Tag Archives: breakups

Life After Dating: Bitter, Party Of One

Life After Dating: Bitter, Party Of One

A few years ago, I had a Big, Terrible Breakup. I’d been living with a guy, whom I loved, wanted to marry and raise kids with. He wanted those things, too, until he didn’t. I hadn’t seen the split coming and felt completely gobsmacked.

I turned around, reactivated my OKCupid profile, and began dating immediately. That turned out to not be such a good idea. I thought I needed to distract myself (and considering I had moved back in with my parents, part of me did need to distract myself) but what I really needed was to heal. Alas, even though I was not ready to date yet in the grander scheme of things, dipping my toe back in the waters showed me there were lots other guys out there. It took me a couple months to admit that there could be someone out there better for me than Ex-Mr. Jessica. But my acceptance wasn’t necessarily due to anything particularly convincing he said while we were breaking up; it came from meeting other guys online who, in integral ways, seemed like they’d be a better fit.

That’s not to say that I limped off my injury gracefully. Not much at all, in fact. I passed many, many months during 2011 mired in bitterness — hurt, resentful, and very angry. Keep reading »

12 Tips For “Consciously Uncoupling” Like Gwyneth Paltrow And Chris Martin

Since learning about Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin’s decision to “consciously uncouple,” we’ve been trying to unpack the term in all its PC glory. It seems that similar to other areas of her life, Gwyneth will be superior when it comes to divorce. So, far we haven’t seen one inkling of sadness, ire or admission that either party was having an affair. Ahem.

According to an anonymous source who spilled the beans to the Daily Mail, even the couple’s decision to get divorced was beyond reproach. Allegedly, the couple agreed to split while vacationing on island of Eleuthera in the Bahamas and instead of exchanging bitter words, they exchanged gifts. The source claims that Chris gave Gwyneth a painting of a bird in flight by Mila Fürstová to “mark the new stage in their lives.” Keep reading »

Dater X: Adventures In Ghostbusting

Dater-X-Adventures-In-Ghostbusting

On my fourth, excruciating day of not hearing from GQ, I was still racking my brain for possible reasons he could have ghosted. But I knew it was time to accept the fact that things were over between us. I knew I needed to reactivate my OKCupid profile— the one he suggested I take down to focus on “us.” But there was no “us” anymore. There was just me. And him, somewhere out there, avoiding me.

Feeling deflated, I logged back online when, to my surprise, I saw that GQ had reactivated his profile. To say that I was pissed is an understatement. After reaching out for days without any response, I was furious that GQ had no problem deciding to date other people without even bothering to give me one simple phone call to let me know I’d been dumped. A dick move. I made the oh-so-mature decision that probing him with questions (okay, and maybe some name-calling) wasn’t worth my time and energy. His message was coming through loud and clear: he wanted nothing to do with me. Keep reading »

Girl Talk: Finding Closure After A Non-Breakup

Breakup Cure?
True Story: My Boudoir Photo Shoot Helped Me Get Over My Breakup
How her boudoir photo shoot helped her get over her breakup. Read More »
Getting Closure
8 Ways To Get Closure
8 ways to get closure in a relationship. Read More »
Why He Dumped Me
Do you really need to know why he dumped you? Read More »
Girl-Talk--Finding-Closure-After-A-Non-Breakup

It’s really difficult to talk about the end of a relationship when you haven’t exactly had a breakup.

“Well, how did it end?” someone inevitably asks.

Umm … I left him a heart-wrenching voicemail,” seems too embarrassing an answer.

I dated someone for more than eight months until he completely ghosted. I honestly thought this only happened to relationships in their infancy, after maybe a few dates — eight months seems like it deserves a breakup phone call at the very least. But he had stopped answering my calls and texts right around Christmastime, and I was left with no other option. Show up on his doorstep and demand some answers? Nah, not my style. So, I left a long voicemail explaining that clearly things were over, and I’d love to talk about it with him if he could summon some basic decency.

And I never heard from him. Keep reading »

Dating Don’ts: Suggested Mourning Timelines For 3 Different Kinds Breakups

Dating Don'ts: First Dates
Dating-Don'ts--4-First-Date-Tips-For-People-Who-Don't-Do-It-That-Often
Tips for those who don't date too often. Read More »
Dating Don'ts: Breakups
These kinds of breakups suck the very most. Read More »
Dating Don'ts: Next
The most powerful word in the dating language is NEXT! Read More »
Dating Don'ts: Mourning Timelines For 3 Different Kinds Breakups

Breakups suck, whether you’re the dumper or the dumpee. No matter which end of the fray you’re on, there follows a mourning period, a delicate time in which you probably lash out at friends, obsess over details of the way things ended, and make ill-advised decisions about ice cream for dinner and browsing on Tinder. It’s impossible to make generalizations about how long a breakup takes to process, because every single relationship and situation is its own special snowflake. I can’t tell you what it feels like to be a part of your breakup, because only you were there to experience it. The adage about using an equation involving the amount of time you were together as the “x” factor for how long you should be upset after it ends is stupid, plain and simple. That being said, here are some rough guidelines on acceptable mourning times, from someone who has been through her fair share of breakups. But feel free to ignore them if you feel like wallowing for an extra month or six. Keep reading »

Dater X: Missing Him Or Missing The Idea Of Him?

