Here is one of many theories I have about men: They all own and wear at least one pair of underwear that is so decrepit, so thread-barren, so holey, stained, and/or falling apart at the seams that they should have been thrown away years ago. My ex had a pair like this—they were boxer shorts and they had so many holes in the crotch that eventually they formed one giant hole, which his testicle would peek out of on those occasions when he would wear them sans pants while lounging on the couch. He had a bizarre attachment to these almost entirely disintegrated pair of boxers and I’m pretty sure he got a tiny thrill at how mortified and disgusted I was when he would wear them.  Eventually, he had to toss them when the hole got so big that the boxer shorts turned into a skirt. Since him, I’ve met other men with the same fondness for that one pair of barely-there-boxers and I have finally decided it’s time to find out WHY men hold on to them. After the jump, guys share their thoughts on why, oh why, they still have that pair of underwear.

If your bedroom buddy has been sporting the same skivvies over and over, it may be a sign that the recession is still in full throttle. According to economist Alan Greenspan, the former Federal Reserve chief, underwear sales are a great indicator of the economy’s status. Over the course of 2008, male underwear sales declined by 12%; as we all know, GDP took a sharp drop as well. So just in case you didn’t already have enough on your mind during the brutal economic meltdown, you now have to worry about (and be wary of) your dude’s holey undies, too. Here’s hoping the economy—and our boyfriends’ boxer collection—are on the rise.

For all of us who have ever enjoyed the work of a good push-up bra, the next sentence probably won’t be a huge shock. Guys want in on the action. But it’s not our cleavages they’re most interested in. It’s they’re own packages they’re dying to enhance. Capitalizing on the effects of the Wonderbra, designer Roland Lodoli has created push-up boxer briefs designed to “make the most of modest manhoods,” and, he says, they’ve been flying off the shelves at his shop in Zagreb, Croatia. All of which leads one to wonder: Are Croatian “manhoods” particularly modest? Lodoli says he’s working on push-up swimwear now, so men never have to feel ashamed at the beach again — “no matter how cold the water.” If a man can really wear a push-up bikini brief without feeling the least bit ashamed, more power to him, I guess. [TheSun.co.uk]

Okay, ladies, it’s Friday, it’s Spring, it’s time for a healthy debate. Are these Hello Kitty boxer briefs hot or not? On one hand, it’s like, Hello Kitty underwear is bad enough, but on a guy? Hells to the no, right? On the other hand, damn that model is rockin’ the kitty. But could a guy who doesn’t have Herculean shoulders, a toned six-pack, and an ass you could bounce your favorite stud earrings off of really pull these off? What say you, ladies? Yay or nay? [via KittyHell]

The editor of the James Bond fanzine 007 just bought a black-and-white photograph of Sean Connery taken on the set of 1963’s From Russia With Love. He is wearing nothing but his underwear, which are tight and white. The buyer plans to share the photo with the public: “It’s not the sort of picture you would expect to see of him, even then, and hopefully he will see this again and have a good laugh.” Or he’ll just slap you around a little. [HipHip-Elements.com]

At first when I saw this line of padded butt boxers for men, I was convinced it was one of those underwear sites for gay men that also make weird contraptions that cradle the balls. After all, every gay man I know has been a little more interested in having a pert bum for, you know, obvious reasons, than any of my straight guy friends. But apparently, I was wrong. These babies are for men of all sexual preferences. This makes me sad for a number of reasons. Have men become so obsessed with their bodies that they actually worry so about having the perfect apple bottom that they’re willing to wear padding? And why on earth would he want a butt this bubblicious? The mind boggles. [Bottoms Up via DeVore & Diana]

Shelling out the big bucks for lingerie isn’t that uncommon— this La Perla bra alone costs $238. But would you spend $250 on cashmere boxer briefs for your boyfriend? Last weekend, T, The New York Times Style Magazine featured this semi-sheer pair by designer Maurizio Amadei. They’re not really meant to be worn all the time, more like loungewear rather than everyday underwear. They look kind of cozy, and I think I could be enticed to buy a pair for a special occasion. Amelia says she would only buy them if they were on sale for $100. Well, I wasn’t able to find them at a discount online, in fact, I couldn’t find any cashmere men’s underwear. A gay friend advised that cashmere isn’t a popular fabric for underthings because it stretches out too much and wouldn’t flatter anyone, even David Beckham. “It would look like you’re wearing a diaper or borrowed your chubby bro’s skivvies,” he told us. A quick search did reveal a few pairs that are allegedly as soft as cashmere. See the packages after the jump. [WARNING: If you find a slight bulge offensive or NSFW, maybe you should wait to view until you’re in the privacy of your own home.]

Karolina Kurkova is a professional underwear wearer. As a model for Victoria’s Secret, she has probably tried on more than 1,000 bras/thongs/bikinis/etc., this year alone. In other words, she’s an expert. In her interview with Urban Daddy, she talks about Valentine’s Day lingerie and the debate that never seems to get old: boxers vs. briefs. (Boxer-briefs never get any love.) So, learn something from Karolina, who knows all about the articles of clothing that go under the articles of clothing that the general public sees…