I Want You To Dump Me
Dear Gentlemen,
When you know you don’t want to see me anymore, I need you to do me a favor: be an adult and dump me. Don’t text me pretending that you want to reschedule when you flake out on our plans, don’t promise you’ll call me later if you’re not gonna, don’t ask for my number if you have no intention of ever calling me, etc. If I wanted to date someone who mastered the disappearing act, I’d have schtooped a magician. But I didn’t, I dated/boyfriended/made out with/dry humped on the dance floor/flirted with you. Now, I need you to breakup with me.













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