Hello again. After an extra long hiatus, Date-Ade, the advice series for all your existential dating dilemmas, is back! Today, I share my thoughts on Vickie’s delusional boyfriend … well, ex-boyfriend.
If you have a sex, dating or relationship quandary that you’d like for me to try to unravel (no promises), send your questions to email@example.com or tweet @TheFrisky #DateAde.
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In case you needed a reminder, it’s widely considered poor etiquette to plagiarize a breakup text message. Especially from a scene in “The Dark Knight Rises.” Especially if the woman you’re dumping has seen the movie. In fact, just don’t send a breakup text at all. There are other ways to get the job done. [Huffington Post]
They say experience is the greatest teacher, and Katy Perry has sure had a lot of it so far. As Marie Claire‘s January cover girl, Katy shared the wealth of lessons she learned through her highly public divorce from Russell Brand. When she was asked for a divorce via text message (did anyone else watch the marriage’s collapse on her documentary “Part of Me” and have a good cry?), she was thrown a major curveball and had no choice but to learn how to keep going. What did she discover?
“There were two weeks of my life after I found out the truth of my marriage where I was like, ‘Okay. Alright. I can’t feel this. This is too intense right now.’ I was, like, just eating Flamin’ Hot Cheetos and drinking, and that’s it…
There are two ways you can go: You can either nurture yourself or go destructive. I have gone down the destructive path before, and that didn’t work for me. You dig deep beyond those scars and find that soft tissue again, and you massage and nurture it and bring it to life, little by little, through serving yourself well. I did it through hikes and vitamins and therapy and prayer and good friends.”
Girl is brave. Keep reading »
Everyone has their own special way of trying to cope with a breakup. It’s a long, fruitless process of trying to find some way, any way to break the pain into manageable bites until it’s small enough to swallow. And naturally, each individual’s method is as unique as a snowflake. These little mechanisms we employ for ourselves may seem crazy to outsiders, but make perfect sense to us in our raw, recently broken up state. Say, for instance, deciding to time yourself each night, giving yourself a 4 minute limit to be sad about being dumped by a man you thought you were going to marry in your 20′s. This seemed like the only manageable solution to me at the time, but in retrospect, maybe it was odd. Who cares though, it worked eventually (although not in the mandatory 90 day time table I set forth). Keep reading »
I feel pretty good about my path toward a forever-partner. I dated a lot of guys, had numerous long- and longish-term relationships and a lot of premarital sex. I don’t believe that marriage is “the end” of your emotional or sexual growth as a woman, but I’m also glad I did everything I wanted to do as a single gal. That plan might not be right for everyone, but it was right for me. I’m happier than I’ve ever been and I have no regrets!
I knew that my husband was the right partner for me when we decided to get married. A particular joy of being newlyweds, though, is that I discover new reasons all the time. But there’s been another happy surprise, too. Settling into each other has also been hugely clarifying for me about men I’ve dated and even loved in the past. It’s almost like having a fresh pair of eyes to look at myself and mistakes I made. Truly, being with the right guy has taught me so many things in retrospect about the wrong ones.
Here are six bits of relationship wisdom that my married self would like to tell my single self (if she would able to read the Future Frisky and learn a few things):
Keep reading »
After a relationship ends, you prepare yourself for hard nights missing the other person. Your friends comfort you by telling you someone else out there is even better for you, and that happiness is just around the corner. But no one prepares you for the loss of the people who come with the breakup; the innocent bystanders left in the dust. What happens to them? Friendships end and family ties are severed, all with the understanding that it would make things easier. But does it?
Last night, my sister called to tell me that my ex-boyfriend’s mother passed away— a woman who I was very fond of and close to for the more than three years I dated her son, Pete.* Keep reading »