Plastic surgeons have reached a truly DIY medical breakthrough in Britain: cutting fat from a woman’s thighs and tummy and pasting it on her titties. Ladies who allow surgeons to play Mrs. Potato Head with their breasts can potentially shoot up three cup sizes. The “two-in-one op,” as it’s being called, will be widely available in Britain next year for around $13,000 and is currently being tested in the U.S.

It’s true that these so-called “natural breast enlargements” don’t involve the dodgy silicone used in most boob jobs, which has been known to harden over time and feel fake. But it’s still plastic surgery, which isn’t “natural” at all! Besides, how much would it suck if the layers of fat that the doctor redistributed from your thighs turned out to be the dreaded cellulite and it made your tits all wrinkly and pucker-y? Is that really worth a C-cup, ladies? [Times Of London]

I have something in common with Lauren Hutton and writer Peggy Orenstein. I accept the gap between my two front teeth. After three sets of braces when I was younger and years without a retainer, I can still look a dentist and my reflection in the eye and say, “I like my smile the way it is.” It’s a trademark passed down to me by my mother.

But while I’m able to embrace my gap, a couple of scars, and other “flaws,” I’m still unable to come to terms with the cruel joke DNA has played on me. You see, I’ve always wanted boobs and figured I had a pretty good chance of getting them because ample bosoms run on both sides of my family.

Maxi Mounds, who hails from Long Island, NY, holds the Guinness World Record for “World’s Largest Augmented Breasts.” It took four surgeries for Maxi to get to her 61MMM size, according to Spike TV’s “MANswers.” She says she started “dancing” to pay for school but decided she liked being naked more than studying. She also claims that her measurements are 156MMM-26-36, but we’ll go with the more conservative breast measurement because we can’t possibly see how Maxi would be able to stand upright with 156MMM breasts. Maxi gets major attention on the web, TV, and in strip clubs, but she says the one downside to such ginormous boobs is that she can no longer sleep on her stomach. Bummer.

A Japanese “scientist” claims he has composed a breast enhancing ringtone. According to Hideto Tomabechi, a woman can increase the size of her breasts in only 10 days if she listens to the ringtone 20 times every 24 hours. Sounds easy, but don’t get too excited just yet. The ring tone apparently has many layers of sound to stimulate breast tissue growth, but the predominate clamor is a baby shrieking. Actually, don’t get too excited period, as this seems to be one of the biggest/funniest cons in YouTube history. Watch this video to learn more about the “grow-your-boobs” ringtone, “convince-the-fat-from-your-butt-to-leave” ringtone, and something involving the Japanese police and cults.

Who’s your nipple role model?

Have no idea what we’re talking about? Good. You haven’t been brainwashed by yet another plastic surgery trend we don’t understand: nipple surgery to change the shape, color or size of your areolae.

The recession is to blame for everything going wrong right now—the rise in foreclosures, the increase in unemployment and the sharp decline in the number of people who want size DD breasts. Plastic surgery numbers are steadily slipping here in the U.S. Americans, who once spent $12 billion a year on cosmetic surgery, are now tightening their budget according to the American Society of Plastic Surgeons. There’s been a 62% decrease in plastic surgery from 2007-2008. Consumers are hesitating now more than ever before to commit to having the pricey elective procedures done. Doctors in Orange County, Calif., the silicone capital of the world, have reported a 30 to 40 percent decline in business. And breast implant manufacturer Mentor Corp.‘s sales have decreased 5 percent during the three months ending Sept. 26 compared to the same period last year. But one country isn’t experiencing a decrease in their numbers. Find out which one, after the jump.

Yesterday, Amelia noticed something different about Ali Lohan’s physique, so that got me thinking about how breasts, or a lack thereof, can affect a young starlet’s rise to fame. Here’s a list of celebs whose breasts have affected their careers.

• Soleil Moon Frye is best known for her role as Punky in the television sitcom Punky Brewster. When she was 16, Soleil had breast reduction surgery, going from 36DD to 34C because she had back problems. But knowing our culture, I think she also wanted to be taken seriously as an actress and later as a director.
• To me, Raven-Symone represents a normal body size. She has curves that are proportional to her height, and she’s one of a few thick girls catering to the preteen girl demographic. But every time I watch That’s So Raven, I wonder why her breasts and the rest of her torso are always covered because it makes her look larger than she really is. Then I realized this is a technique to make Raven, 22, look more like a teenager for her roles on that show and in The Cheetah Girls movies. But choosing to cover her curves has led to a malicious debate online: Is Raven fat or all breasts?

Meet Georgia. Georgia is 12. Georgia wants a boob job for her 13th birthday. It’s no wonder—Georgia’s mom, Alicia Douvall, has had over 50 plastic surgeries, 12 of which were on her breasts alone. (Seriously? She looks like such a natural beauty!)  But don’t worry! Douvall isn’t the kind of terrible mother who would give her tween a boob job! No way! That’s crazy talk! Everyone knows the appropriate age for a little girl’s first breast augmentation is 16, because “a 16-year-old with a nice, sexy figure will do really well as a model.” [Sun U.K.]