Okay, so I would never claim to have it all figured out, but I can say that I’m pretty good at solving other people’s problems. That’s always the way, isn’t it? My friends come to me for love and support and advice, and I can usually give them a little nugget or two of truthy, kind, realness to help them determine what to do.
But because we’re not friends (YET!), you’re missing out on all my awesome advice. Which is why I’ve compiled a small listicle of things to remember, when it comes to relationships and dating. Please enjoy after the jump! And share your own wisdom bites in the comments. Keep reading »
Depending on your mood and romantic history, you’ll either find the love story of “Breaking Bad” actor Aaron Paul and his fiancee Lauren Parsekian to be hopelessly adorable or nauseatingly saccharine. During Paul’s Emmy acceptance speech Sunday night, he thanked his “beautiful, inspiring fiancée … Thank you so much for looking at me the way that you do, you truly saved me.” We love Aaron Paul, for obvious reasons, and Parsekian, who is ridiculously gorgeous, seems pretty cool, too — she’s the cofounder of the Kind Campaign, which works with abused and bullied young girls. There’s, like, a lot of love between these two, and they’ve documented it in interviews, photos and endless Twitter posts about one another. We’ve captured the most, um, intense Twitter exchanges between these two lovebirds for your enjoyment. You tell us — is it too cute or too much?
Alexey Bykov wanted to prove to his girlfriend how important he was to her. How romantic, right? So he contracted a stuntman, makeup artist, screenwriter and director to stage a fake car crash just so his girlfriend could watch him die. Only, of course, Bykov, 30, from Onsk, Russia, wasn’t actually dead. He had staged the whole thing so that he could propose. Yes, this makes no sense.
“When I arrived there were mangled cars everywhere, ambulances, smoke, and carnage,” said Irina, clearly traumatized from the realization that she’s dating the most manipulative fucker ever. “Then when I saw Alexey covered in blood lying in the road a paramedic told me he was dead and I just broke down in tears.” Keep reading »
Chinese dude and definite Stevie Wonder fan Hu Seng wanted to show his girlfriend how much he loved her, so he mailed himself to her. The only problem? Hu Seng’s “package” got lost by the courier service he hired to deliver him, and he ended up spending way too long in his self-addressed cardboard box. When his girlfriend finally received the package, Hu Seng had passed out from lack of oxygen.
Seng spent three hours in the box. “I didn’t realize it would take so long,” he told the local news. “I tried to make a hole in the cardboard but it was too thick and I didn’t want to spoil the surprise by shouting.” Now that’s boyfriendly dedication.
This one time, my high school boyfriend showed up at my house and put himself in a large refrigerator box and “mailed himself” to my doorstep. It was cool, but he weird, and since I had already planned on spending the day shopping for gym clothes for P.E. class, I had no choice but to drag him along. Later, when we broke up, he wrote a fanzine about me that included my photo and address, and I occasionally got mail asking why I broke up with Todd. The ’90s were a weird time. [Daily Mail]
Dear William Todd,
Color me impressed! There are career criminals that don’t accomplish in a lifetime what you did in nine hours: committing 10 felonies. Not only did you steal a taser, revolver and shotgun (and a T-shirt!) from Nashville bar The Slaughterhouse, but you then burned the business to the ground! And because you are a king among criminal men, you went on to commit many more crimes. There was the stop at a local bar where you held up four people at gunpoint, tasering one, and pistol-whipping another. And then, minutes later, you held up a taxi at gunpoint, driving the stolen car to a local Walmart where you purchased $199 in food. All that crime can make you hungry.
But your crime spree was only half over.
Keep reading »
I don’t have a dog … or a boyfriend. Once upon a time, I had both. This is not a country song by the way, I am going to take this in a different direction so stick with me. If I did have a dog, I might be writing about all the wonderful ways my imaginary dog, Sprinkles, enhances my life in the absence of a man. But Sprinkles is just a dog I met on the street while her real owner was walking her. And my landlord doesn’t allow pets in the building anyway. So that’s neither here nor there. For now, I’ll have to bestow all my loving praise upon my very cherished succulent, Curly (pictured left). A loyal plant can bring much joy to a single ladies’ life. Curly has been with me now for almost four years and I feel like we have a very solid relationship. After the jump, some reasons why having a plant is better than having a boyfriend. Keep reading »
Well are you? I am. His name is Colonel Mustard and he’s obese. Keep reading »
Guys can be just as clueless as women when it comes to reading the signs, especially since women have their own set of subtle brush-off techniques. After countless boring dates and awkward interactions, we’ve decided to let you studs in on our secrets. We’ve cut through the BS and compiled the signs that she’s just not that into you. Keep reading »
This morning, I stood waiting at the bus stop, debating whether to pull a book out of my purse, or pop earbuds in my ears and listen to my NPR Addict app. NPR, I decided. You didn’t read any news yesterday; you need some culture. So I reached my hand in that little pocket of my handbag where I keep my iPhone and fished around for my phone. Nothing. Damn it! I left it on the dresser! Oh, well. No NPR for me, I guess. I scanned my busy avenue, no sign of my bus in sight, and resignedly pulled Some Girls: My Life In A Harem out of my bag to bide the time.
It took me about three seconds to get lost in my incredible book. But all of a sudden, someone appeared right in my face, startling me. I winced for a second, then realized it was my boyfriend. David’s just-showered hair was sopping wet and he was only wearing a tee shirt on this chilly New Jersey morning. He was holding my iPhone.
I kissed him, thanked him, and told him to get back inside because it was cold. And while I watched him dart across the avenue back to our apartment, I flushed with a familiar feeling. He’s too nice for me, I thought. I don’t know if I deserve him. Keep reading »
On my very first date with my boyfriend, I didn’t know if he was going to kiss me. I didn’t know yet that he loves Concord grapes, plays the saxophone and has never seen a Woody Allen movie. But I did know for certain that I wanted this person with whom I’d just eaten dinner to be in my life, somehow. I remember sitting across from him at a table in a Portuguese restaurant, smiling, and thinking, “Whatever happens after this date, I really hope we become friends. You’re cool.”
Flash forward six intense, crazy-in-love months and this man is not only boyfriend — he is my closest friend now, too, the one who knows everything about what goes on with my family, what goes on at work, what weird dreams woke me up in the middle of the night.
And I’m not entirely sure that’s a good thing. Keep reading »