Dater-X--Missing-Him-Or-Missing-The-Idea-Of-Him

Well, I successfully made it through Valentine’s Day without needing Xanax or calling an ex-boyfriend, so I’d say it was a great success. But before I headed out on February 14th for a singles’ feast and game night with some of my favorite ladies, I heard from Officer Handsoming. Shocked to see his name appear on my phone, I felt equal parts annoyed and surprised that he’d reach out on Valentine’s Day, since his lack of planning for the holiday ultimately fueled our split.

“Hey. How’d you make it through the snowstorm?” his text read.

“Fine, thanks. Have you had many stabbings and out-of-control ex-boyfriend bonfires to tend to today?” I joked, knowing he was on the clock.

“Not so far, but there’s still time,” he wrote with a wink emoticon. “My schedule changed and I’m no longer working overnight. What are you up to tonight?” Keep reading »

Dater X: Another One Bites The Dust

Dater X: Another One Bites The Dust

Officer Handsoming arrived at my apartment with a carton of chicken noodle soup in one hand and a greasy bag of french fries in the other, unsure which I preferred when nursing a hangover.

How thoughtful, I said to myself while we plopped down on my couch to watch “Silver Linings Playbook.” I cracked open the soup, unwrapped the fries and picked at both, before asking him what his schedule looked like this week. In between bites of his burger, he ran through an endless list of court dates, night shifts, day shifts and apartment searching appointments.

“I noticed you casually skipped right over Valentine’s Day,” I said, playfully.

“I told you, I have to work on Valentine’s Day. And all weekend, for that matter,” he said, his eyes fixed on the TV.

“But still, don’t you want to acknowledge it at all? Maybe next weekend, when you’re off, we can go away and stay in a hotel for a night or something…” I offered.

I knew that this was the beginning of the end. A few minutes later, he broke his silence.

“What’s the matter? You’re mad at me now because I didn’t plan anything for Valentine’s Day, aren’t you?” he asked.

“I’m concerned,” I said matter-of-factly. “About us.” Keep reading »

Date-Ade Episode #8: On Jackhammering & Jackasses

Date-Ade-Episode-#8
How Do You Deal With A Delusional Boyfriend?
Date-Ade: Ep. 7
Date-Ade Episode 7: On Syringe Tides & Seahorses
Sometimes you have to let go. Watch »

Hello again. After an extra long hiatus, Date-Ade, the advice series for all your existential dating dilemmas, is back! Today, I share my thoughts on Vickie’s delusional boyfriend … well, ex-boyfriend.

If you have a sex, dating or relationship quandary that you’d like for me to try to unravel (no promises), send your questions to date-ade@thefrisky.com or tweet @TheFrisky #DateAde.

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Guys, Please Don’t Quote “Batman” In Your Breakup Text

In case you needed a reminder, it’s widely considered poor etiquette to plagiarize a breakup text message. Especially from a scene in “The Dark Knight Rises.” Especially if the woman you’re dumping has seen the movie. In fact, just don’t send a breakup text at all. There are other ways to get the job done. [Huffington Post]

Katy Perry Has Some Breakup Advice For You & It Involves Flamin’ Hot Cheetos

2013 American Music Awards - Arrivals

They say experience is the greatest teacher, and Katy Perry has sure had a lot of it so far. As Marie Claire‘s January cover girl, Katy shared the wealth of lessons she learned through her highly public divorce from Russell Brand. When she was asked for a divorce via text message (did anyone else watch the marriage’s collapse on her documentary “Part of Me” and have a good cry?), she was thrown a major curveball and had no choice but to learn how to keep going. What did she discover?

“There were two weeks of my life after I found out the truth of my marriage where I was like, ‘Okay. Alright. I can’t feel this. This is too intense right now.’ I was, like, just eating Flamin’ Hot Cheetos and drinking, and that’s it…

There are two ways you can go: You can either nurture yourself or go destructive. I have gone down the destructive path before, and that didn’t work for me. You dig deep beyond those scars and find that soft tissue again, and you massage and nurture it and bring it to life, little by little, through serving yourself well. I did it through hikes and vitamins and therapy and prayer and good friends.”

Girl is brave. Keep reading »

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