“This isn’t working for me anymore,” he says abruptly one night on the phone, and you’re stunned. Everything had been going great. You’d even been thinking about places to go on a summer vacation together, but unfortunately, he had other plans. And you did not see this coming.
Breakups are hard enough when you know things aren’t working out and sense that the end is looming, but they’re even more painful when you’re totally caught by surprise. What relationship was I in? you wonder, since it was obviously so different from the one your boyfriend was in. Questioning whether you were completely out of touch with reality, you search for red flags you may have missed, look for everything you could have done wrong, and long for answers. Keep reading »
Josh and I were together for a year and a half. We had a relationship built upon the stuff the Under Twos so often are: You both like the same book, you both like Christopher Guest, you do the horizontal mambo and it’s not, like, awful, and the next thing you know you’ve met a family and celebrated an anniversary.
You know, of course, that at some point you’ve got to listen to the voice inside your head that runs her mouth about “long-term compatibility.” It’s just that, right now, in this moment, you’re having an awful lot of fun eating pizza in bed with someone else beside you. And, you know, compared to your friend Vicki’s boyfriend, Josh is an absolute GEM. Keep reading »
A while back I was dating a guy that I was really into. In hindsight, the relationship was ridiculous… but I was transported by what seemed like some of the best between-the-sheets I’ve ever had, and I besotted myself into some idea that we had a future. So I was devastated when I was dumped, over email. (Yep, even in middle age, some men still do that.)
I went through the usual shock and awe, aided by piles of tissue and a hive of caring girlfriends. Moving through the stages of grieving, I saw him clearly for the incapable slouch that he was. But what kept nagging at me was how much I was going to miss that naked tango. Read more…
Normally, the onslaught of Valentine’s Day ephemera inspires a mere eyeball roll from me, but this year I find myself sprinting past heart décor window installations back to my apartment, a zone void of pink and red reminders of the guy who decided to end our story — the same week I got laid off my job, which just so happened to also fall on the week before the impending holiday. My job and I had a solid eight-year relationship, until the corporate office decided to “downsize” and I got dumped. The guy and I? We had a good run of late-night laughter, cooking with rare spices (sumac, anyone?) and forging the kind of intimacy that makes you quietly happy, for as long as it lasts. “Longer than Kim (Kardashian) and that Kris guy,” as he put it during our breakup.
Being unattached and unemployed this Valentine’s Day is a constant reminder that I would like to be tethered, well, to something. Whether my final destination is a new gig or a new guy (or both!), getting there is the fun part. Or not so fun part. Here’s my plan of action … Keep reading »
We all know that music can powerfully affect emotions, changing how you feel completely or intensifying the mood you’re already in. We also know that relationships can powerfully affect emotions, making you want to dance in the streets or hide out under the covers. Listening to the right song at the right moment will amp up your elation, pull you out of a funk, or plunge you deeper into despair. Click through for playlists to help you rejoice in the beginning of a new relationship, mourn the loss of an old one, or give you the strength to move on to the next.
I hate getting dumped. But I hate doing the dumping even more. I’ll take a breakup text any day of the week over having to send one. Not that I would EVER dump someone via text, even though I’ve been dumped that way. LAME. But I digress. I know how to deal with getting dumped. I have a lot of … experience, shall we say, as dumpee. Getting dumped is a piece of cake! You get angry. You get sad. You mutter expletives to yourself on the subway, listen to The Smiths non-stop for a week and think about how you really didn’t like the way he kissed anyway. Then you move on. Being the dumper is way, way trickier though. Why? Because it challenges your view of yourself as a good person. For a moment, you are forced be the asshole breaking someone’s heart. No way around it. it sucks. The guilt, the avoidance of that “asshole” feeling, has led me to perform some heinous dumpings. But I’ve learned from my mistakes. After the jump, some tips about how to end a relationship while remaining a decent human being. Keep reading »
In Dominique Browning’s New York Times piece “Alone Again, Naturally“, she explores why being alone after a divorce or breakup seems to be more unbearable for men than it is for women:
“Judging by statistics, to say nothing of the glaring evidence around me, men do not have any problem remarrying. In fact, most men seem unable to live alone for longer than, say, at the outside … three months.”
I had always assumed that it was the other way around, but reading her piece made me question whether or not my perception was a faulty gender stereotype. I decided to canvas some men I know and get their thoughts. Keep reading »
“I don’t think Kate behaved well and it is still very raw for me … I was in love with her and you can’t switch that off overnight … I’m not sure Kate treated me well … Kate came home with me to Cornwall and we just hung out together. She met my parents and family … I thought we were inseparable. I certainly haven’t found anyone else since … I don’t want to go into details but it wasn’t a straightforward break-up. I’m a laid-back guy, so I am not walking around with a long face — but I do still hold a torch for her.”
– Louis Dowler on his breakup with Kate Winslet. She may save grannies from burning buildings, rack up Oscar noms, and impress us with her unwavering confidence, but maybe she’s not so heavenly when it comes to matters of the heart. Or maybe Louis, a Burberry model, isn’t used to getting dumped. I mean, we all knew he was a rebound, right? I guess he didn’t. [Celebitchy]
Adele was a star at 19, but at 21, she’s become one of the most sought after performers in the world. Now you can watch her perform her deeply personal collection of songs inspired by heartbreak on her new DVD, “Live At The Royal Albert Hall.” The DVD, due out November 29, features a 90-minute live concert, behind the scenes footage, and a CD of the entire show. It’s even better than a front row seat!
WIN THIS! Adele’s devastating breakup inspired her to write many of the songs that eventually became 21. She turned her pain into music that touched her fans’ hearts and sold millions of records. If only every breakup turned into a hit album! Tell us in the comments about your first major heartbreak and how you dealt with it —the tales that move us the most will win a copy of Adele’s “Live At The Royal Albert Hall” DVD. Enter by 11:59 p.m. on Tuesday, November 29, 2011. We’ll pick our favorite responses and announce the winners on Wednesday, November 30. You must live in the U.S. or Canada to win. (Read the official rules here.) Good luck!
I am going to refrain from going into too much detail and say that I, like most women, have one awful ex. I’ve dated lots of dudes in my years on the scene and there is no other man that compares to him in the badness department. I’ve lived with a low-level and persistent fear of running into him. I’m not afraid of him, but rather afraid of how I would behave if I saw him.
Keep reading »