Oh, hi Dave! It’s been really fun dating you for the past couple of years! I’m so glad we moved in together, so that when I found out you were cheating on me with Kelsi, it was easier for me to find and hide all of your precious belongings. Here’s this fun scavenger hunt I put together, commemorating some of the more important moments in our relationship (or should I say fauxlationship?). You were always shitty at remembering my birthday/Valentine’s Day/the color of my eyes, so I’m sure you’ll have no trouble figuring out where you crap is.
See you never! Love, Ally.
– The Post-it note that I imagine was stuck on this amazingggggg letter one frustrated girlfriend wrote to her lyin’ cheatin’ boyfriend. [Metro]
You swear you’ve moved on from your ex, but then you find yourself stalking his Facebook page, drunk texting, and “coincidentally” ending up in his neighborhood — sound familiar? Accepting that you’re not over him is the first step to actually getting over him, so to help you ditch the denial stage, we’ve rounded up some clear signs that you’re still in love with your ex. Struggling to move on and sick of the sad breakup songs? Take a look at these hilarious GIFs to have a laugh and move forward! Read more on Tres Sugar…
In my experience, breakup music can go two ways: there’s the soft, sad, slow, wallowing type, and then there’s the upbeat and/or aggressive type that makes you feel like you’ve got the world by the balls, and fuck him, anyway. Personally, I usually begin with the former and progress to the latter over time, once I feel like I’ve gotten all of the tears and self-pity out of the way and I’m ready to move on to not giving a fuck. And you know what’s the best music for making you feel like you just don’t give a fuck? Yeah, it’s probably gonna be rap. But don’t just take it from me — impossibly rad rock star Kim Gordon, who split from her Sonic Youth bandmate Thurston Moore in late 2011 after 30 years together, knows that hip-hop, or what she calls “Traumatized Good Times Tunes,” are kind of the panacea for heartbreak and that gross, creeping “oh my god I feel so sorry for myself I could die” feeling. Gordon revealed her personal playlist and, no surprise here, it’s pretty legit, featuring tracks by Joey Bada$$, Boss, and Gang Starr, and the obligatory Iggy Azalea guilty pleasure. Check it out. We recommend. [Refinery29]
Celebrity gossip is not the place to look for nuance or thoughtfulness. A lot of it is downright sexist. Take, for example, today’s headline on New York Post gossip page’s Page Six column, “Selena Gomez ‘To Blame For Justin Bieber’s Behavior’.”
You’re probably aware that pop stars Gomez and Bieber were, for a time, a couple. They broke up. You’re also probably aware that Bieber has been losing it a little bit lately: arguing with his neighbors, showing up late/canceling concerts, trying to fight paparazzi, running around in gas masks, abandoning his pet monkey.
Apparently, all of that is his ex-girlfriend’s fault! Keep reading »
In case you missed it, the guy and I split right after Thanksgiving. That means that the weeks leading up to my birthday and Christmas have been kind of lame. Actually, that’s not true. They weren’t half bad, just kind of meh emotionally. You could say I haven’t been brimming over with holiday spirit.
But still, I’ve been doing lots of yoga, reading depressing fiction, shopping impulsively for tights, watching cooking shows and spending time with friends. I went to a fancy spa and got a massage for my 34th birthday. And then I consumed massive amounts of Blue Point oysters and champy with my best friend. It was solid way to celebrate my birthday/ the world not ending. Everything was fine until someone close to me said: “You shouldn’t wait, you should just get back on OK Cupid right away.” Keep reading »
I just admitted to the ladies here that my way of dealing with my recent breakup is to have out loud, imaginary conversations with him. Not like angry conversations, just very casual conversations. Example:
Me: Did you see the latest episode of “Kitchen Nightmares”? It’s ridiculous.
Me: Yeah, I knew you’d enjoy it. Do you know Gordon Ramsay has a new show called “Hotel Hell”? I don’t know how I missed it. It’s soooo bad. You should check it out on Hulu … I went to yoga today.
Keep reading »