When did I become the star of the Lifetime movie, “In Love With A Stranger”? (This movie does not exist yet, but it should.) Was this the way “General Hospital”‘s Elizabeth Webber felt when she found out her husband, Ric Lansing, had kidnapped Carly Corinthos and was keeping her locked up in a secret room in their house? Was this kind of betrayal what Janet Jackson was singing about on the song “What About?” How many songs, movies, and books have been penned about deception? Countless, I think. But there are two people I’ve been thinking about in particular, who seem like they would get what it feels like to find out you’d been lied to for years by the person you loved. They are Julie Metz, author of Perfection: A Memoir of Betrayal and Renewal, and my ex-fiance’s college girlfriend, who emailed me yesterday out of the blue. Keep reading »
A few weeks ago I wrote about how I wasn’t sure if I was really ready to be dating again, that I was still dealing with the lingering effects of my last relationship in which my fiance ended things suddenly.
“…I desperately fear, in all sincerity, that I will never again find someone who loved me like my ex-fiance did. And that even if I do, they will likely leave me the way he did. Isn’t that pathetic?”
A friend of mine emailed me, specifically about that line, saying it wasn’t what she expected to hear me say. Keep reading »
Nowhere is the difference between men and women so glaring as when it comes down to the demise of a relationship. Specifically, the unexpected, unwanted, one-sided break-up otherwise known as the dumping.
A dumped dude might get angry. Then again, he might just get depressed and mope quietly in his room. He may go to a strip club or pick up a one-night-stand at a bar. What he won’t do is call up all his buddies and poll them about what they think his ex really meant when she quit returning his calls. Nor will he tearfully declare that said ex must have been either too intimidated by his devastating intellect and/or simply too in love with him.
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Cary Tennis, Salon’s resident advice columnist, answers a rather ridunculous letter in his column today. A man writes in that when they were married, his first wife always wore her hair short despite years of him asking her to grow it long, and she bit her fingernails, too, a habit he says “annoyed” him. Since divorcing her many moons ago, he’s remarried and has had several more children with his second wife. His first wife remarried, as well, and the children they had together are all grown up and remain close to both parents as well as their younger half-siblings. All sounds good, right? Well, not so much. You see, wife #1 has recently grown out her hair! AND she seems to have stopped biting her nails!
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I have a little problem. I tend to obsess over why a guy suddenly pulls “the fade” or ends things just as they’re, seemingly, getting good. It’s one thing if the guy simply is not interested in pursuing anything further because of a lack of attraction, but what about the guy who does think I’m hot, awesome, and funny? (He did, didn’t he?) Where the hell does he go and why? According to a guy writer for Cosmopolitan, there are five reasons why guys dump women they’re “into.” I got a guy friend, whose opinion I trust, to give me his thoughts on each of them, lest I take them all incredibly seriously. Keep reading »
After you’ve been dumped it’s pretty easy to think up things that sucked about your ex. Why My Ex Sucks wants you to “condense your bitterness” into three reasons why your ex is the worst and submit them for public enjoyment. Some of the greatest include:
“He had a twisted relationship with his twin sister. He referred to her as ‘his girlfriend.’”
“He was so dumb that at one point he thought I made up both the names ‘Hamlet’ and ‘Shakespeare.’”
“When we broke up and I kicked him out, he proceeded uninstall and steal our toilet.”
All of this makes for loads of amusement, but you know what’s harder, and possibly even more therapeutic in, like, a healthy way, than coming up with three awful things about your ex? Coming up with three ways in which they totally ruled. My ex and I used to play a game called “Look at the things I’ve brought into your life,” in which we’d list random fun stuff we introduced each other to. For example, thanks to me, my ex is now a Democrat, got to go to Carnival in Trinidad, and eats green vegetables with some frequency. I attempt to return the positivity, after the jump… Keep reading »