On my very first date with my boyfriend, I didn’t know if he was going to kiss me. I didn’t know yet that he loves Concord grapes, plays the saxophone and has never seen a Woody Allen movie. But I did know for certain that I wanted this person with whom I’d just eaten dinner to be in my life, somehow. I remember sitting across from him at a table in a Portuguese restaurant, smiling, and thinking, “Whatever happens after this date, I really hope we become friends. You’re cool.”

Flash forward six intense, crazy-in-love months and this man is not only boyfriend—he is my closest friend now, too, the one who knows everything about what goes on with my family, what goes on at work, what weird dreams woke me up in the middle of the night.

And I’m not entirely sure that’s a good thing.

I love my best friend, I love my boyfriend. These two people who hold such special places in my heart should love each other like I love them. In theory, if I have enough in common with both of them to have such a strong bond with each, shouldn’t the two of them also have the potential to form a real relationship with each other?  It should be an all out love fest whenever the three of us get together…except it’s not. ‘Tis sad but true, my best friend and boyfriend do not quite get along. If I am honest with myself, I could have easily foreseen this. All they have in common with each other is me.

My boyfriend just came back from a semester abroad in Paris—and he came back a smoker. I am not a smoker. Never have been, never will be. I couldn’t smoke during high school as I was dancing professionally for an opera company, and by the time I got to college it just didn’t seem like a big deal anymore. Smoking has just never really been on my radar; I know it’s bad for you, obviously, but I don’t feel the need to go protest outside Phillip Morris.

I’ve never dated a smoker because I never liked a guy that did smoke. I am not sure if it’s because I don’t like smokers, or none of the guys I was into happened to smoke, or if there is any difference between the two. Maybe if they had smoked I wouldn’t have been attracted? Impossible to know. All of that has changed now.

Dating in high school is dramatic: He kissed her? I thought he liked me! Will he tell all his friends if we go to second base? If I ask him to the dance, does that mean we’re dating? And if we’re dating, is he my boyfriend?

“He’s Just Not That Into You” wants to teach the women of this world a lesson. But you know what? Sometimes us ladies just aren’t that into you, gentlemen! Guys are just as clueless when it comes to reading the signs. Some of the best-selling book’s rules hold true for both sexes, like, “if they only want to see you when they’re drunk,” that’s totally a bad sign (duh!). However, women have their own set of subtle brush-off techniques. After countless boring dates and awkward interactions, we’ve decided to let you studs in on our secrets. We’ve cut through the BS and compiled the signs that she’s just not that into you.

I’ve been single so long, I was starting to think I’m do everything wrong…that is until I watched this totally ‘80s dating video, “Going On A Manhunt,” brought to us by the studs of VHS at Everything Is Terrible. Sheesh, the “experts” in this vid managed to come up with so many ideas even more overwrought than their permed hair—like using a small stuffed animal to get a man’s attention.  Seriously, what happened to a good old-fashioned low-cut dress?! If pathetically pretending to love a fake pet is what you need to find true love—i.e. a guy wearing an infomercial-style sweater—I’m going to resign myself to real cats and happily be a spinster for life!

Not long ago, I met a guy that reminded me of that sexy NPR storyteller Ira Glass. Instantly, I fell in nerd-love with this doppelganger. After dating for a while, though, we realized we had only one thing in common: sex. So we decided to be friends with benefits. According to a Michigan State University study, sixty-percent of college co-eds have been involved in an FWB relationship, and plenty of my thirty-something girlfriends were doing it to stay satisfied, so I figured I’d give the laid back, no-romantic-attachments approach to getting laid a whirl. A year later, faux-Ira and I still hang out and hump. After our most recent rendezvous last weekend, I began to wonder what I’m doing. What are the real benefits to friends with benefits? Sure, now I have an in-case-of-sexual-emergency-hit-Glass-lookalike. At the same time, I’ve started to realize my situation is causing me to question the meaning of friendship, challenging my chances at romances, and wobbling my emotional stability.

Jennifer Aniston has had many a studly star—Tate Donovan, Brad Pitt, Orlando Bloom, and Vince Vaughn, just to name a few. While every girl gets the breakup blues, we all know you have to get right back up on the horse and ride—and by horse we mean a new Hollywood hottie. So, now that Jennifer and John Mayer are over, we’re wondering who is a girl to do?  We decided to explore her options…

According to Dr. Sue Johnson (not to be confused with the old Sex Talk’s silver fox, Sue Johanson), there are three types of sex.  Short and sweet, long and aerobic, drunken and sloppy? Well, that’s what we thought!  But the doc breaks it down a little more scientifically. Sue says emotional presence is the biggest aphrodisiac and it defines the degrees of intercourse.  The freedom of speech you can achieve with a partner actually informs your Big O. With that in mind, here are the sexy levels of sex—whether you’re in a relationship or not—as Doc Johnson sees it, after the jump…

Everyone has their faults…even relationship bloggers who are skilled and rational lovers (ahem, coupled with being a little neurotic). But when you’re with someone, it’s all about understanding and complimenting each other’s strengths and weakness. However, some things are flexible, some things are sticking points and some things are straight up warning signs. Even though it’s hard to keep your eyes open when all you feel is sex and love, turning a blind eye will bite you in the booty eventually. So no matter how in love you are, you gotta look out for red flags.  Michael Snayerson wrote some for dudes that still totally apply for us ladies, from rudeness to waiters to dirty underwear. We love that he thinks a man should always offer to pay on the first date, although his aversion to eggs and ketchup may seem a little irrational. To tell our side, we’ve assembled some red flags that are visible even through the sex haze and should not be ignored! All the dirt, after the jump…