Breakups always suck, no matter what, for both dumper and dumpee, or even if it’s mutual. But there are certain kinds of breakups that suck worse than others. That’s just true, the same way that certain ways of dying suck worse than others, in your sleep versus slowly and painfully of cancer. God, this is getting really macabre really fast. I’m sorry.
You can probably tell by my tone (and the fact that I’m listening to The Smiths) that I’ve just gone through a breakup. As some of you know, I was trying to be Switzerland, which worked for a while, and then I couldn’t remain neutral any longer. Our breakup was mutual and amicable and about as pleasant as something so unpleasant could be. I’m grateful for that. But still, BLERGH.
Here’s the thought I’m left with at the end of this relationship (to quote a Broadway song because I love Broadway musicals and I don’t care if that’s embarrassing): “It’s not where you start, it’s where you finish.” Keep reading »
Breakups suck. Despite all the lessons and advice our parents teach us, nothing really prepares us to fall in love with someone and then have that person choose not to be with us anymore. With a broken heart and a shattered ego, our brain demands explanations.We crave resolution and closure. But we rarely get what we desire. One magical date and he didn’t call again, why? Two weeks of texting and flirting on Facebook and then nothing, why? One month spent dating a guy you were ambivalent about only to have him dump you, why?
Frankly, asking why is a colossal waste of time. Keep this word in your back pocket every time you are tempted to contemplate a dating scenario gone awry: Next. Next is your best friend when it comes to dating, hook-ups, friends with benefits, and all the rest. Keep reading »
We were so thoroughly uninspired by the top ten breakup lines for men and women that we felt like we needed to take action. We’re starting the Brutal Honesty Breakup Movement. It’s not a real movement yet, but we think it has serious potential. Consider this our contribution. After the jump, some suggested lines to use the next time you dump someone. Read as: the real reason you are ending things. Keep reading »
Other than good friends and a big pint of chocolate ice cream, nothing can help you get through a really rough breakup better than music. Really emotional and honest songs can make you feel like you want to scream or cry, but grieving the end of a relationship is healthy.
Some of the greatest breakup songs ever written—whether they’re about cheating, moving on or just realizing the relationship doesn’t work—all have one special thing in common. They all have the ability to make us feel like we’re not alone in the world, like someone else out there understands. And that can be a powerful thing for the moving on process.
Here are five breakup songs that helped us at one time or another (along with our favorite lyrics). Read more …
A survey done at through a UK dating site found the top ten breakup lines men and women use. Dating pros, I’m sure you’ve either heard these all or used them yourself. I feel the world’s longest eye roll coming on. And P.S. This is a wake-up call, we need to start coming up with some more original ways to dump each other because we suck at it. Find out what they are after the jump. For extra fun, take a shot for each line you’ve heard or used. I predict you’ll be wasted by the end of the list. Keep reading »
The title of this post is somewhat of a misnomer because the South Carolina woman who discovered her ex-boyfriend had been living in her attic had already broken up with him 12 years ago. So maybe it would be more accurate to have titled it “You’re Getting Evicted From My Crawlspace”? Keep reading »
I woke up last Sunday morning — well, I don’t know that I was truly awake, but at least I wasn’t in bed any more — and stumbled to the kitchen for a giant glass of water with which to defuzz my thoroughly whiskey-fied mouth. In my hangover haze, I glanced across the living room to the coffee table, which held two empty glasses and a piece of old mail with my late-night scrawl on the back. It was a playlist.
We’d started with Darius Rucker’s new single, “True Believers,” because Patrick and I are true believers in pop country music. Now we are, anyways — I used to have more than a little detached irony mixed in with my Kenny Chesney appreciation, but that’s long since disappeared over the years of my relationship with Patrick, whose genuine love for the genre is both charming and contagious.
It’s becoming something of a tradition for the two of us: we spend a Saturday evening hanging out at the bar with a group of Austin feminists and allies that meet monthly to shore up our belief in the world being a livable place, and then we come home, drink whiskey on the rocks and watch music videos for hours. We sing along. We dance with each other. We trade stories about where we were when this or that song was popular. We debate the musical merits of the Zack Brown Band as musical successor to Jimmy Buffet. Keep reading »
A couple of years after my fiancé and I broke up, I received a friend request from him on Facebook. I guess it made sense. While I’d decided that being real world friends didn’t quite work for me, I wasn’t exactly hating him either. So when I saw the friend request, I momentarily thought about accepting it. It would be the mature thing to do, right? Wrong. The mature thing to do is whatever moves you forward into a peaceful, calm, and happy existence. And looking at my ex’s new life wouldn’t help with that. So I did not accept.
Some couples are instant and true friends after their breakup. I don’t happen to know any of them, but rumor has it they exist. If those ex-couples want to be Facebook friends, so be it. But the rest of us should defriend, at least for awhile. Here are 6 of the lamest excuses for not unfriending your ex on Facebook.
1. I want to see if he says anything bad about me. Ahh, so you’re conducting your own public relations control campaign by monitoring your ex’s wall. Well, here’s a thought: If your ex is gauche enough to share anything negative about you with all of his Facebook friends, then that reflects badly on only one person: Him. Read more …
We’d like to believe that the best way to break up with a person is to sit down with them face-to-face and have an honest, open discussion about why you feel the relationship should no longer continue. After a calm, mature discussion, you will both come to the amicable conclusion that the relationship isn’t working for either of you. You’ll share a friendly hug, and part ways saying, “I’m so glad we’re still friends.”
Can someone tell me on what planet this actually happens? I’d like to go there. It sounds tranquil and civilized. Keep reading »