Tag Archives: breakups

Life After Dating: Moving On From The Past

Life After Dating: Moving On From The Past

Yesterday, while I was getting ready to go to CostCo with my boyfriend, Michael, I told him a story a friend had told me about how much her dad hated her grandfather. I said, “I wonder what it’s like to have parents who you really deep-down hate.” Then I paused and thought about it, and said, “Well, I hated my in-laws.”

And for the first time in the last two years, I felt a sudden and very real sense of dissonance in saying that. I felt too young to say something like “I hated my in-laws,” in the past tense; as in, I had in-laws. As in, in my life, I have had in-laws, but now, I do not have in-laws. Keep reading »

Girl Talk: On Dating Down

GT dating down

The first man I ever fell in love with was eight years older than me. He was on probation for stealing a video game, and his fingertips smelled like cigarettes and shellfish, having spent most evenings washing dishes at a seafood restaurant. At one point, he kept going to work even though his boss had stopped paying him. “Why don’t you start looking for a new job?” I asked.

“Cuz it’s fun just chillin’ with the boys, smoking cigarettes in the back,” he told me.

Jeff wouldn’t find another job for nine months, mostly because his unemployment allowed him to sit in front his PlayStation all afternoon. At age 26, he still lived with his dad, but couldn’t be bothered to sleep in the spare bedroom because all of his crap — a graveyard of sporting equipment he lost interest in and old surf tees — was piled so high, he couldn’t find the bed.

Instead, he slept on a makeshift bed-couch in the living room. It was here, with his father bumbling in to ask, “What’s going on?” that I lost my virginity. Keep reading »

The Best Way To Get Over Your Ex Is By Photoshopping Beyonce Over His Face

Beyonce

Cassandra, a 19-year-old from Toronto whose relationship recently ended, is dealing with her post-breakup reverie by photoshopping Beyonce’s face over her ex in old pictures. Her Tumblr page, Beyoncify My Boyfriend, is an ode to lost love and, most importantly, Beyonce’s badassery. It’s a gallery of her greatest times with her former man made a thousand times better by Bey’s appearance (yes, the bad quality of her photoshopping is intentional). As her Tumblr reads, “Breakups suck. You know what makes them easier? Reimagining your happiest times together with none other than Queen B.” I couldn’t agree more. Cassandra’s ex found the site and is less than pleased, but that doesn’t seem to be phasing her. She’s now taking requests from other ladies to Beyoncify their ex-boyfriends. Hero status. [BuzzFeed] [Image via Tumblr]

Dating Don’ts: Should You Unfriend Your Ex?

Dating Don’ts: Should You Unfriend Your Ex?

There’s a perverse pleasure in keeping tabs on your ex-paramours on social media. Perhaps you monitor their Twitter feed before you to go bed to see if you can gauge whether there was a more salacious reason behind their sudden decision to end things. Maybe after a couple glasses of wine and watching half of “The Notebook,” you find yourself scrolling through Instagram, making assessments about whether or not the person that showed up in their feed is a friend, a good coworker, or a cousin you never knew about. Maybe seeing the articles that they share from Upworthy and the Onion in your Facebook feed is a way of keeping them in your life, if even for a little while.

Whatever your reasons are, the need to keep up with people that you’re no longer involved with is very real, a secret shame that we don’t often feel comfortable talking about with others. It’s okay to maintain this behavior up until a certain point, but in every broken relationship’s wake, there comes a point when it’s time to unfriend, unfollow, block, and mute, to completely and totally DISCONNECT. Ripping off the Band-Aid sucks, but it’s necessary when you’re trapped in an unhealthy cycle of speculation three months or three years after you guys have ended things. But when is the appropriate time? Here are some potential situations you might find yourself in, and some gentle guidance on when and how to disconnect. Keep reading »

The Downside To Breaking Up In Public: Some Eavesdropper Will Live Tweet The Whole Damn Thing

The-Downside-To-Breaking-Up-In-Public--Some-Eavesdropper-Will-Live-Tweet-The-Whole-Damn-Thing

It’s bad enough to live through your own breakup without having to endure the live-Tweeted version of it.

Unfortunately for Daniel and Serena, Tweet-happy, Toronto-based writer Dave Bidini happened to by sitting next to them in the cafe during the whole thing. Fortunately for us, he recorded the blow-by-blow in 140 character increments.  Keep reading »

Life After Dating: Bitter, Party Of One

Life After Dating: Bitter, Party Of One

A few years ago, I had a Big, Terrible Breakup. I’d been living with a guy, whom I loved, wanted to marry and raise kids with. He wanted those things, too, until he didn’t. I hadn’t seen the split coming and felt completely gobsmacked.

I turned around, reactivated my OKCupid profile, and began dating immediately. That turned out to not be such a good idea. I thought I needed to distract myself (and considering I had moved back in with my parents, part of me did need to distract myself) but what I really needed was to heal. Alas, even though I was not ready to date yet in the grander scheme of things, dipping my toe back in the waters showed me there were lots other guys out there. It took me a couple months to admit that there could be someone out there better for me than Ex-Mr. Jessica. But my acceptance wasn’t necessarily due to anything particularly convincing he said while we were breaking up; it came from meeting other guys online who, in integral ways, seemed like they’d be a better fit.

That’s not to say that I limped off my injury gracefully. Not much at all, in fact. I passed many, many months during 2011 mired in bitterness — hurt, resentful, and very angry. Keep reading »

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