly. If you are considering plastic surgery of any kind, take a long, hard look at these six botched plastic surgeries and ask yourself, “Am I willing to join this slideshow?” And that goes double for you, Human Barbie Dolls!
Important life lesson: if you’ve got two sacks of silicone dangling from your chest, do not put yourself near things flying through the air at 190 mph. Sadly, that is a lesson that one 26-year-old woman in the UK had to learn firsthand. This young filly was shot in the breast while playing paintball and saw a doctor a few days later when the pain had not subsided. It turns out her breast implant had ruptured from the force of the paintball, which is allegedly the first-recorded injury of this kind. UKPaintball in South London, the scene of the crime, is keen for this incident to be the last. “We want to ensure nothing like this happens ever again,” a spokesman told The Sun UK. “We’re now providing additional padding around the chest region to any surgically enhanced female participants. They just need to contact their local venue, tell them they have fake breasts, let them know their bra size and then the centre will take care of the rest.” I cannot tell if that last part is tongue-in-cheek. Do they really think women want to be known around the paintball field as The Chick With Fake Boobs Who Needs Extra Padding? [The Sun UK] Keep reading »
Breast implants are safe … kind of …. according to a new report by the Food and Drug Administration that declares silicone boob jobs have an expiration date of five to 10 years. “Breast implants are not lifetime devices,” the report says. “The longer a woman has silicone gel-filled breast implants, the more likely she is to experience complications.” The biggest complications — ick, ick, ick! — are tissue hardening around the implant or the implant rupturing and leaking into a woman’s body. Statistics about how often fake titties are removed are surprising: The FDA also noted that 1 in 5 women who get breast implants (regardless of whether its for cosmetic reasons or reconstruction surgery) will need another operation in 10 years. When a woman gets implants for cosmetic reasons — which the American Society of Plastic Surgeon acknowledges is the primary reason women get boob jobs — there’s a 1-in-5 chance they’ll need to be removed within 10 years. And when her implants are part of a reconstruction, such as after a mastectomy, there’s a 1-in-2 chance the implants will need to be removed within five years. In other words, instead of looking at a boob job as something to keep your girls perky until you die, think of plastic surgery as a temporary investment. Or just a risk. [AFP] Keep reading »
It figures a mother who made headlines when she taught her six-year-old daughter to pole dance would find another way to make the news: Sarah Burge of the UK gave her girl, Poppy, a voucher for breast implants on her 7th birthday. Burge, who is known as “the Human Barbie” for her slavish devotion to her plasticine looks, said Poppy can cash in her boob job after she turns 16 and her natural boobs have grown in. Do I even need to write about how promising an elementary schooler that she can get a boob job is really f**ked up? No? Cool.
Keep reading »
Wondering what would your breasts look like if they were bigger? There’s an app for that! iAugment is a Photoshop-style iPhone app that uses a 3D pic of your chest to show you how you’d look with bigger jigglies. iAugment allows you to view 17 different breast implant sizes — from “Blake Lively goes softcore” to “Sheyla Hershey circus boobs.” (Just kidding, they’re not really called that.) Created by plastic surgeon Elizabeth Kinsley from New Orleans, the iAugment app claims to help women decide if they really want a boob job. In reality, I think we all know that
14-year-old boys every adult man we know is going to digitally play with their lady friend’s boobs on iAugment ad nauseum. Amiright, boys? [Daily Mail UK] Keep reading »