I’ve been growing my hair out for 10 years, ever since I got a totally tragic close-crop days before graduation from high school. I had kind of low self-esteem and I was majorly obsessed with Gwyneth Paltrow’s new short cut (you know the one — it closely resembled then boyfriend Brad Pitt’s hair too) — I came to the conclusion that if I cut off all my hair just like hers, I, too, would be pretty. Fat chance. The haircut, for starters, was poorly executed. Additionally, my hair was still in that post-puberty stage of frizzy horribleness — and I did not yet understand that flat irons and blow dryers could be my friend. The haircut was a disaster and I have spent the last 10 years growing it out, associating prettiness and femininity with length.
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A “breakup” becomes just a “break” when the couple in question find their way back to each other after a necessary snippet of time apart. Being in the middle of a “break”/”breakup” myself, I’ve thought a lot about the different directions this could go — a full-on “breakup” where we’re totally over, no chance of reconciliation, or a set period of time apart, where we do our own things and hopefully rediscover why we were together in the first place. Not sure what’s going to happen for me, but this is a pretty common occurance in Hollywood! After the jump, 10 couples who fell in love, broke up, and then got back together and are (mostly) living happily ever after. Proof that if you do take a break for one another, really take a break — it can give you both a lot of perspective. Keep reading »
A few weeks into dating him, when it wasn’t even clear that we were doing more than falling into bed and blogging the pillow talk the morning after, he texted me to ask, “We’re not secret right?”
“Secret?” I wrote back. “Aren’t we on Flickr?”
That’s the moment when it got, as the uselessly succinct Facebook menu options put it, both “serious” and “complicated.”
Our relationship wasn’t founded simply on this trendy sort of self-disclosure: we were just reporting on our sex lives before anyone else did. It shouldn’t have shocked me, let alone the audience we gained along the way, that it’d all have to end online, too. So how do you deal with a breakup like that, without breaking up with the Internet? Keep reading »
This weekend, Anne Hathaway hosted “Saturday Night Live”. Her opening monologue was the funniest of the season, so far, as she poked fun at her breakup with Italian lothario/scammer Raffaello Follieri . The appearance not only made me like Hathaway more — she’s not the little priss from “The Princess Diaries” after all! — but it also made me think about the notion of laughter being the best medicine during a breakup. Keep reading »
I’m going to come right out and cop to this—I have been dumped more times than I can count. You’d think that after the 5,234th time, I’d be a tad more resilient, but nah. I have mourned certain dead relationships for longer than they went on in the first place and made an idiot of myself over men so patently unworthy, it’s a wonder I haven’t had my feminist card revoked. Lucky for everyone within sobbing distance, I haven’t been dumped in a while, but as a public service I figured I’d share my mistakes so you can learn from them, after the jump… Keep reading »
So I’ve concluded week two of being “on a break” from my relationship. Newsflash: It still sucks. So far, I’ve progressed from the “so damned depressed I may never emerge from under the covers” stage to the “okay, this may actually be real” stage. I’ve got no idea what week three’s stage will be, but I hope it’s better than this. Still, in the last two weeks, I’ve tried to pay attention to the changes in my life that have come as a result of all this upheaval. What follows are 10 strange things about being suddenly single.
1. Nobody says: “Have A Safe Flight!”: I’m not that anxious when it comes to flying, but I’ve always felt grateful for the times I’ve had someone sitting next to me with a hand I could squeeze. Flying alone, it feels like good luck to have a quickie phone call with someone saying, “I love you! Have a safe flight!” before shutting down my cell at the pilot’s instruction. Not so this time. Keep reading »
When a breakup goes bad (when don’t they?), it’s natural to feel angry. There are the obvious ways to express that emotion–egging his car, throwing his belongings out a window, changing your locks. Or, you could take a more subtle and modern approach through technology. Sure, the following tactics might not be entirely legal, but they should serve as some inspiration.
1. Change the name of his shared iTunes library. You know how when you’re on a network, you see music libraries that usually read, “Sally Smith’s Library”? With a simple click on “Preferences” you can switch it to something nasty like “My Music Taste Blows” or “I’ve Got A Golf Pencil In My Pants”. This actually happened to someone I know. She didn’t realize it until she and her roommates were all sitting around one night working on their laptops and one of them asked, “Whose iTunes is called ‘Cheating Jerk’?”
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While I am on this “break” with the man friend (it remains unclear how long this break will last, FYI), I’ve sworn off certain movies, TV shows, and songs out of fear that they’ll make me depressed. A friend of mine went through a breakup recently and all she did was listen to Morrissey, but wallowing is not really my heartbreak style. I like avoidance and denial. Obviously, I can’t avoid these aspects of pop culture forever and will need to work them gradually back into my life, but for now, there will be no “General Hospital”, or Queen’s “You’re My Best Friend”, or Reese Witherspoon movies. See the rest of the list of Pop Culture No-No’s, after the jump. Keep reading »
After J. broke up with me my senior year in high school, I was pissed. Livid. Just a few weeks earlier, he told me he loved me, we went to prom and all was glorious in the world. What the heck? After a few weeks of having an intimate rebound relationship with a box of Kleenex, I became dead-set on making his life as unpleasant as he had made mine.
In order to exact my revenge, my best friend and I went to the mall where the kids who went to his high school always hung out. We approached every high-school aged girl we could find, asked if she knew J., and then told her to stay away from him and his terrible case of back-ne. Mature? Hell no. Satisfying? Undeniably.
Though I think my plan was rather brilliant, I probably would have received some nice inspiration had Alison Grambs’ book “The Smart Girl’s Guide To Getting Even” been around in 1994. In it, she offers all sorts of perfectly legal yet wholly satisfying ways to get back at the Js — i.e. the complete and total jerks — of the world. After the jump, find a sampling of her I-will-not-go-down-quietly strategies. Keep reading »